Night Shift (1982)

Henry Winkler: Chuck Lumley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chuck Lumley : As we sit here and idly chat, there are woman, female human beings, rolling around in strange beds with strange men, and we are making money from that.

  Bill Blazejowski : Is this a great country, or what?

• Bill : You tellin' me to shut up?

  Chuck : I'm telling you to shut up! I will tell your recorder so that you don't forget!

  [Chuck picks up tape recorder and turns it on] 

  Chuck : Hello, this is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!

• Bill Blazejowski : [picking up photo from desk]  Hey Chuck? Who is this? Your wife?

  Chuck Lumley : Fiancée.

  Bill Blazejowski : Nice frame!

• Belinda Keaton : Franklin once told me that he wanted to be buried in his car.

  Chuck Lumley : We don't do that.

  Belinda Keaton : Oh.

  Chuck Lumley : You'll probably have to call the funeral home or the department of motor vehicles.

• Belinda Keaton : Bill, Bill, are you all right? Did you break anything, Bill?

  Bill Blazejowski : I caught an updraft.

  Chuck Lumley : Are you ok?

  Bill : Yeah, I'm all right, don't worry, I'm all right, fortunately the ground broke my fall.

• Bill : [points to morgue cold chambers]  What's in here, just stiffs and stuff?

  Chuck : Uh, no, we call them "corpses."

  Bill : Can I take a peek?

  Chuck : Sure.

  Bill : All right!

  Chuck : I think there's one in #7.

  Bill : Hey, this Carboni guy! What's he, like, our boss or what?

  Chuck : No, no, he's the supervisor. He's not here at night.

  Bill : Nuh-uh! Get outta town! Just you and me and the stiffs alone? Here? That's gonna be radical, Chuck!

  [Chuck opens morgue drawer] 

  Bill : That guy's dead!

• Bill : Wait a minute. Hold the phone, Chuck. We got all that space down at the morgue. All those cars. All that time at night. Nobody watching us. We could handle things for your next door neighbor and all of her girl friends right out of the morgue!

  Chuck : Pimps? Are you saying we should become pimps?

  Bill : Pimps is an ugly word. We could call ourselves "love brokers".

• Chuck : Did you ever see the movie "Klute"?

  Belinda Keaton : What?

  Chuck : The movie with Jane Fonda; "Klute".

  Belinda Keaton : No, I don't think so.

  Chuck : She plays a call girl, and she's with this guy, a customer. And they're doing it, and she's screaming and moaning as if its like the end of the world for her. And then right in the middle, when the guy's not looking, she looks at her watch. And you just know it's an act.

  Belinda Keaton : Hey, I don't wear a watch.

  [kiss] 

• Chuck : Why do you listen to my mother? This is the same woman who goes to a seance every Friday night since my father died just so she can still yell at him.

• Bill : [Chuck is spitting on himself in the jail cell]  Chuck, come on - it looks bad in front of the other guys!

  Chuck Lumley : So what am I running for, cell president?

  Bill : No!... they have that?

• Chuck Lumley : [reads the forms that Lenoard, the day shift guy left]  Name of the deceased... something Polish?

• Chuck : I used to be an investment counselor.

  Bill : Yeah?

  [pause] 

  Bill : What's that?

  Chuck : It's like a stockbroker.

  Bill : So what're you doing babysitting stiffs? What were you... drinker? Big drinker?

  Chuck : No!

  Bill : Doper! Toothead! Nose candy! Coke!

• Charlotte Koogle : [in bed]  Are you excited?

  Chuck : Like the French when Lindbergh landed.

  Charlotte Koogle : Am I fat?

  Chuck : Huh?

  Charlotte Koogle : Am I fat?

  Chuck : You're a willow. You're a reed. You're Audrey Hepburn!

• Chuck : Can you turn down the music?

  Bill : Huh?

  Chuck : Can you turn the music down?

  Bill : Yeah! I can turn it down, I can turn it up. I can switch it to the back seat and the front. I can make it reverberate.

• Belinda Keaton : I have to talk to you.

  Chuck : What about?

  Belinda Keaton : About this.

  [long kiss] 

  Chuck : You're a very good talker.

  [long kiss] 

  Belinda Keaton : Mmm. Mmm.

  [panting] 

  Belinda Keaton : Chuck...

  Chuck : Huh?

  Belinda Keaton : The zipper's on the side, honey.

  Chuck : The side?

• Chuck : Are you okay?

  Bill : Yeah, I'm all right. No, don't worry. I'm all right. I'm all right. Fortunately, the ground broke my fall.

• Chuck : [elevator door opens; Chuck sees Belinda lying on the elevator floor]  Oh my God. Did you fall down? Did somebody hit you?

  Belinda Keaton : Other way round. Somebody hit me and then I fell down.

• Carl : Where the fuck is 4-K?

  Chuck : What?

  Carl : I'm sorry, I didn't know you was deaf! 4-K!

• Chuck : See, you let too many things bother you. That way, you'll never have an orgas...

  Charlotte Koogle : [covers Chuck's mouth]  Don't you say that word!

• Chuck : When did you get fully dressed?

  Charlotte Koogle : It wasn't going to be any good tonight anyway. I feel so guilty! I cheated today.

  Chuck : You're kidding.

  Charlotte Koogle : I had a Nestle's Crunch Bar.

• Chuck : It's a sick world.

  Belinda Keaton : Yeah, thank God.

• Bill : What's the matter?

  Chuck : Ever since we started this I have been in hell. I have headaches, stomachaches. I get the chills. My gums are bleeding and my hair keeps falling out into the sink.

  Bill : So?

• Belinda Keaton : Everybody's lookin' for a new way to do it. A guy once took me up in a helicopter... had me do it with him as we hovered over his ex-wife's house.

  Chuck : No.

  Belinda Keaton : Yeah! Don't you ever fantasize different ways you wanna do it?

• Chuck : I can't get over the fact that you didn't quit.

  Belinda Keaton : Right! I didn't quit! Did you quit?

  Chuck : I'm not a whore!

  Belinda Keaton : No, you're a pimp.

• Cleon : We're angry. We're insulted.

  Pig : Besides, wouldn't be right to let you live after we killed Franklin. He was our friend.

  Chuck : I'd like to be your friend. Please, God! Let me be your friend...

• Chuck : That's great. That's great. You get me in jail with Peter Lorre's son.

• Chuck : "Oh, come on. We have to be pimps. Let's be pimps."

  Bill : We couldn't be doctors! We were rolling there for a while though. Cash, clothes. I'll tell you somethin', Chuck. You couldn't do what we did in Russia. You know? Seriously.

• Charlotte Koogle : Chuck. Chuck!

  Chuck : Charlotte, I thought you were in Indiana. My mom called. And you flew all the way back here. I thought for sure when you found out what I was doing, you'd just hate me. No, not you. You came to be by my side. You are one in a million.

  Charlotte Koogle : [spits in Chuck's face]  Goodbye, Chuck.

• Chuck : Here's an idea: Get a ticket on the first space shuttle and get out of here!

• Chuck : He's not a towel boy. He's an idea man!

  Manetti : He couldn't find his asshole with a funnel.

• [last lines] 

  Bill : I'm cold!

  [Chuck gives Bill his jacket] 

  Bill : Hey, Chuck, here you go. Microwave clothing. Listen to this!

  Chuck : Yeah?

  Bill : That way you can stay warm and bake a potato in your pants.

  Chuck : I think you can do better than that.

  Belinda Keaton : Baked potato. I could kill for a baked potato.

  Bill : Let's eat!

• Bill Blazejowski : [Pulling tissues out of his sleeves]  We don't want our girls being roughed up by those animals, so if we run into them I want to show them some muscles.

  Chuck Lumley : [picks up some tissues]  And these are them?

• Chuck : They get angry if you complain. You know, that's all right. The chef has a lot on his mind.

  Bill : Like what, curing cancer?

• Chuck : [angrily, to Bill]  You're gonna play tennis... with GOD!

• Chuck : He used to have the smallest stone in the whole place. Not anymore.