The Goodbye Girl (1977)

Marsha Mason: Paula McFadden

Photos 

Quotes 

• Elliot Garfield : I just met Lucy.

  Paula McFadden : What did you tell her?

  Elliot Garfield : That I was moving into the other room. She seemed to take it in stride.

  Paula McFadden : You grow up fast in this apartment. The john is right over there. I'll get the rest of her things out in the morning.

  Elliot Garfield : Would you like to stop grinding your teeth for two seconds? The noise is driving me crazy.

  Paula McFadden : A dripping stranger from Chicago with a wet beard and dirty shoes moves into my daughter's room and you expect smiles?

  Elliot Garfield : I think you're dynamite, you know that? I love listening to you talk. I hate living with you but your conversation is first class.

  Paula McFadden : This is your room. I do not clean or make beds. You may use the kitchen or the bathroom when I am not in it and wash it up when you are through. You pay for your own food, laundry, linens and phone bills. I would appreciate some quiet between six and nine as that is when Lucy does her homework and I don't care what you drink or smoke. As long as it is not grass in front of my 10 year old daughter. Now, we have everything straight?

  Elliot Garfield : No.

  Paula McFadden : No?

  Elliot Garfield : No. I'm not crazy about the arrangements.

  Paula McFadden : You're not.

  Elliot Garfield : Definitely not. I am paying the rent, I will make-a-da rules. I like to take showers every morning and I don't like the panties drying on the rod. I like to cook so I will use the kitchen whenever I damn well please and I am very particular about my condiments so, keep your salt and pepper to yourself. I also play the guitar in the middle of the night whenever I cannot sleep and I meditate every morning complete with chanting and burning incense so if you've got to walk around I'd appreciate a little tip-toeing. Also, I sleep in the nude. Au buffo. Winter and summer, rain or snow with the windows open and because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night and because I don't want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place... unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I would keep my door closed. Thems my rules and regulations, how does that grab you?

  Paula McFadden : And if I say no?

  Elliot Garfield : I've got this lawyer acquaintance downtown.

  Paula McFadden : Errr, I accept.

  Elliot Garfield : We're movin' right along.

  Paula McFadden : I don't like it and I don't think I like you.

  Elliot Garfield : Because I'm an actor?

  Paula McFadden : Coupled with your personality.

  Elliot Garfield : Well, that's probably why we were thrown together. One of God's little jests. Now if you will move your shapely little fanny out of my room I will unpack and dry my beard. Miss McFadden, you forgt to say goodnight.

  Paula McFadden : I was working on good-bye.

  Elliot Garfield : [muttering under his breath]  Unbelievable!

• Paula McFadden : I thought you said you were decent.

  Elliot Garfield : I am decent. I also happen to be naked.

• Paula McFadden : Five minutes! Leave your bags. This isn't a permanent conversation.

  Elliot Garfield : I'm dripping on your rug.

  Paula McFadden : It's been dripped on before.

  Elliot Garfield : Look, I'm sorry about this. I didn't know there were going to be any complications.

  Paula McFadden : There's a lot of that going around lately.

  Elliot Garfield : I don't blame you for being hostile. I think I get the picture. Tony rented me the apartment and split with the money, right? Then you and your daughter got dumped on.

  Paula McFadden : That is your version. My version is that Tony and I amicably end our relationship. We agreed that I would keep the apartment and you and your six hundred dollars got dumped on. Get the picture?

  Elliot Garfield : Very sharp. That's sharp. That's very sharp. You're a sharp New York girl, right?

  Paula McFadden : No, a dull Cincinnati kid, but you get dumped on enough and you start to develop an edge.

  Elliot Garfield : Okay, so what's the deal, huh? I mean, I got a lease here in my pocket. You gonna honor it, or what?

  Paula McFadden : I've got a daughter in my bed that tops a lease in your pocket.

  Elliot Garfield : Look, I don't want to get legal. Legal happens to be on my side, you know? Now I happen to have a lawyer aquaintance downtown, all I have to do is call this lawyer aquaintance of mine and...

  [hears Paula groaning] 

  Elliot Garfield : What? What?

  Paula McFadden : An actor. Another Goddamn actor. "I happen to have a lawyer aquaitance?" Right out of A Streetcar Named Desire. Stanley Kowalski in summer stock, right?

  Elliot Garfield : Wrong. Chicago in the dead of winter. Three and a half months at the Drury Lane Theater.

  Paula McFadden : Ask an actor a question and he gives you his credits.

  Elliot Garfield : You want to hear the reviews? Elliot Garfield brings to Kowalski dimentions that even Brando had not investigated?

  Paula McFadden : Terrific! You write beautifuly. Aren't you a little short to play Stanley?

  Elliot Garfield : Nobody knows that I stood on the poker table. What are you, a critic?

  Paula McFadden : No, I love actors. As long as they stay up on the stage where they belong. But you put them down in real life and the whole world gets screwed up. Well, I have had enough. I am not getting thrown out of the same lousy apartment twice. You want your money back? Go to Naples. You want this apartment? Buy me two tickets to California. Either way I will give you two minutes to think it over before I start yelling rape.

  Elliot Garfield : Jesus! You are really something you know that? Really. I'm surprised Tony didn't take a job in the Philippines.

  Paula McFadden : I hope you are thinking because I am counting.

  Elliot Garfield : Will you just wait just a second. Just... hold... hold it. Can we make a deal?

  Paula McFadden : What kind of deal?

  Elliot Garfield : I don't know. I just got here. Ha, ha. I can have a cup of coffee?

  Paula McFadden : No.

  Elliot Garfield : Oh, don't be bashful. Just say what's on your mind.

• Elliot Garfield : You knocked?

  Paula McFadden : May I speak to you in private for a moment?

  Elliot Garfield : Well, it's a bad time how about at breakfast?

  Paula McFadden : Is that a girl in there?

  Elliot Garfield : I certainly hope so.

  Paula McFadden : Not in my house. I will not put up with this sort of thing.

  Elliot Garfield : What sort of thing? You have a girl in your bedroom and I don't object. Uh, Rhonda, this is Paula McFadden. Mac lives just down the bedroom apiece. Mac, this is Rhonda Fontana a gifted and rising young actress. Don't rise.

  Rhonda Fontana : Hi.

  Paula McFadden : Hello. Can we talk? This is serious.

  Elliot Garfield : [to Rhonda]  Take a break.

  Paula McFadden : Out!

  Elliot Garfield : Out?

  Paula McFadden : Her, out! They have motels for that sort of activity. I have an impressionable 10 year old daughter in there and this is not one of the impressions I want her picking up. So you get that "rising young actress" the hell out of there.

  Elliot Garfield : Out of where? Out of my rented apartment that you are staying in out of the goodness of my heart? I will bring home anyone or anthing that I choose, including a one-eyed Episcopalian kangaroo if that happens to be my kinky inclination. As for what is going on in there we're rehearsing Act 1, Scene 4 from Richard the Third. I happen to have a cretin from Mars directing this play and I need all the help I can get. However, if I choose to attempt to have carnal knowledge of that gorgeous bod that'll be her option, my problem and none of your business! And just for the record what do you think little Lucy's impression of what was going on in Mama's bedroom with Tony "Love 'em & leave 'em" DeForrest, huh? Hey Mac! Why don't you turn out some of these lights? We're running up a heck of a bill.

• Paula McFadden : Would you be interested in my bedroom?

  Elliot Garfield : You talking to me?

  Paula McFadden : You can have the big bedroom for 50 dollars more a month, payable in cash right now. We'll move into yours in the morning.

  Elliot Garfield : Oh, you mean a rent increase for getting what I should have gotten and what I didn't get in the first place? No, thank you.

  Paula McFadden : Well then, would you be interested in lending me 50 dollars. I'll pay you either 7 and a half percent interest or do your laundry. Take your pick.

  Elliot Garfield : They really cleaned you out, huh?

  Paula McFadden : Everyone from here to Italy.

  Elliot Garfield : I've got, uh, twenty... twenty-eight dollars and change. I'll split it with you. And starting opening night I get 240 a week so I'll make a deal. I'll pay all the living expenses until you get yourself a job. And, I'll even do my own laundry.

  Paula McFadden : I see. And what do you get?

  Elliot Garfield : Oh, all you have to do is be nice to me.

  Paula McFadden : You go to hell!

  Elliot Garfield : Will you listen very, very carefully to me just for one... uh, this may be the last time I ever speak to you. Not everyone in this world is after your magnificent body, lady. In the first place it's not so magnificent. It, it's fair, alright? But it's not keeping me up nights thinking about it, you know? I don't even think you're very pretty. Maybe if you smiled once in a while okay but I don't want you to do anything against your religion. And you are not the only person in this city ever to get dumped on! I, myself, am a recent dumpee. I am a dedicated actor, Paula, you know? I am dedicated to my art and my craft, I value what I do. And because of a mentally arthritic director I am about to play the second greatest role in the history of the English speaking theater like a double order of fresh California fruit salad. When I say nice I mean nice, you know? Decent and fair. I deserve it. Because I'm a nice decent and fair person, I don't want to jump on your bones. I don't even want to see you in the morning. But I will tell you one thing I do like about you Paula. Lucy. Lucy's your best part. Lucy is worth putting up with you for. So here is 14 dollars for the care and feeding of that terrific kid. You get zippidy-do-da. You want any money? Borrow it from your 10 year old daughter. I am now going inside my room to meditate away my hostility toward you. Personally, I don't think it can be done!

• Paula McFadden : What happened to your eye?

  Elliot Garfield : I used it to stop a fist from going through my face.

• Lucy McFadden : You know what Cynthia Fine said?

  Paula McFadden : Who is Cynthia Fine?

  Lucy McFadden : The girl in my class with the braces and the big chest. Anyway, Elliot picked me up from school today, and Cynthia says he's got charisma. I looked it up, and he does.

  Paula McFadden : All right, cut it out.

  Lucy McFadden : Cut what out?

  Paula McFadden : Stop trying to make something between us.

  Lucy McFadden : Me? Cynthia Fine s...

  Paula McFadden : Cynthia Fine, my behind. Stop pushing me.

  Lucy McFadden : Who's pushing?

  Paula McFadden : You are. Your fingerprints are all over my back. He's okay, all right? Once in a while, he even acts like a regular human being, but stop pushing me because that man is not my type.

  Lucy McFadden : [mutters something under her breath] 

  Paula McFadden : I heard that. What did you say?

  Lucy McFadden : If you heard, why are you asking?

  Paula McFadden : [sternly]  What did you say?

  Lucy McFadden : I said, "Your type never hangs around long enough to stay your type".

  Paula McFadden : That is a rotten thing to say.

  Lucy McFadden : [matter of factly]  I know. I just felt like saying it.

  Paula McFadden : Jesus. Sometimes I can be so goddamn furious with you.

  Paula McFadden : [squirts Lucy with a bottle of cream] 

  Lucy McFadden : [yelling]  That was a stinking thing to do!

• Paula McFadden : Are we going to sleep with each other tonight?

  Elliot Garfield : [laughing]  You know, of all the right up front girls I know, you are the right up frontest. How do you feel about it?

  Paula McFadden : Nervous. A pushover, but nervous.

• Paula McFadden : [Elliot is playing the guitar in the middle of the night]  Do you have to play that thing at this hour?

  Elliot Garfield : I told you, it helps me to fall asleep.

  Paula McFadden : Have you ever tried pills?

  Elliot Garfield : I don't know how to play pills.

  Paula McFadden : [sigh]  It's not hard. You pop them in your mouth and swallow.

  Elliot Garfield : Mrs. McFadden, I am a person of health. I do not put unnatural things in my body. Music is one of nature's sedatives. If you would just listen to it instead of fighting it, we would all be asleep in five minutes. However, if you insist, take two sleeping pills and stick one in each ear.

  [Elliot keeps playing] 

• Elliot Garfield : [talking on phone]  I just called the 37th precinct. There is no Charles D'Agastino in Homicide. Then I called Rita Scott, an old actress friend of mine who was in "The Merchant of Venice" this year with the ever-popular Tony DeForest. Rita told me all about this girl Tony's living with. A certain Paula McFadden, a former dancer and her ten-year-old daughter Lucy. She also told me that the apartment is leased in the name of Tony DeForest. She knows this for a fact because she used to live with Tony, the smoothie, prior to Paula and Lucy. Now can we continue this conversation in a drier room, Ms. McFadden?

  Paula McFadden : You got problems? Take it up with the housing authority.

  Elliot Garfield : Don't hang up. Please, don't hang up. I don't have any more change, I'm soaked to the bone, Miss McFadden and I have a very low threshold for disease. Look, I don't know what Tony told you, but he's got my money, I got a lease, and you got the apartment. Now, one of us got screwed. Uh, let me rephrase that. We need to talk this out, and I am in no condition, financial or health-wise, to look for a hotel in the pouring rain. I mean, if there's any such thing as the 78th-street flu, I think I've got it.

  Paula McFadden : Why don't you take a shot in a convenient place?

  Elliot Garfield : Five minutes. That's all I'm asking. What is it? Now look, in about 30 seconds, we're going to get cut off, Miss McFadden. My number is 873-5261, it's a flooded booth on Amsterdam Avenue. If you have any compassion in your heart whatsoever... I'm trying to work it out, operator. Any compassion in your heart whatsoever, you'll call me back. 873-5261. That number again is 873-52... oh, shit.

• Paula McFadden : [to Lucy]  You were never four-and-a-half. You were born 26.

• Lucy McFadden : [hears Elliot chanting]  What's that?

  Paula McFadden : Sounds like God.

  Lucy McFadden : I smell strawberries burning.

  Paula McFadden : That's incense.

  Lucy McFadden : What's incense?

  Paula McFadden : It is what I'm feeling right now.

• Elliot Garfield : Haven't we met? In our apartment?

  Paula McFadden : Please, I enjoy shopping. Don't ruin this for me too.

  Elliot Garfield : Relax. We don't have to fight until we get home. We need soap, Darling.

  Paula McFadden : Not in my bathroom we don't.

  Elliot Garfield : This is silly. If you get what you need and I get what I need we're going to blow a lot of bread getting the same things. Including bread. Why don't we have one shopping list and split the bill?

  Paula McFadden : On what items?

  Elliot Garfield : Food! Bathroom and kitchen cleansers. Everything. Except male and female do-dads. In that area you go your way and I'll go mine.

  Paula McFadden : We split everything?

  Elliot Garfield : Everything. I'll pay my full one third share.

  Paula McFadden : One third?

  Elliot Garfield : I am not the one with the daughter.

  Paula McFadden : What's the matter? Didn't Lady Anne wash her hands the other night?

  Elliot Garfield : Quick. Quick. I like a quick girl. Okay, right down the middle.

  Paula McFadden : Okay.

  Elliot Garfield : Hold it. Hold it. I'll take that.

  Elliot Garfield : [Walking down the street]  This is a good idea sharing expenses like this. By the way, I need shoes next week. A little Chianti? Can't have spaghetti marinaro without a little vino.

  Paula McFadden : Not on my budget.

  Elliot Garfield : Hey, hey, no. I'll blow for the booze, eh? Short of stature but not tight of pocket.

  Liquor Store Salesman : Can I help you?

  Elliot Garfield : Yes. A bottle of your finest, cheap Chianti, please.

  Liquor Store Salesman : I've got a nice California red for a dollar eighty.

  Elliot Garfield : Dollar eighty. Nothing from Kansas?

  Liquor Store Salesman : Comedian. Seriously. This is a good wine.

  Elliot Garfield : Okay. It goes good with spaghetti, right?

  Liquor Store Salesman : Perfect with spaghetti.

• Paula McFadden : Be tactful.

  Lucy McFadden : What's that?

  Paula McFadden : Lie!

• Elliot Garfield : Alright, here is the situation.

  Paula McFadden : I know the situation.

  Elliot Garfield : Just let me say this out loud alright? I mean, I don't really believe this myself. Number one, I'm starting work in the morning and I have no place to sleep tonight. Number two, you don't have any money and you've got my apartment. Also you have your daughter to think about.

  Paula McFadden : I am thinking of her right now!

  Elliot Garfield : Do me the courtesy of hearing me out. Please? You are not the only one who can scream rape, you know?

  Paula McFadden : Ha.

  Elliot Garfield : We are both in a bind. The two of us. And I think the only practical solution is that we share the apartment.

  Paula McFadden : I accept.

  Elliot Garfield : What?

  Paula McFadden : I accept. I may be stubborn but I am not stupid.

  Elliot Garfield : You mean it?

  Paula McFadden : I have a daughter who goes to school and I have to start looking for work in the morning. You have a key. I would have to stand guard all day long to keep you out. I accept, you win, get your bags. You get the small bedroom.

  Elliot Garfield : What the hell am I getting myself into, huh?

• Paula McFadden : Is that it? Is that the last chorus?

  Elliot Garfield : I am in a blissful state, so don't bug me.

  Paula McFadden : Is this going to be a regular routine? I mean, guitars at night. Humming in the morning. I've been in musicals that didn't have this much music.

  Elliot Garfield : Miss McFadden, this morning I start rehearsals for my very first New York play. Probably the most important day of my life. Am I nervous? No, I am not nervous. Because I have meditated I am relaxed, I am calm, I am confident. You, on the other hand, have not meditated. Therefore, you are a pain in the ass.

  Paula McFadden : This happens to be a very important day for me, too. I am auditioning for a new musical this morning. I slept seventeen minutes last night thanks to you and with the bags I have under my eyes unless this musical is about little old ladies I don't stand a chance in hell. Are you listening to me?

  Elliot Garfield : Uh-huh.

  Paula McFadden : What is that slop you are putting into my dishes?

  Elliot Garfield : Granola, wheat germ, soya, lecithin, natural honey. My body is a temple, Miss McFadden and I am worshiping it. It's what gives me my energy, my vitality and my natural disposition. I'm sixty-three years old, Miss McFadden and look at me. May I fix you a bowl?

  Paula McFadden : This is not going to work. I mean, I don't know you well enough to truly dislike you but you are just too weird to live with. Why don't you find yourself another apartment and I will pay you the six hundred dollars as soon as I get a job.

  Elliot Garfield : You are forgetting that this is my apartment. You are living here on an Elliot Garfield grant. You really ought to try some of this, you know? It's got whole bran in it. My feeling is that your whole problem stems from irregularity.

• Elliot Garfield : [out on the fire escape]  Hey! I think I have a clue now as to why all those other guys left. Crackers! Animal Crackers, lady! You've got a severe case of emotional retardation. I'm not leaving Paula, I'm escaping.

  Paula McFadden : I will personally forward your mail.

  Elliot Garfield : Keep it! I'm not giving you a forwarding address.

  Paula McFadden : [to a woman on the street]  Lot of weirdos in this neighborhood.

  Elliot Garfield : But just in passing I'd like to say that last night was teriffic, okay? It was the Super Bowl of romance. I give it a fat nine on a scale of ten. You lose one point for burping your wine, but all in all, it's still a very respectable score.

  Paula McFadden : Don't you get glib about last night it was very important to me.

  Elliot Garfield : You want to lower your neurosis for just one second. I'm not finished. You want to know what your problem is?

  Paula McFadden : What?

  Elliot Garfield : You love to love someone but the minute they start taking the initiative like I did last night that scares the pants off you. Nothing off color intended. You didn't wait at any stage door me, you know? I approached first. I touched first and you can't handle that, can you.

  Paula McFadden : [to woman on street]  He is laughable. And silly! You are the silliest man I've ever met.

  Elliot Garfield : And you know that I'm right.

  Paula McFadden : If you don't let go of me, I'm going to punch your other eye out!

  Elliot Garfield : Paula, you know yourself too well to ignore what I'm saying.

  Paula McFadden : Yes, that is exactly why I am trying to ignore it.

  Elliot Garfield : You know what we got here? We got Taming of the Shrew, that's what we got here.

  Elliot Garfield : [climbing the stairs in the apartment building]  Despite the fact that you're one large pain in the arse, last night was the best thing that ever happened to me, girl-wise. And if you weren't behaving like such a horse's rectum you would know that we could be inside touching and fondling all day long until about 5 o'clock when I gotta go to rehearsal. Personally, Madam, I think you blew it.

• Lucy McFadden : How long is he going to stay?

  Paula McFadden : As long as he lets us.

• Paula McFadden : I thought you didn't put un-natural things in your body?

  Elliot Garfield : I didn't... I put it into Richard's... I'm trying to kill the son of a bitch!

• Paula McFadden : You have homework to do.

  Lucy McFadden : We're moving in four days. Do I have to do homework?

  Paula McFadden : Suppose between now and Friday they teach brain surgery. I wouldn't want you to miss it.

  Lucy McFadden : [in an exasperated tone]  Mother! We had it last week. Science.

  Paula McFadden : Are you serious?

  Lucy McFadden : Dumb! You know, you're dumb.

  Paula McFadden : [laughing]  Well, I thought maybe in frog dissection. What do I know?

• Paula McFadden : [angrily]  Good night.

  Lucy McFadden : What, no kiss?

  Paula McFadden : [punching her pillow]  I'm angry. I don't want to lose it.

• Elliot Garfield : Jesus, I am so scared. I've spent twenty years building up my ego, and when I really need it, it locks itself in the john.

  Paula McFadden : It'll come back to you, trust me.

• Paula McFadden : Possession is nine-tenths of the law.

  Lucy McFadden : What's the last tenth?

  Paula McFadden : Shut up.

  [the telephone rings] 

  Lucy McFadden : Is that the last tenth?

• Ronnie Burns : I thought you gave all of this up.

  Paula McFadden : I did. I just picked the wrong one to give it up for.

• Paula McFadden : I'm redecorating. What color should we paint the bedroom?

  Elliot Garfield : Successful.

• Paula McFadden : Oh, hi, Mrs. Crosby.

  Mrs. Crosby : You leave tonight or in the morning?

  Paula McFadden : I'm sorry, what was that?

  Mrs. Crosby : Just checking on what time you'll be vacating.

  Paula McFadden : Oh, we're not going to California. I forgot to tell you.

  Mrs. Crosby : Well I'm not the only one you forgot to tell. That apartment been sublet.

  Paula McFadden : [very confused]  Wait a minute, what do you mean? What are you talking about? We're paid up til June. We have... uh... three more months. You can't sublet it!

  Mrs. Crosby : I'm not. Your man did, honey.

  Paula McFadden : [in shock]  He sublet our apartment!

  Mrs. Crosby : He notified me last night. It was his name on the lease and he can do what he wants to. You just make sure you leave it like you found it.

  Paula McFadden : [sternly]  Well I'm not leaving it. I cleaned it and painted it and decorated it, it's mine, I don't care what he's done. I'm not getting out, do you understand me?

  Mrs. Crosby : That's not my business, hon. You can take that up with the subletee. I just don't want no trouble in my building.

  Paula McFadden : [angrily]  That bastard, that no good bastard!

  Mrs. Crosby : [in agreement]  Hm mmmmm.

• Lucy McFadden : Does this mean we're not going to California?

  Paula McFadden : [sobbing]  Yeah!

  Lucy McFadden : [Paula runs into the next room and collapses onto the bed, still weeping]  That means I have to do my homework, right?

• Lucy McFadden : [reading Tony's letter]  "I told you when we first moved in here that it was never going to be permanent. Christ, I'm not even divorced from Patty yet." Who's Patty?

  Paula McFadden : Um, I told you about her.

  Lucy McFadden : No, you didn't.

  Paula McFadden : Well, I though you'd be upset if you knew you were living with a married man.

  Lucy McFadden : I wasn't living with him. You were. I was in the next room.

• Lucy McFadden : [reading Tony's letter]  "It's six months' shooting in Spain and Italy. It's a hell of a part, Paula, and I want it. I broke my ass"...

  Paula McFadden : Ah! Give me that!

  Lucy McFadden : Ass. I've heard the word before.

• Lucy McFadden : [reading Tony's letter]  "You'll be all right. You can always go back to dancing."

  Paula McFadden : Dancing? I'm 33! I can hardly walk anymore.