Soap (1977–1981)
Cathryn Damon: Mary Campbell
Photos
Quotes
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Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell : I have one son who's about to become my daughter, another son whom people are trying to kill, I have a lunatic stepson and a dummy living in my home and a husband who won't make love to me. That's not life, that's something by Tennessee Williams!
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[in a sex therapist's office]
Dr Medlow : What seems to be the problem?
Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell : Burt can't have sex with me.
Burt : Great. Why don't you tell the whole world, Mary. Or better yet put it in the Yellow Pages under Burt.
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Announcer : This is the story of two sisters. Jessica Tate and Mary Campbell. These are the Tates, and these are the Campbells, and this is Soap.
Jessica Gatling Tate , Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell : [after Burt and Chester start a physical altercation] Hey! Stop!
[soon the whole family tries to stop Burt and Chester from fighting]
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[Jessica and Mary thumbing through a photo album]
Jessica Gatling Tate : Look, Mary.
Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell : Randolph.
Jessica Gatling Tate : That's right. Our brother. Our brother who fathered an illegitimate child with a Swedish maid and then disappeared into the wilds of Ecuador. Don't you find that a little peculiar?
Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell : Jessie, Randolph was peculiar. Any man who would go to Ecuador to sell wall-to-wall carpet is not all there.
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Mary Gatling Dallas Campbell : [at the sex therapist's office] This is a perfectly normal office.
Burt : Normal, huh? Take a look at some of these books: "Sexual Perversion: Fact or Fiction" Normal? "Sexuality in Infancy" Oh, I like that one a lot. "The Frigid Woman", "The Impotent Male" - I have to get out of here.
