The Plumber (1979 TV Movie)

Judy Morris: Jill Cowper

Photos 

Quotes 

• Max : I'm not really a plumber, you know... I'm actually a folk singer.

  Jill Cowper : [Gives a scoffing laugh]  A *folk singer*?

  Max : What's funny about that?

• Max : I was just gonna' say, you've got problems. Whoever did the pipes in this block oughta' be shot. It's a wonder the place hasn't flooded!

  Jill Cowper : Well, what's wrong with them, exactly?

  Max : Well, your pipes - if you'll pardon the expression - are buggered.

• Max : Some people treat you like a real peasant. You're just a mere tradesman. You know? Some people still have the sign on the gate, "Tradesman's Entrance." Talk about discrimination against the blacks! They're still allowed to flog those signs in hardware shops.

  Jill Cowper : Aw, come on, no one thinks that any more.

  Max : You'd be surprised.

• Max : You haven't been here long, have you?

  Jill Cowper : Three months.

  Max : From Melbourne?

  Jill Cowper : Yes.

  Max : Geez, I hate Melbourne.

  Jill Cowper : I don't like Adelaide much.

  Max : Oh, fair enough.

• Max : They're big time promoters; well, pretty big, anyway. And they heard my stuff and dug it. But, they want me to go commercial! See, I'm a lyrics man, angry at society and all that. Bob Dylan, you know. They just don't want that.

  Jill Cowper : I had heard that Dylan is still doing pretty well.

  Max : Aw, the kids today don't listen to lyrics. See, people like Dylan and Jagger, they haven't sold out. And they've helped a lot of people work it all out. People everywhere!

• Max : People booted into prison because they don't fit in. Jesus. Kids - left in stinking cages like animals.

  Jill Cowper : How do Dylan and Jagger help people in prison?

  Max : By telling them how it is, man! How society screwed it up! Through the lyrics.

• Jill Cowper : Come in, Meg. This is Max. He's been working on our pipes.

  Meg : Has he just?

• Anna , Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : Ommmmmm...

  Anna : Feel it! Feel it. Space. Air. I am.

  Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : I am.

  Anna : Space.

  Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : Space.

  Anna : Tree.

  Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : Tree.

  Anna : In thee.

  Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : In thee.

  Anna : No pain. No fear.

  Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : No pain. No fear.

  Anna : I am me.

  Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : I am me.

  Anna : Oneness.

  Jill Cowper , Meg , Yoga Class : Oneness.

  Anna : Thank you ladies. Please take afternoon juice. Rented leotards to be handed in.

• Jill Cowper : I could never get my mind blank. I kept seeing that plumber's face.

  Meg : Did he make a pass at you or something?

  Jill Cowper : No. I was just remembering how I let him in yesterday. Just because he said he was the plumber! It's funny letting a complete stranger in your house.

  Meg : A man, you mean.

  Jill Cowper : Right! When you open the door and in the back of your mind there's always that fear.

  Meg : What fear? Rape?

  Jill Cowper : Yeah, that's part of it.

  Meg : Yeah. but you got to admit, if you get a really spunky guy working around your house all day, it can be kind of a turn on. Even if you don't admit it. You should have seen the guys that worked on my pool in Sydney. Oh! Stripped to the waste - all day. I mean, I was really cool with them, I can assure you. They thought I was a proper bitch.

• Jill Cowper : He's a bully! He's a perv! I'm sure he saw me changing this afternoon.

• Jill Cowper : Bloody plumber!

• Jill Cowper : I did a bathroom. Not, I done.

• Meg : He's really very sweet.

  Jill Cowper : He's really very cunning.

• Jill Cowper : I'm going to get you out of my flat.

  Max : Your flat? Listen, these flats belong to the taxpayers. This building belongs to me, just as much you. Educated people think you inherited the bloody earth! Well, I know my rights!

• Jill Cowper : No! Not the plumber! No! Not the plumber! No!

• Max : [Multiple pipes have burst, flooding the Cowper's bathroom]  We meet again, eh?

  Jill Cowper : How long this time?

  Max : A week, ten days... maybe longer. Who knows? Tricky job, this. We're just going to have to learn to get along with each other. Aren't we?

• Jill Cowper : I've got ice cream to follow.

  Dr. Japari : Ah, very logical.

  Dr. Matu : I'm afraid I don't do the ice cream.

  Dr. Don Felder : Dr. Matu spent three years studying the components of ice cream. The results are quite frightening. Plastic. That's what it is, basically. Plastic.

  Jill Cowper : You were on an ice cream grant?

  Dr. Matu : I beg your pardon?

  Dr. Don Felder : Doctors are such killjoys.

• Jill Cowper : Do you get to ski at all in Switzerland?

  Dr. Don Felder : My wife gets to ski. You know what I mean? I work, she skis.

• Brian Cowper : We did it! We did it. We did it. We did it.

  Jill Cowper : What are you talking about?

  Brian Cowper : Geneva! The whole thing. They told me at the airport. Can you believe it?

  Jill Cowper : Wow, what happened?

  Brian Cowper : Last night, that's what happened. Collapsing bathroom and cognac.