The Odd Couple (1970–1975)
Jack Klugman: Oscar Madison, Blinky Madison, Ebenezer Madison
Photos
Quotes
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Oscar Madison : You want brown juice or green juice?
Felix Unger : What's the difference?
Oscar Madison : Three weeks.
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[Oscar's girlfriend is trying to get him to lose weight]
Oscar Madison : Honey, that's fun fat. Everybody has that.
Felix Unger : I don't.
Oscar Madison : You don't have any fun either.
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Felix Unger : What do you dream about?
Oscar Madison : Living alone.
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[Oscar is dating the princess of a tiny European country]
Princess : My country is so small we only sent one athlete to the Olympics.
Oscar Madison : Oh? What event did he compete in?
Princess : All of them!
Oscar Madison : How did he do?
Princess : He died in the relays.
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Felix Unger : What are you doing?
Oscar Madison : Sterilizing the wound.
Felix Unger : With beer?
Oscar Madison : It's got alcohol in it.
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Oscar Madison : You ruined my wine.
Felix Unger : Here's a dollar. Buy another three bottles.
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Oscar Madison : Don't talk to me about Christmas, will ya? All that sticky, phony goodwill. I'd like to get a giant candy cane and beat the wings off a sugar plum fairy.
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Felix Unger : She likes... David Cassidy better than me!
[Despondent that his daughter, Edna, isn't speaking to him]
Oscar Madison : So do I!
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[when Oscar opens a suitcase from his closet, clothes fall out]
Felix Unger : What's that?
Oscar Madison : Guess I forgot to unpack from the last trip.
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Felix Unger : The man puts his ketchup on his salad.
Oscar Madison : So? I like ketchup. It's like tomato wine.
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Oscar Madison : Felix, if you get on that plane alone, I will break every bone in your body.
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Oscar Madison : [repeated line, in an irritated tone] *Felix*...
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Oscar Madison : Felix, do me a favor. Don't commit suicide. Save some for me!
