- [spotting a Coast Guard helicopter]
- Skipper: I can't believe it. After fifteen years, we're finally rescued.
- Mary Ann: Rescued.
- Mrs. Howell: Rescued.
- Ginger Grant: Rescued.
- Mr. Howell: Rescued.
- Professor: Rescued.
- Gilligan: Rescued.
- Mr. Howell: Captain, can you give me one good reason why you haven't put up the sail?
- Skipper: Yes, Mr. Howell, we haven't got a sail.
- Mr. Howell: Can you give me another good reason?
- Professor: [about the tsunami] Mind you, I haven't worked out all the details.
- Mrs. Howell: I have one thing to say to you, Professor. Work out the details.
- Gilligan: [after telling the Skipper that "Star Wars" is a dirty movie] "Skipper, don't you know? R2D2 is a four-letter word!"
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: [as a helicopter shot is shown of the harbor] Ladies and gentlemen, this is Marshall Rogers, KVEX Hawaii, and this is one of the most exciting moments in the history of the Honolulu Yacht Harbor!
- [Cut to a shot of the Castaways being towed to civilization by the Coast Guard cutter, as people cheer, a band plays, and fireboats spray water in "hero's welcome" fashion]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: After 15 years on a tiny uncharted island somewhere in the Pacific, the seven castaways are finally rescued, and they're on their way back to civilization!
- [pause, then as he's shown]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: That must be Gilligan, up there on top doing the steering.
- [pause]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: Thousands of people are gathered here to welcome the passengers and crew of the ill-fated Minnow, shipwrecked so long ago! Here they come into the marina, now! Rescued in the very huts in which they lived on the island!
- [pause to show the castaways waving and to let the moment sink in, and to show Gilligan pulling the steering wheel off then putting it back on]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: Look at all the boats that turned out to greet them. And the fireboats, giving them a real hero's welcome!
- [as the huts dock, we see someone get out of a car]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: There's the Governer's aide, to give them an official welcome to Honolulu and the U.S.A.!
- [pause as the castaways exit the huts onto the dock, and the Governor's aide starts walking towards them]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: Newsmen and photographers are swarming all over the place to try to get a glimpse of the happy group missing for so many years!
- [pause]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: Look at that mob waving and cheering!
- [pause]
- Marshall Rogers, Voiceover Reporter: They've come from all parts of Hawaii to say "aloha" to the lone-lost castaways.
- [the music dies down, the crowds cheer, while each castaway gets a Lei put on them, and the Governer's aide approaches]
- [the Professor tries to stick a mast out through the roof of the cabin, but it doesn't go through]
- Skipper: What seems to be the problem, Professor?
- Professor: Well, it's not fitting for some reason.
- Gilligan: Skipper, give me a boost. I can get it.
- Skipper: All right, little buddy. Put your right foot right on my hand...
- [pushes Gilligan upward; Gilligan goes right through the roof and sticks out]
- Gilligan: I think you got me a little too high, Skipper.
- Skipper: Gilligan, come down from there this *minute*!
- Gilligan: Look out below!
- [drops down onto Skipper's shoulders; Skipper mumbles whilst trying to keep his balance; both he and Gilligan crash through the cabin's wall and collapse to the sand; Skipper grabs a thick pole; Gilligan whimpers as Skipper chases him; the Professor shakes his head]
- Gilligan: Hey, everybody! I got some good news!
- Skipper: You spotted a rescue boat!
- Gilligan: No, that'd be great news. All I got is good news. Hey, we're having broiled snapper for dinner.
- Professor: Broiled?
- Gilligan: Uh-huh.
- Skipper: How are you *cooking* it?
- Gilligan: With a fire.
- Skipper: With a fire? Where did you build a fire?
- Gilligan: On the deck.
- Skipper: On the *deck*?
- Mary Ann: Gilligan, your screams scared us half to death.
- Ginger Grant: And you ruined my dream. Paul Newman was chasing me. You could've waited till he caught me.
- Governor's Aide: Aloha. On behalf of the governor of Hawaii, may I present you with the key to the city.
- Gilligan: Oh, it must open some big door, huh?
- Governor's Aide: The entire world was thrilled when the Coast Guard radioed word of your rescue after 15 years. Telegrams and calls have been pouring in. I'd like to present you with the most important one first. This telegram is from Jimmy Carter.
- Mr. Howell: Jimmy who?
- Governor's Aide: Jimmy Carter. He's the president now. He succeeded Ford.
- Mrs. Howell: Ford who?
- Governor's Aide: Gerald Ford. He came after Watergate.
- Ginger Grant: Watergate who?
- Mary Ann: Oh, I'm afraid we've been away a long time.
- Professor: Yes, it seems that everything has changed.
- Skipper: [wading in the water] Help! Help, Skipper!
- Skipper: Why, I can hear my little buddy calling out my name like he was still here.
- Gilligan: Help, Professor!
- Professor: That's odd, now I can hear him calling me.
- Mr. Howell: That's nothing odd at all. It's the dear boy reaching out to us from the great beyond.
- Gilligan: Help, Ginger, Mary Ann!
- Mary Ann: Ginger, do you believe in ghosts?
- Ginger Grant: No, but I believe Gilligan's haunting this hut.
- Gilligan: Help, Mr. and Mrs. Howell, somebody!
- Mrs. Howell: Somebody? How informal.
- Professor: That's Gilligan, and it sounds like he's just beyond that wall.
- Skipper: [sticks his head through the wall] Little buddy, Gilligan! He's out there, everybody, and he's okay!
- Skipper: Just think what we missed during the past 15 years. Three different president, astronauts walking on the moon, and miniskirts. We even missed the miniskirts.
- Gilligan: What are miniskirts?
- Skipper: Remember when we left, women's skirts were clear down to here. While we were gone, they came up to here. Now they're back down to here again. Gilligan, we missed from here to here.
- Skipper: What's wrong, Ginger?
- Ginger Grant: Well, this is what's wrong. I've never read anything so terrible. It's full of four-letter words.
- Gilligan: Oh yeah? She's right, Skipper. You can't imagine how many four-letter words. When, this, from, both, like, all four-letter words. Where, that's a five-letter word.
- Skipper: Gilligan, I don't think *those* words are what are bothering her.
- Gilligan: There's a lot of words in here I don't understand what they mean. Look at this one, it starts with a...
- Skipper: Never mind, Gilligan.
- Ginger Grant: Gilligan, there was no nudity or dirty words in Star Wars.
- Gilligan: How 'bout Jaws? That big shark goin' around, da dum, da dum mmm.
- Ginger Grant: Nothing dirty about that picture, either.
- Gilligan: How about Julia?
- Ginger Grant: No nudes, no dirty words.
- Gilligan: Ah Professor, is that one of your experiments?
- Professor: Yes. But it starts over there, Gilligan.
- Gilligan: Oh wow, Professor, look at all this stuff. I mean, how do you do all that?
- [knocks over the science set]
- Skipper: Gilligan!
- Gilligan: Sorry, Professor.
- Professor: Oh that's all right, Gilligan. That's not part of my experiment. You see, I was expecting you today, so I set that up especially for you.
- Gilligan: Well thanks, Professor.
- Skipper: well were going to get togther at christmas for a big reunion but untill then it looks like were all going to go our sepreate ways.
- Mr. Howell: we dont like the way you were talking about oyr freinds the deal is off get out of our house
- Skipper: Hi, there, Gilligan. Give me a hand with this trap, will you?
- Gilligan: Mum.
- Skipper: "Mum" what?
- Gilligan: Mum's the word.
- Skipper: About what?
- Gilligan: [scoffs] If I told you, it wouldn't be mum.
- Skipper: Who told you to keep it mum?
- Gilligan: The Professor.
- Skipper: The Professor? If the Professor told you to keep it mum, it must be serious. *Is* it serious?
- Gilligan: Mum.
- Skipper: Very serious?
- Gilligan: Mum, mum.
- Skipper: Very, *very* serious?
- Gilligan: Mum, mum, mum.
- Skipper: Are our *lives* at stake?
- Gilligan: Mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum!
- Skipper: Gosh, I gotta find out about this!
- [runs away from Gilligan]
- Gilligan: Remember, I didn't tell you anything! I kept it mum!