Love at First Bite (1979)
Arte Johnson: Renfield
Photos
Quotes
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Renfield : I thought you were having fun.
Count Dracula : Fun? How would you like to go around looking like a head waiter for 700 years?
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Commissare Woman : Either you spend the rest of your life in an efficiency apartment with seven dissidents and one toilet, or you gather your aristocratic shit together and split!
[storms out]
Count Dracula : Renfield.
Renfield : Yes, master.
Count Dracula : What is an efficiency apartment?
Renfield : I don't know, master. What's a toilet?
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Renfield : I think they're from the government.
Count Dracula : How do you know?
Renfield : They're wearing shoes.
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Count Dracula : We're going to make a hoist.
Renfield : Heist!
Count Dracula : [frustrated] Heist! Heist, heist.
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[Renfield opens a refrigerator at the blood bank that's stocked with units of blood]
Renfield : Master! We hit the jackpot!
Count Dracula : Only in America! Plastic disposable bodies! It's like a supermarket!
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Cindy Sondheim : [to Renfield] Why did you tell him that?
Dr. Jeffrey Rosenberg : Because the bad guys always tell the good guys what they're going to do just before they try to kill them.
Renfield : He's absolutely right, Miss Cindy, that's part of the rules. But in this case, WE are the good guys.
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Renfield : Master, please be careful!
Count Dracula : What is it?
Renfield : You nearly stepped on my dinner!
[a black beetle]
Count Dracula : Forgive me. Bon appetit!
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Stewardess : Pardon me. Would you like chicken Kiev, Chateaubriand or veal cutlet Florentine for lunch?
Renfield : Everything you mentioned is dead. Don't you have anything that's alive and kicking?
Lady on plane with Cat : [scoffs at Renfield] I'll have the chicken Kiev, miss. Oh, why don't you bring a nice juicy mouse for little Salome here?
Renfield : Could I have one, too?
[the lady laughs and Renfield laughs with her]
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[Renfield and the Count drive up to a blood bank in a hearse]
Count Dracula : You did real well, Renfield.
Renfield : Thank you, Master.
Count Dracula : A combination getaway car and mobile home!
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Renfield : You have 30 seconds to tell me where Miss Sondheim is, or...
Cindy's Modeling Agent : Or what? You'll eat your lunch in my office?
Renfield : No-o-o, my lunch will eat you.
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[to Dracula and Renfield]
Nurse at Bloodbank : If you two freaks don't get out of here, I AM GOING TO SCREAM MY HEAD OFF!
Renfield : If you scream loudly, they'll think you where frightened by a mouse.
[Renfield places a live mouse above the opening in the nurse's blouse - the nurse screams and runs out of the room. Renfield laughs]
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Renfield : [emptying the blood bank's refrigerator of all its blood bags] Master, it will be wonderful at the reception when you marry Miss Cindy!
[sings]
Renfield : Oooh, how they danced, on the night, that they bled...
Count Dracula : [holding up a test tube full of blood] I propose a toast. Here's blood in your eye!