Time Bandits (1981)
Ian Holm: Napoleon
Photos
Quotes
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Napoleon : Little things hitting each other. THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!
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Napoleon : They are all freaks! Not one of them under five foot six. What kind of theater is this?
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Napoleon : Don't stand so close to me, Neguy! I've told you about that before. You on one side and him on the other - it's like being on the bottom of a bloody well!
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Napoleon : [to the Bandits] You are the best thing to happen to me since this whole campaign. You know I come here to conquor Italy, because I thought they were all small. You know, I hear they was really tiny guys...
Neguy : Sir, I really think there are more important thing...
Napoleon : SHUT UP! Don't you dare to tell me my business. You are dismissed, you hear? You, Lucien, the rest of you. Great streaks of misery.
Lucien : But, Sir...
Napoleon : NO! I'm going to have some new generals for a bit.
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Napoleon : Encore! Encore!
Theatre Manager : Thank you. Thank you very much. Uh, I wonder if you would like to see some of our... Other items. We have Zuzu and Benny!
[Curtain rises]
Theatre Manager : Fun on a unicycle.
[Napoleon looks displeased]
Theatre Manager : No? Uh, how about, uh, The Great Rambozo! He sing and lift heavy things.
[Napoleon still looks displeased]
Theatre Manager : No? Uh, how about, uh... Ah, this I think you'll like. Very funny. The Three Idiots! From Latvia. Very funny act. They swallow brushes.
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Napoleon : Alexander the Great, five feet eight exactly. Isn't that incredible! I mean, Alexander the Great, who's empire stretched from India to Hungary, one inch shorter than me. Oliver Cromwell, the only man with any guts in British history, wasn't a big man at all. Louis XIV, five foot two and a half. Charlamagne, dopey little five footer! He's a good little chum. Attila the Hun, five foot one half. Cyrano de Bergerac, five foot three half. Tamburlaine the Great, four foot nine - and three-quarters.
