- Sgt. Leftkowitz: You know, Lieutenant, um, I'm in the homicide office at least, uh, once a week. I don't think I've ever seen you there.
- Columbo: Well, I don't get down there too much. None of the murders take place there, you know?
- Columbo: [to Grace] From my experience, ma'am, I've discovered that people don't usually forget to do that which they usually do.
- Columbo: Listen, uh, you don't mind if I pump your hand, do ya? You're the fellow that was in all those musicals. Wait'll I tell my wife. You were always her favorite. She dragged me to every musical you were ever in.
- Ned Diamond: I'm sorry you had to be dragged.
- Dr. Henry Willis: [to Grace] Half a million dollars is not a drop in the bucket to anybody, with the possible exception of the Shah of Iran and Howard Hughes.
- Columbo: [alluding to his compulsiveness] A light goes on up here... and sometimes I can't turn it off.
- Grace Wheeler Willis: Would you care to join us? We're running a film.
- Columbo: Oh, thank you very, very much. No, I can't. This is Sunday and I promised my dog I'd take him to the park.
- Lt. Flaherty: Columbo.
- Columbo: Lt. Flaherty. Long time, no see.
- Lt. Flaherty: You ought to try coming downtown once in a while.
- Columbo: I'm gonna get down there this week for sure.
- Lt. Flaherty: You know a Sergeant Lefkowitz?
- Columbo: Sergeant Lefkowitz? Oh, the lady with the computer. Yes.
- Lt. Flaherty: You've been giving her the run around.
- Columbo: Me? No. No, I explained to her that my records regard to my going to pistol practice got loused up in the computer.
- Lt. Flaherty: You were right about that. The read-out said you hadn't fired in five years. She double-checked it. It was ten.
- Columbo: Gee, you gotta be kidding!
- Lt. Flaherty: You better get out to that range right away.
- Columbo: Gee, I can't go now. I gotta go some place.
- Lt. Flaherty: Columbo, you could be suspended.
- Columbo: But I don't have a gun.
- Raymond: [finding Columbo at the front door] Yes? Oh. Not YOU again. I spent the whole morning cleaning up after your men.
- Ned Diamond: Lieutenant, you must be aware of the fact that... that men who retire from very active lives very often go into severe depression for no apparent reason whatsoever. I know. I've been there.
- Columbo: You didn't shoot yourself, did ya? Big difference between being old and unhappy and puttin' a gun to your head. Has to be a reason.
- Grace Wheeler Willis: Have you taken leave of your senses?
- Columbo: Well, I guess it looks that way, doesn't it?
- Columbo: You see, if Henry already brought the gun in, if he was already thinking about suicide...
- Pat: [heard in the background] Okay, let's go.
- Columbo: ...before he went to bed, then I don't believe he would be reading this. It's a light, funny book - not the kind of thing that a man would be reading just before shooting himself.
- Grace Wheeler Willis: That policeman's starting to get on my nerves.
- Ned Diamond: What's he still hanging around for?
- Grace Wheeler Willis: He says... he's searching for a crystal-clear reason why Henry killed himself. I've tried to be patient, helpful, but the point is Henry did, and he just keeps bringing up painful memories.
- Columbo: I have very good reason to believe that Miss Wheeler killed her husband.
- Ned Diamond: If you think I'm gonna stand here and listen to that... I'll get a lawyer - I'll get a battery of lawyers - and the least that can happen will be the end of one very unimportant career! OUT!
- Ned Diamond: Anyway, what difference does it make? It doesn't mean anything.
- Columbo: Oh, it means a great deal, sir. It goes to the very heart of the matter.