No Sex Please - We're British (1973) Poster

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4/10
Funny enough, but perhaps gets lost in translation
studioAT25 November 2017
This adaption of a British stage play in entertaining enough, and a nice traditional farce in many ways.

With a nice central performance from the dearly missed Ronnie Corbett this film has many funny moments.

As other people have said in their own reviews I think this material probably would have worked better on stage, and suffers somewhat in translation, but it makes for an enjoyable enough 80 minutes or so.
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6/10
Should have been left on stage
neil-47626 November 2011
Warning: Spoilers
We poor old Brits have never been ashamed to demonstrate how embarrassed we are about anything sexual. This is why the farce No Sex Please, We're British - with a plot which centred on unwelcome pornography arriving at a small local bank branch - did so well on stage.

This film adaptation shows its stage origins very clearly - you can hear every line and see every action as if it was taking place on stage. The trouble is that a line which is saucy, cheesy, and seaside postcard-y in terms of double entendre punning may work very well on stage: the audience will seize on it and it will form part of a dialogue between cast and audience, where the audience's huge enjoyment of rude and corny humour delivered with gusto feeds back to the cast who, in turn, devour the audience response and give it back in kind. Then deliver those same lines from a cinema screen - or, worse, a TV screen - and they emerge only to fall flat on their face. This sex face simply does not work as a film.

But it is worth watching for the stellar cast of UK TV talent on show, all working their socks off to no avail.
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4/10
Great views of Windsor!
simon-89420 August 2017
This is pretty dreadful and unfunny which is unfortunate as the cast has some great names. Ronnie Corbett tries his best in the lead role but the script is poor. Michael Robbins (On The Buses) is rather wasted as a car driver with only two small scenes. I think Ian Ogilvy is miscast as he's just not funny. Arthur Lowe is excellent as you might expect and Susan Penhaligon is very natural and looks like she's enjoying the whole thing. Interesting to see Michael Bates (It Ain't Half Hot Mum) in a relatively straight role while Beryl Reid sleepwalks through her part. For me though the most interesting thing is the shots (there are many) of Windsor town. Windsor was the location for Carry On films Cabby and Loving and Norman Wisdom's On The Beat.
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Flawed but entertaining....
CurtHerzstark24 June 2012
Here is filmed adaptation of famous English sex farce, or comedic play that was panned by critics but proved so popular that it became one of longest running stageplays in theater.

The story is pretty simple about a couple, David Hunter and his wife Penny who live in the apartment upstairs from Davids workplace, a bank, but due to a mix up of addresses they get mistaken for a pornshop and starts receiving porn that they never ordered.

At same time Davids boss starts anti porn campaign and to add even more problems, Davids mother comes to visit, while David, his wife and co worker Brian Runnicles try to get rid of all the porn....

This an oldfashioned kind of comedy, lots sexual innuendos, slapstick gags, and misunderstandings that will lead to even more comedic results.

Nothing new, but has an incredible charm, mainly thanks to the talented actors like, Ronnie Corbett who plays Brian Runnicles. Corbetts offers amazing ability for slapstick gags and steals almost every scenes he is in.

Together with Ian Ogilvy(David Hunter), Susan Penhaligon(Penny Hunter), they form a strong trio in the center.

But the jokes are old and dusty, and makes any screwball comedy by Howard Hawks, Preston Sturges, to look sharper and more update.

However, future viewers only looking for little bit of lighthearted fun and entertainment should look at this one, it will make you smile.
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3/10
Positively Prehistoric
JamesHitchcock1 May 2020
I cannot imagine a play called "No Sex Please, We're American" packing them in on Broadway. Nor "Kein Sex Bitte, Wir Sind Deutsch" being a hit in the German theatre. As for "Pas de Sexe, S'il Vous Plait, Nous Sommes Francais", I cannot imagine a play with that title ever being written.

We Brits, however, are keener on national self-deprecation, especially when it comes to sex. "No Sex Please, We're British" was one of the great success stories of the London theatre during the seventies and eighties. I never saw it, and it was by all accounts almost universally loathed by the nation's critics, but it was a smash hit with the public. It opened in 1971, and by the time it finally closed in 1987 it had become the West End's longest-running play apart from the perennial "The Mousetrap". By 1973 it was already regarded as something of a phenomenon, and a film version became inevitable. Farce was a popular genre in the British theatre during this period; another example, "Don't Just Lie There, Say Something", also made it onto the cinema screen in the same year.

The action takes place in the ultra-respectable town of Windsor, home of Her Majesty the Queen. A sex shop has recently opened in the High Street, much to the disgust of many local citizens. Owing to a mix-up in the address, a consignment of pornography intended for this establishment is delivered in error to the local branch of Barclays Bank or, to be exact, to a flat above the bank occupied by its deputy manager, David Hunter, and his young wife Penny. The plot revolves around David's attempts, aided by Penny and his hapless, diminutive colleague Brian Runnicles, to dispose of the unwanted porn before it can come to the attention of the police, of his formidable mother Bertha or of the Bank's puritanical manager Mr Bromley. (I am not sure why the police would want to get involved. We never see any of the offending dirty pictures, but if they can be sold from a shop on Windsor High Street, there is presumably nothing illegal about them. In seventies Britain it was quite legal to sell softcore porn, even if hardcore was still a bit dodgy).

Or at least Bromley pretends to be a Puritan. When, following another misunderstanding, two attractive young prostitutes arrive at the Bank, they immediately recognise him as one of their clients. It is almost a given in films of this sort that anyone, especially an elderly or middle-aged man, taking a strong anti-permissive line will be exposed as a hypocrite. The womanising Government minister in "Don't Just Lie There, Say Something" is, of course, leading a very public anti-filth campaign.

The cast contains several well-loved legends of British television comedy, including Arthur ("Dad's Army") Lowe and Ronnie ("Two Ronnies") Corbett. Michael Bates and Brian Wilde would both later find fame in "Last of the Summer Wine", with Bates also appearing in "It Ain't Half Hot Mum" and Wilde alongside Corbett's comedy partner Ronnie Barker in "Porridge". Frank Thornton was later to become one of the stalwarts of "Are You Being Served?" Lowe was probably cast as Bromley because had already won fame playing a pompous, self-important bank manager, Captain George Mainwaring, in "Dad's Army". There is, however, a major difference between the characters; beneath his bluster Mainwaring has a certain integrity and decency which Bromley lacks.

Comic talent, however, does not always transfer well from the small screen to the large. The Pythons, particularly Michael Palin, might be an exception, and Dudley Moore became something of a Hollywood star in the eighties, but many of my personal comedy heroes never really excelled in feature films. Moreover, even a comedy legend, no matter how well loved, is only as good as his material, and the material Lowe. Corbett and the others have to deal with here is poor stuff indeed.

Any humour arising from the attempts of David, Penny and Runnicles to rid themselves of the dirty pictures is laboured in the extreme. The film is based upon the premise, a popular one at the time, that any mention of sex or matters sexual is "naughty" and that if it is "naughty" it must be amusing. Like a number of ideas which seemed trendy or daring in the early seventies, this premise did not stand the test of time. Although the film was made in 1973, it was not released in America until 1979, when a reviewer for The New York Times wrote about its "simple-minded and by now rather outdated double and triple entendres". And that was only six years after it was made. If "No Sex Please...." was starting to look outdated before the decade was out, another four decades on it looks positively prehistoric. As I said, I have never seen the original stage play, but if it was anything like as bad as the film I am surprised that it ran for sixteen performances, let alone sixteen years. 3/10
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7/10
Surprisingly good 'Carry On' style farce.
qrt75 May 2003
I wasn't expecting much from this film, but I was pretty surprised at the laughs it got from me. The film is quite dated in a 70's sex farce way, but that also works well in its favour for retro buffs and Carry On fans. The pace is a little plodding to begin with, but picks up well after 20 minutes and really carries a fast pace through to the end.

The plot (like it's important) centres around dodgy pornography being sent to a bank by accident with predictably hilarious consequences...

British viewers will also have fun spotting the large amount of well known names in the film (Ronnie Corbett, Arthur Lowe, David Swift, Frank Thornton, A bloke from On the Buses etc), who all put in good comedy turns. Plus, being a sex farce, you also get to see Valerie Leon and Margeret Nolan running round in their smalls. Bonus!

Definately one to watch with a beer on a bank holiday monday...

A good 7.
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3/10
Witless
malcolmgsw14 April 2021
As has already been mentioned trying to make a film of a.west end farce is a bit.pointless,as it is not going to adapt well to another medium. It is not helped by actors playing as if they are onstage. Itbis good to see all the well known actors of the period. Otherwise this is a chore to watch.
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8/10
Exemplary British farce
Leofwine_draca5 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
I thought No Sex Please: We're British was an excellent British farce/sex comedy of the early 1970s. Much of the film's success comes down to the casting of no less than Ronnie Corbett in the central role, taking over from Michael Crawford who played the part on stage. Corbett is an exceptional delight here and thoroughly, thoroughly amusing; I can't imagine anyone else playing the role so successfully. He's a delight every time he's on screen, which is for most of the film.

The story is simple stuff, but effective: the mild-mannered employees of a bank are shocked when a mix-up means that they start receiving pornography through the post. The subsequent farcical storytelling sees them trying to get rid of said pornography, which just keeps on turning up, and trying to avoid the authorities finding out both in the form of their own boss and the local police.

This is cracking stuff, fast-paced and never less than funny; an exemplary British cast of familiar faces is also well chosen to play in support. Ian Ogilvy and Susan Penhaligon take the straight-man roles and do very well, while Arthur Lowe plays a familiar part with relish. Beryl Reid is delightful while the cameos from the likes of Michael Ripper, Frank Thornton, David Swift, Gerald Sim, Brian Wilde, and Robin Askwith are a hoot. Watch out for Margaret Nolan and Valerie Leon in an eye-popping double act at the film's climax.
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Carries On Where the 'Carry On' Films Leave Off
chrisdl_heath12 December 2003
Amusing, if predictable fare in the manner of the 'Carry On' films of the period, No Sex Please, We're British shows how we stuffy Brits tie ourselves in knots when it comes to this subject. The funny thing is how the cast, led by Ronnie Corbett, handle their predicament and it has to be said, they cope with aplomb. As you might expect, the plot is all about mix-ups, keeping a stiff upper lip, maintaining a veneer of social respectability, not getting found out about something someone hasn't done and failing miserably.

We have to remember that the Britain of the early 1970's was a far more prudish one even though it followed on straight after the 'swinging sixties'. However, how many of us wouldn't feel the same embarrassment today?

I remember seeing the stage play first in London' s West End in the 1980's during one of it's enumerable runs and it was mightily enjoyable then. What I do love about this film the most is its location shooting in and around Windsor at the time I lived there as a little boy and it brings back many fond memories of my childhood. Unfortunately, the town has changed a great deal since then, mostly for the worse, but this film does show Windsor in all its unspoilt glory, and for this I shall always love it.
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10/10
Ronnie Corbett shines in this excellent farce!
manchester_england200424 August 2017
NO SEX PLEASE WE'RE British is a film adaptation of the stage farce of the same name, written by Anthony Marriott and Alistair Foot. The stage version is one of the longest running farces in Britain and originally starred Michael Crawford. I'm too young to have seen the play when originally performed but I've read it and I have to say that once again the film version is better. This seems to be a trend with British films based on stage farces - the film version is better. The faster pacing has much to do with this. It's because of this that I wish more films based on British stage farces were made. It would have been wonderful to have A BEDFUL OF FOREIGNERS and MOVE OVER, MRS MARKHAM on the big screen for example.

The plot is as follows - a couple living in a flat above a high street bank find themselves receiving all sorts of pornography - "dirty" postcards, books and so on. A timid, accident-prone bank clerk finds himself embroiled in it all too. The comedy derives from the very British theme of embarrassment of association with sex and the predictably hilarious results as they try to dispose of the books, the postcards and the videos. The film is a neat blend of CARRY ON style comedy mixed with the elements of traditional stage farce (outrageous misunderstandings, mistaken identities, characters making up ridiculous stories to get out of trouble and so on). There's also quite a bit of running around, hiding from people and the like. All that's missing really is a Benny Hill-style chase sequence, which would have been the icing on the cake.

This film rests on the excellent performance of Ronnie Corbett. Outside of THE TWO RONNIES, Corbett is at his best in this film. He invests such a huge amount of energy and spirit in the role that it has to be seen to be believed. He proves what a great character actor he was. I really couldn't imagine anyone else being as good as he was in the role he played in this film. It's as though he found the part he was born to play. He did play a similar role in a film called SOME WILL, SOME WON'T it's true. But it just works better in this film due to the incredible situations he stumbles into.

Ian Ogilvy and Susan Penhaligon are massively underrated as the couple who live above the bank. Before watching this film, it's hard to imagine Ian Ogilvy running around a flat trying to avert disaster. But he does it to perfection here. Likewise, Susan Penhaligon is great. The scene with the chili peppers is brilliant.

Arthur Lowe is great as the pompous bank manager outraged by the proliferation of porn. No one could make pompousness hilarious like Lowe did.

The rest of the cast, including Beryl Reid, Michael Bates, Cheryl Hall, Michael Robbins and many others, are all great too and all play up to their screen personas in other films and shows very well.

The film is very fast-paced and the script contains lots of lines that, while not particularly hilarious on paper, translate into hilarity on the screen.

Overall, this is a great farce with Ronnie Corbett playing the part he looks born to play. It's one of my all-time favourite comedies and is a must-see for fans of the CARRY ON films, Benny Hill or British stage farces.
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Please don't try to film stage plays, it rarely works...
world_of_weird16 September 2004
No Sex Please, We're British was a long-running stage farce that had audiences in stitches night after night with its spiralling absurdity and honest vulgarity, but the makers of this film adaptation failed to grasp that what may work brilliantly on stage, where the adrenalin levels of the actors are boosted throughout by the enthusiasm of a live audience, simply looks strained and overwrought on film. (This is why none of Frankie Howerd's film roles worked - without an audience to react to his innuendo and dithering, he was sunk.) But hang on a minute - I can't completely dismiss this film, however much of a misfire it is, because at least we have Susan Penhaligon at her cutest; Ian Ogilvy preparing for his role as Grayson the bully in the TV series 'Ripping Yarns'; Arthur Lowe, Michael Bates and Beryl Reid being pompous as only they can; lots of familiar TV and film faces who'll have you rushing to the IMDb (why do you think I'm writing this!) or, in the absence of internet access, arguing amongst your family and friends; and the eye-pleasing pairing of Valerie Leon and Margaret Nolan (both Carry On regulars) as a pair of classy call-girls who spend a lot of time in various states of undress! The credits mention Deryck Guyler, but he certainly wasn't in the broadcast version I watched - so either he was cut from the film but not the credits, or the TV company ditched his scene to accommodate some commercials. It's not a total waste of time, but Ronnie Corbett was never meant to be Brian Runnicles (Tim Brooke-Taylor would have been better) and large stretches go by with nary a chuckle. Still, it's a pleasant enough souvenir of sillier, more innocent times, and it livens up considerably towards the end - just stay with it.
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8/10
"There's something wrong with you people, you're not normal"
ygwerin130 March 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Another typically British aspect of this film, is humbug and hypocrisy regarding sex.

In particular from the pompous folk who hold themselves up, as Pillars of the Community the very Height of Respectability.

One such person in Britain was Marry Whitehouse who assembled like minded souls, into the Viewers and Listeners Association.

This was created to be moral arbiters of the nation, to decide what the public should consider as decent and proper. They created a storm in a teacup over a TV documentary about Andy Warhole, a programme that would probably have had only a tiny audience. Except that Whitehouse only managed to create publicity out of her furore. Many more people tuned in, to see what all the fuss was about.

In this film Arthur Lowe's character Mr. Bromley is an all too typical example of this ilk, parading in public as whiter than white.

While personally subscribing as Mr. Smith to the kind of club and practices, that he campaigns against.

I especially liked the scene with the films arriving at the church hall, with the vicar handling them. And another of them being screened to the prudes, being projected on Bromley's body.

Why because of a similar scene, from an episode of Steptoe and Son. Where an old what the public saw machine, has been donated to the church jumble. Pictures of Albert that he had modled for as a youth, were on the machine and paritioners were paying to view them.
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9/10
Enjoyable Romp
crumpytv10 March 2021
A classic British farce which we found surprisingly good. Very entertaining. Ronnie Corbett was excellent. Lots of familiar faces and laugh out loud moments.
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8/10
Enjoyable Farce
watf-7114415 March 2022
Ronnie Corbett is a delight in this hilarious tale of a mix up and subsequent decisions that cause all manner of mayhem.

Having not seen the stage play I cant compare it as other seem to have done, but as a stand alone piece I would definitely recommend it.
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