Desperate Living (1977)

Edith Massey: Queen Carlotta

Photos 

Quotes 

• Queen Carlotta : Every word I ever utter shall be considered a royal proclamation!

• Queen Carlotta : Get out of my chambers, lesbians!

• Queen Carlotta : [ordering the guards to gang rape Princess Coo-Coo]  Seize her and fuck her.

• Queen Carlotta : [giving one of her nude guards a spanking]  This will teach you to arouse royalty.

• Queen Carlotta : Any last words, goon face?

  Goon : You can lick my royal hemorrhoids, you fat pig!

  Queen Carlotta : Oh, ready, aim, FIRE!

  [the goon is gunned down as Grizelda and Peggy stare in horror] 

• Queen Carlotta : [surveying her subjects as they participate in her own self-enforced "Backwards Day"]  Look at those dummies! Hey, moron! You got your clothes on backwards! Ha ha ha! Oh, God, this is fun! Hi, stupid! Hi, ugly!

  Shotsie : Ewww, that senile old cunt!

  Mole McHenry : I wish I had a rifle with a telescopic lens.

  Flipper : I'd help you pull the trigger, Mole!

  Muffy St. Jacques : Squeaky Fromme, where are you when we need you?

• Queen Carlotta : Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch! Take it off! Come on, let's see some ass! Yeah! Yeah! Strip faster! Let's see some private areas! Ohhhh I see London, I see France! Spread those legs, baby! I want meat and potatoes! Yeahhhh! A Hollywood loaf! Yessssirrreee! Come on over here with that thing! You're a wicked little boy getting me all heated up, aren't you? I'm going to have to give you a spanking!

• Queen Carlotta : Two guards bring in a hippy biker type so that Queen Carlotta will make an impression to Peggy and Grizelda about law being dispensed in Mortville. Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence on you?

  Citizen of Mortville : Well, you can just lick my haemorrhoids, you fat, fucking bitch!

  Goon , Goon : Oh guards! Just blow him away! Guards then proceed to do as ordered, brandishing guns to shoot down the hippy biker type.

• Queen Carlotta : Royal proclamation number one!

  [trumpet] 

  Queen Carlotta : As long as you live in Mortville, you must always consider me your god, and if you ever see me on the streets, fall to your knees and shout, "I honor you, Queen Carlotta!" Royal proclamation two!

  [trumpet] 

  Queen Carlotta : You must live here in constant mortification, solely existing to bring me and my tourists moments of royal amusement! I'm not responsible for your income, your living conditions, or your personal happiness. Have I made myself perfectly clear?

  Grizelda Brown : Yes, your royal majesty.

  Queen Carlotta : And you, Mrs. Gravel, murderess?

  Peggy Gravel : You've made yourself quite clear.

  Queen Carlotta : YOUR...?

  Peggy Gravel : Your royal majesty.

  Queen Carlotta : So be it! Lieutenant Williams, take them to our ugly expert and given them a complete overhaul, and when you walk down the streets of Mortville, make sure you're dressed like what you really are -- TRASH!