Betsy : Am I stoned yet?
Elvira : I don't think so.
Betsy : Then lets play Chopsticks anyway.
[Betsy plays Chopsticks on the piano]
Betsy : I don't remember the words...
Eddie : She was sure you'd been murdered and raped.
Elvira : (sarcastic) Murdered maybe...
Elvira : Jack, I know you'd just as soon climb aboard a man than a woman, wouldn't you?
Jack : Elvira, I'd climb aboard a porcupine if it struck my fancy.
Betsy : Did you have a nice evening, Elvira?
Elvira : No. I'd tell you all about it, only you'd blush.
Betsy : That's all a good Catholic girl ever does.
Betsy : Well now, I was thinking... with all of you in the bed... uh
[pause]
Betsy : how do you know...
Elvira : Who's who?
Betsy : Uh, well yeah.
Elvira : You don't. First you don't know. Then you can't tell. Then you you don't care.
Elvira : [handing Betsy the joint] Smokee?
Betsy : [smiling and fixated on the joint being handed to her] Okay.
Elvira : Do you want a pill?
Betsy : [without so much as a fleeting pause] Oh I can't take the pill, I'm Catholic.
Elvira : Not *the* pill... *a* pill.
[Betsy puts on crotchless panties and a frontless bra]
Betsy : Why don't I just wear nothing?
Elvira : That would be vulgar.
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