Secret Life of a Schoolgirl Wife (1971) Poster

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A Weisswurst Shade of Pale
radiobirdma14 September 2016
A Disneyland for sex named Porn City, that's what aspiring smut producer George (simply dreadful: Rolf Zacher) has in mind, while his Italian friend and wannabe writer Franco (about as Italian as a menora: Sabi Dorr) is frolicking with a lonely MILF as well as with several young dishes from Munich's early 70s hipster scene. Sounds cool? It ain't. While the movie's title promises a fine slice of sleaze, it actually breathes the unhealthy bore-you-to-death spirit of the German Autorenkino, delivers nothing the trailer of the U.S. version promotes ("See the social freedom these cute young things have and find out why the boys call them superchicks!"), and don't let the American title fool you: A "School Girl Bride" is nowhere in sight. Instead you get an annoying voice-over storyteller, clumsy acting, abhorrent dialogues, a few nude scenes as sexy as the Loewenbrau truck roaring by, plus the obnoxious theme tune by highly overrated Krautrockers Can repeated ad nauseam. Probably 27-year-old American rookie director Leon Capetanos had a good time with Brezeln and Weisswurst over there in Bavaria, and maybe he even believed himself after a barrel of Augustiner that he was "one of the greatest talents from the New York Film Factory", as the German movie poster says. But whoa: A decade later he began a long-time collaboration with acclaimed filmmaker Paul Mazursky, resulting in highly successful massmarket flicks like Moscow on the Hudson. And so, in a way, this behemoth of a dud actually had a happy ending.
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