Private Lessons (1981)

Eric Brown: Philly

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Quotes 

• Sherman : Who the hell takes baths with other people, except for the Japanese, I mean. Have you heard of any?

  Philly : No. Nobody except the Japanese.

• Sherman : Did you touch 'em?

  Philly : What?

  Sherman : Her knockers! Did you touch them?

  Philly : Well, sort of.

  Sherman : What do you mean, sort of? Did you or didn't you?

  Philly : Well, eh, not with my hands, with my elbows.

  Sherman : Doesn't that get broads hot? Touching their knockers, even with your elbows?

  Philly : I don't know?

• Philly : Lots of people take baths with other people.

  Sherman : Who?

  Philly : The Japanese! You said so yourself. Maybe she's part Japanese?

• Philly : Listen, eh, are we going to, eh, you know?

  Mallow : Would you like to?

  Philly : [Shakes his head yes]  Except for one thing.

  Mallow : What?

  Philly : Um, well, I really don't know how.

  Mallow : Well, I might be able to show you.

• Philly : I'd just like to say one thing before we start.

  Mallow : What?

  Philly : Um, that I respect you. I don't think that you're a whore or anything like that.

  Mallow : That's very sweet of you Philly.

• Sherman : You what? You asked her to marry you? What are you sick?

  Philly : Yeah, I know, I should have played cool. I should have strung her along for awhile. That's the way you have to treat women.

• Mallow : He threatened to tell Immigration that I was working here illegally.

  Philly : Big deal.

  Mallow : I was a big deal for me. I could have been deported!

• Philly : If you're gonna get a new job, you're gonna have to have a letter of reference, from my father.

  Mallow : Well, your father might not think I've been working long enough.

  Philly : I didn't mean for him to write it. But, I know what he'd say if he knew you as well as I do: She was passionate about her household duties.

  Mallow : And she kept things well in hand!

  Philly : She gave everything she had to her employer.

• Mallow : Would you like to join me?

  Philly : Would I like to what?

  Mallow : Take a bath with me.

  Philly : You mean, in there? With you? Right now?

  Mallow : Why don't you try it. Maybe you'll like it.

  Philly : Well, eh, I probably wouldn't even fit in there.

  Mallow : Oh, yes you would! I promise.

  Philly : You mean you want me to take off all my clothes and everything?

  Mallow : Do you usually wear them when you take a bath?

  Philly : No, not usually.

  Mallow : Oh, come on, Philly. I won't even look.

  Philly : I-I don't know.

  Mallow : Come on, it will be an adventure!

  Philly : Well, alright.

  Mallow : Good.