User Reviews

This is one of four 1970s movies by the same writer that use the same formula: sensationalistic small-town murders solved by the local police chief against the backdrop of quirky town regulars and a light-touch love interest. They are: (1) They Only Kill Their Masters (James Garner, 1972); (2) Isn't It Shocking (Alan Alda, 1973); (3) The Girl In The Empty Grave and (4) Deadly Game (both Andy Griffith, 1977).

The first was a low-budget theatrical release; the rest made-for-TV. The stories and casts differ. The chiefs also vary ("Abel Marsh" or, with Alda badly faking a Northeastern accent, "Daniel Barnes"). So do the towns (near Vermont ("Mount Angel" near "Horse Creek") or in California ("Eden Landing" or "Jasper Lake" near "Horse Mountain")).

Griffith's are the best as pleasant, light entertainment. He and Garner are the strongest leads. Griffith's supporting casts are the weakest, Alda's the best used. The Griffith films have more energy and better use locale. But all these movies are as exasperating as entertaining. They suffer from thin, far-fetched stories, weak dialogue, slack pacing, undeveloped and exaggerated characters, and off-putting, forced attempts (often juvenile or crude) at color or humor.

The Griffith movies recycle elements from the others. Marsh cannot simply buy a sandwich; he has to keep sniffing it, as if it has gone bad. A policeman has to rib a colleague about a bill for a long-distance call to the next town, asking if she has a "sailor" or "lifeguard" there. The "county" is portrayed as greedy and stupid, wanting "electric handcuffs" or "heat-seeking, thermonuclear skateboards" for its own men but giving the locals a boat or "half a push broom" instead of the bathroom, car, chair, typewriter, or water-cooler the station needs. And we get this exchange: "You're really something. You should run for mayor." "I am the mayor." "Oh, yeah."

Griffith's Marsh is from Georgia. He wears checkered shirts. He drives jalopies -- a 57 DeSoto (his "regular car") or "a 1928-29-30-31 Model A Ford with 1935 wheels" (his "old gray truck"). He favors "vanilla pudding on whole wheat with mayo" sandwiches and banana daiquiris. He eats at "Tiny's" or "The Pit Tavern" ("It's a pity the food isn't edible"; "That isn't food they serve there. I don't know what it is. But it isn't food"; "It's the best place in town." "Lord knows that's true.") His "concrete boat" sinks in 4-foot lake water.

The writing has an annoying, repetitive style:

--"Enjoy your lunch." "I'm going to take out the boat." "You're going to take the boat to lunch?" "I'm not going to lunch." "You're not going to take the boat to lunch?";

--"There aren't any fish in this lake. Why are you fishing here?" "It's illegal in Horse Mountain." "It's posted here too, you're breaking the law." "Some law. There aren't any fish in this lake." "Then why are you fishing here?" "I told you, it's illegal in Horse Mountain.";

--"Call me Lloyd." "Lloyd?" "Yeah, please call me Lloyd. That's my name. I hate to be called Tiny. Call me Lloyd." "Okay Lloyd." "Yeah, that's my name, Lloyd.";

--"She was never born. There is no such person. Don't you see? Don't you understand? The one thing you have to do to die is to live. If she didn't live, how could she die? Of course there's nobody in that grave. Nobody died. She didn't die because she didn't live."

The "humor" is often ham-handed, silly, or crude:

--Pipsqueak, mumbling moron "Whit": we are told that he tried to steal a trailer serving as a temporary bank branch, pointlessly dragged the police boat dock to his house, stole tomatoes from a farmer's truck only to get nothing for them, and filled out $11 on the withdrawal slip of "Spiro T. Babylis" only to be discovered by the teller;

--Deputy Fred to Marsh: "You're luscious when you're mad. Your skin gets kind of magenta like a sunset in Tijuana";

--"Doc" Susan to young woman: "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.";

--Police secretary: "I haven't been 'in position' since high school.";

--Fred: "I'm a marine. I can ride a horse and love a woman." Wife: "Or is it vice versa?";

--Fred describes car: "One of those little Japanese jobs. I don't know, they all look alike to me.";

--Geezer fisherman: "Hello, Abel, spent the night alone again, huh? Ha-ha-ha.";

--During Griffith's questioning about missing file, ambulance attendants "Gilda" and "Harry" do ersatz Ropers routine: "'S' for sex." "Shut up, Gilda. 'S' for stupid, not sex. Never again." "Don't, Harry, don't, just once." "Don't touch me. I don't like being touched." "You want to go into the supply closet?" "I don't know. Do you?";

--Deputy injects locker-room-talk into discussing woman's car accident death ("Did you take her out?" "I took her in once.");

--Bank-teller "Bernice" is "swollen-up in places" and Abel may "stick a pin in" her;

--Character "hates" secretary "Maude" because she is "too hairy" and caused her to quit by telling her "to shave";

--Doc's practice is "two stirrup tables and a flashlight";

--Fran Ryan humiliatingly propositions Griffith ("You want a little home grown?...Okay then, you want to fool around?");

--Insulting subplot where woman, courted by drippy deputy, seems to "sleep around."

Empty Grave is the better mystery, with a nice plot point ("Eliminate the reason, eliminate the blackmail."). But it suffers from obnoxious guest characters and an incompetent scene where a suspect is being lured into a trap, only to have a deputy's voice blare out of a nearby speaker: "Abel, Abel, there's somebody approaching the house. Somebody is approaching the house. A guy is approaching the house. Abel, he's running away now." This leads to a near-10-minute car chase, complete with sideswiping outhouses in a field. All this when the suspect could have come up with a perfectly legitimate reason for visiting.