No Deposit, No Return (1976) Poster

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7/10
It's for kids, but we all should have a bit of childhood preserved in our hearts
Bored_Dragon16 October 2017
I didn't enjoy a movie this much for quite some time. Brains off, laughter on, push play and enjoy. Many brag about it being unrealistic. Damn, people, this is Disney comedy for kids. It is not supposed to be realistic, it is supposed to be fun and it's very successful in it. For almost two hours I was elementary school boy once again, just relaxing after school and watching good old-fashioned TV. I have no objections to this movie, except maybe car chase scene being too long. I recommend it to everyone with all my heart.

7/10
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7/10
This story would've been perfect for 90mins; rather than 112mins
r96sk29 January 2021
It undoubtedly runs for too long, but 'No Deposit, No Return' still satisfied me.

It has a similar vibe to it as 'Candleshoe', which Disney released roughly twelve months after this. The plots are different, but there are a few things that I found alike; the obvious being David Niven, who appears as the older gentleman in both, as well as his character's living room; that latter claim is based on my memory only, mind.

Niven is good in this, though he's doesn't really do that much - at least compared to his co-stars. The two kid actors are solid, Kim Richards the standout; almost a year after Disney viewers saw her in 'Escape to Witch Mountain'. Darren McGavin and Don Knotts are a fun duo, while Herschel Bernardi - who reminded me a lot of Nick Sandow in terms of looks - does well too.

The plot is ridiculous, but I actually found enough entertainment in it - mostly thanks to the aforementioned cast. The humour, while nothing LOL-worthy, is satisfactory. My only true negative is the pacing of the run time. It's fine, but this story would've been perfect for 90mins; rather than 112mins - those extra minutes are very noticeable and, ultimately, add little.

When all is said and done, though, I had a suitable time with this.
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7/10
I give this one seven broken pencils out of 10.
Hey_Sweden29 March 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Darren "Kolchak" McGavin and Don Knotts make a comfortable comedy team in this typically over the top, slapstick-heavy live action feature from Disney. Kim Richards and Brad Savage, no strangers to Disney movies, play Tracy and Jay, and the two of them feel neglected by their jet-setting mother Carolyn (Barbara Feldon). And they definitely don't want to spend time with their grandfather (David Niven), whom they don't really like. So they enter into an arrangement with Duke (McGavin) and Bert (Knotts) after the two adults and two kids share a fateful cab ride. Tracy comes up with the idea that they will stage a "kidnapping", and when rich grandpa supposedly coughs up the dough, the four characters will split the proceeds. Grandpa, however, has other ideas.

One would think that screenwriter Dale Launer, who later wrote "Ruthless People", had seen this one and was inspired by it. This is a reasonably engaging family comedy that unfortunately wastes too much time and goes on too long (the story didn't really need that detour where Bert must rescue Jay and his pet skunk Duster). Still, it's easy enough to like, with the whole cast delivering very enthusiastic performances. Since Duke and Bert are basically good guys who would like to go straight, the movie does still need a genuine villain, and gets it in the form of threatening mobster Big Joe (Vic "Mel" Tayback) and his flunky Freddie (character actor Louis Guss).

Like so many Disney live action comedies from this era, the climactic action revolves around a farcical chase sequence. It does feature some priceless gags, but goes on too long, just like the overall movie. It's formulaic stuff, with the kind of feel-good ending guaranteed to please its intended audience, and has some of the characters experience epiphanies so they can become better people by the conclusion.

Keep an eye out for a rich variety of familiar faces in supporting roles and bits: Herschel Bernardi, Charles Martin Smith (as apparently the worst driver on the police force), John Williams, James Hong, Bob Hastings, and Iris Adrian.

Inspired by the O. Henry yarn "Ransom of Red Chief".

Seven out of 10.
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6/10
mildly amusing caper comedy starring Don KNotts
disdressed121 April 2009
in this sort of caper comedy,Darren McGavin and Don Knotss star as a safe cracker and his partner/lookout/getaway driver.both are softhearted and eventually get mixed up in a(sort of)kidnap scheme with a young girl and her brother(who happen to have a penchant for mischief).anyway,the usual hi jinx take place.there's some physical comedy and some silly car chases.there's also some pretty bad overacting.but that's seems par for the course in a lot of Disney comedies form the seventies.it's all mildly amusing for the most part and it's entertainment the whole family can enjoy.for me,No Deposit,No Return is a 6/10
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7/10
The world according to Disney
jaybabb13 June 2001
If Disney had their way in this world, It would be the world as it portrayed in this film:

*Mom works for a magazine. I think she's divorced, though the word divorce isn't mentioned.

*She has two kids, Jay & Tracy.

*Now, Mom is detained in Hong Kong during their Easter vacation.(Any one ever heard of Easter vacation, or did I miss something when I was growing up in the seventies?)

*The kids have a skunk as a pet!!(It's unthinkable that a child of any age would want a skunk as a pet) I forgot-this is not the real world! This is after all the world according to Disney.

*Jay utters the words "If mom can't bring her vacation to us, we'll take ours to her" But Tracy is realistic. She says "Where do we get the $1200 to pay for the two airline tickets?" Yea right! In the real world, this is unthinkable! But don't forget-this is not the real world.

*Two men try to rob a safe at an airport, they get away of course-not successful in their attempt to get the money. The two kids get in the same cab as the two robbers at the same time! They go to their hide out. They own a garage, and they are building high rises on both sides of it. Is this for real? It must be according to Disney!

*The Grandfather sees the two kids go inside the hideout with the robbers, but he doesn't call the police Instead he want to teach the children how to be better citizens. Do grandfathers let their grandchildren go inside a hideout with a couple of robbers? They do at least According to Disney!

*Try this: Two gangsters are after Duke & Bert, because they owe them $7000.00. $9000.00? $11.000? $13.000? They failed at their airport robbery, now they have 72 hours to get the money. What to do? Tracy has an idea: Stage a kidnapping, have grandfather pay the ransom who is a millionaire. Let's see if I get this straight: Grandfather wants to teach the children to be better citizens only to get a ransom note from the so called "kidnappers"? I guess this is normal according to Disney.

*After sometime, grandfather calls the police. Mom hears about the "Kidnapping" and she returns................

I could go on, but that would give it away! You get the picture? I know this is only a movie-but it's interesting to note a contrast between the real world and the world according to Disney. The events depicted are unthinkable and unrealistic.

Where do script writers get the ideas for this trash? I have no idea, but I do know this: They have a perverted view of the world. I enjoy this film though. Just don't forget: It's not the real world, but the world according to Disney!
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10/10
Very good family film!
lucky_ladybug25 September 2000
This film is full of fun and comedy. You are going to laugh so hard you'll hurt! The building ledge and police chase scenes are outrageously hilarious! Don Knotts does a great job in this movie. Definitely one of his best!
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4/10
Don't Deposit, Don't Return Unless You're Under 12
bkoganbing23 April 2009
Maybe if Walt Disney Studios had decided to make a real adaption of O'Henry's Ransom Of Red Chief the results might have come out better. Certainly the story had been used before most successfully by 20th Century Fox in their O'Henry anthology film O'Henry's Full House where Fred Allen and Oscar Levant played the luckless kidnappers of Lee Aaker. But this adaption, credited or not, in No Deposit, No Return is one of the Magic Kingdom's less successful family films.

I have no doubt that originally this was intended for Don Knotts to be once again teamed up with Tim Conway. If that had happened maybe the results would have been better. On the other hand you could believe Darren McGavin was a top professional safe-cracker a lot faster than Conway.

Brother and sister Brad Savage and Kim Richards are on Easter break from their boarding school in the United Kingdom and instead of being with their absentee mother Barbara Feldon, they are going to be spending time with their stuffy grandfather David Niven in Los Angeles. That's a terrific disappointment because Niven's just not a kid's person.

So after ditching chauffeur Bob Hastings sent to pick them up and falling in with crooks McGavin and Knotts, the kids hatch a scheme to stage their own kidnapping in the hopes of raising plane fare to Hong Kong where mom is and for their two accomplices to get out of a mounting gambling debt owed to Vic Tayback.

Kids under the age of 12 might approve of this film. Every adult in the film is positively clueless, including cops Herschel Bernardi and Charles Martin Smith. Having kids be the smartest ones in a film is always guaranteed to please a juvenile audience. But you've got to wonder how Bernardi and Smith ever got on the force and how McGavin, Knotts, and Tayback ever succeeded in a life of crime.

As for David Niven this was one of two films he made for the Magic Kingdom, the other being Candleshoe. That one being set in England took advantage of Niven's background. In No Deposit, No Return, Niven's considerable charm is stretched to the breaking point.

Recommended strictly for grade school kids. I'm sure William Sidney Porter is glad he wasn't given any screen credit for this.
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10/10
Great fun, Great comedy, Great story, in one Great movie
jre-525 July 2007
I have been watching this for longer than any other movie, over 25 years now, ever since I was a little kid. I have probably seen it hundreds of times, and yet to this day it still remains one of my favorites. It's very fun and clean comedy, more movies should be like this. Some of it is a bit crazy, like the long car chase, but it's also truly hilarious and great comedy that to me doesn't grow old. I also really like the story which is rather unique. It's great in the way that two would be criminals actually become very good people. I find it quite touching how they get to having a good time with the kids, and what they do near the end to help them. And it's got a very happy and satisfying ending. It's great fun, great comedy, and after all these years it's still one of my favorites.
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2/10
Too silly for grown-ups
HotToastyRag20 February 2018
In this silly, pie-in-the-face comedy, a brother and sister try to avoid spending Easter break with their stuffy grandfather, so they hide out with two bank robbers and fake their own kidnapping. You don't have to rent it; trust me, it sounds better than it is.

While he gets first billing, David Niven as the grandfather has hardly any screen time. The children aren't the most likable characters ever written, and the wannabe criminals, Darren McGavin and Don Knotts, aren't really that funny. For laughs, screenwriters Arthur Alsberg and Don Nelson rely on slapstick gags and elaborate but boring setups involving the little boy's pet skunk. It's fine to rent with very little children, but the grown-ups will probably be surfing the internet on their phones the whole time.
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10/10
70s Disney Formula
Hollywood_Yoda10 October 2018
What more could you ask for from Disney, their formula comedy films were a staple from the 1950s through the 70s. In this film, two children are supposed to spend their vacation with their grandfather. Problem is, they don't like him, so they concoct a plan to be kidnapped. The kidnappers couldn't have been better cast with Darren McGavin and Don Knotts.

This film couldn't be made in today's world, with all the child abductions going on, but back in 70s though, the atmosphere was different. The point of the movie though, is money is not what loves you back, and the grandfather needed to learn that. This is one of the last Disney films to star Don Knotts.
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4/10
Burglars at their Wit's end.
Baldach4 October 1999
Duke and Bert played (Eavin and Don Knotts) are two safe-cracking burglars who are out to bust out their big job. They plan to rob the safe of a millionaire. Unfortunately they get entangled with the two grand kids of the millionaire. The grand kids want to run away and force the bank robbers to chaperone them. A comic Disney movie that proves that crime may not pay, but it can be funny.
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4/10
No return for the near two hours spent on this.
mark.waltz30 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Once again, Disney seem to have all the right elements for another family friendly comedy that ends up being a boring misfire because it is too long and follows the format of the same beginning, middle and and that guided many of Disney's comedies in the 1970's. Formula number 1. Get a bunch of kids in a dangerous situation. Formula on number two. Find veteran actors either as good guys or comical villainous. Formula number 3. Have a lengthy car chase sequence that ultimately ends up with a vehicle ( most likely a cop car) in water.

Two kids are on spring break and hoping to see their mother, Barbara Feldon, they end up on a plane to visit their grouchy and uncaring grandfather. Veteran actor David Niven does what he can to make his character engaging, but his character doesn't really get much to do and is not at all carved out to be anything more then your typical completely self-centered patriarch. Don Knotts gets Darren McGavin instead of Tim Conway a pair of bumbling crooks, involved with mob boss Vic Tayback ("Alice") while stage actor Herschel Bernardi place the veteran cop saddled with on inferior newbie.

Knotts has one interesting sequence where his character is stuck up on a roof with a pet skunk, a scene straight out of an old Harold Lloyd silent comedy. Aging actress Iris Adrian, a veteran of many of these Disney films, plays the woman in the building who keeps pelting Knotts with her powder-puff. There is nothing really challenging or knew about this film, the same tired old formula Disney had been doing since the late 50s with all those Fred MacMurray films. At nearly two hours, it is just too long, and the subject of kidnapping is distasteful as a plot development for a Disney movie.
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