The Great Muppet Caper (1981)

Jack Warden: Mike Tarkanian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Fozzie : [pleading]  We'll do better next time.

  News Editor : Next time? Next time!

  [pounds fist into desk] 

  News Editor : What makes you think there's gonna be a next time?

  Kermit : Well, if there isn't it's gonna be a real short movie.

• Gonzo : Stop the presses!

  News Editor : Why? What happened?

  Gonzo : I don't know. I just always wanted to say that.

• News Editor : Did you read these headlines? Huh?

  [reads newspaper] 

  News Editor : "JEWEL HEIST ON MAIN STREET!" And it's nice bold print, isn't it?

  Kermit : Yes, it's very easy to read.

  News Editor : Shut up now.

  Kermit : [sheepish]  Sorry.

  News Editor : "Lady Holiday's Jewels Stolen," that's what it says in The Times. And here's The Herald, "Fashion Queen Of London Robbed." And last, but not least

  [chuckles] 

  News Editor : here's our cute little banner story, "Identical Twins Join The Chronicle Staff." Now I ask you, which would you buy?

  Fozzie : I read the one that has "Dear Abby".

  News Editor : OH!

  [News Editor pounds fist into desk in frustration, causing Gonzo to jump with fright up to a light fixture] 

• News Editor : How could you miss a story like *that?* It was right under your noses, practically bit you on the seat of your pants! There's just no excuse!

  Fozzie : I guess this would be a bad time to ask for a raise?

  News Editor : A *raise?* A *RAISE?* Oh, I'll give you a raise, all right!

  [Bangs his desk, sending them all flying] 

• Kermit : Gee, Mr. Tarkanian. We thought identical twins working on a newspaper would make an interesting story.

  Fozzie : Yeah.

  News Editor : Well, it doesn't. Especially since you two guys don't look anything alike!

  Kermit : Well, that's 'cause Fozzie's not wearing his hat. Oh, Fozzie, put your hat back on.

  Fozzie : Oh. Yes, sir.

  [Fozzie puts his hat on] 

  Fozzie : See?

  News Editor : [looks at them carefully]  Oh, yeahhhh. I can see it now.