Curse of the Pink Panther (1983)

Ted Wass: Sergeant Clifton Sleigh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Valencia Police Chief : Is that Slay as in to kill?

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : No. That's Sleigh as in one horse open.

• Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : [offering photograph]  Do you know this man?

  Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau : No! I have never seen this person ever in my life! Never!

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : It's Inspector Clouseau.

  Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau : *Chief* Inspector.

  Countess Chandra : *That's* Inspector Clouseau.

  Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau : *Chief* Inspector!

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : You know him?

  Countess Chandra : Yes!

  Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau : What?

• Taxi Driver : Damn! Who the hell is trying to kill you?

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : I don't know!

  Taxi Driver : [Scene cuts briefly to car chase]  Maybe they're trying to kill me. Who would want to kill me? No, no, no it couldn't be my wife, she doesn't drive.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Well, whoever it is you gotta try an' lose 'em.

  Taxi Driver : When somebody's shooting at you, you gotta do better than trying.

• Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau : By the way, we have not been properly introduced. You of course know who I am.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Sergeant Sleigh.

  Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau : No, I am not Sergeant Sleigh.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : No, 'I'm' Sergeant Sleigh.

  Chief Insp. Jacques Clouseau : Oh yes! Now we are getting somewhere.

• Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Don't worry about a thing. I got these guys right where I want them.

  Juleta Shane (AKA Julie Morgan) : Look out!

  [he blocks a punch with a garbage can lid stuck to his hand and, taking a swing, accidentally hits Juleta] 

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Oh, no! Oh, now I'm mad.

  [two thugs grab him and ram him headfirst into a steel door] 

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Now I'm hurt.

• Lt. Palmyra : Not only did you screw up the stakeout, but another little old lady was mugged. And to make matters worse, we're the laughingstock of the whole 28th precinct. And by the time those crumbs get through spreading it around town, we'll be the laughingstock of the whole god damn New York City police force.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : With all due respect, I...

  Lt. Palmyra : What respect? What do you know about respect? You sure as hell don't respect me.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Oh, yes, I do.

  Lt. Palmyra : I got an ulcer, I'm losing my hair, and you're driving me straight to the funny farm! You call that respect?

• Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : [seeing Bruno and one of his thugs grab Julie]  I'm coming!

  [two other thugs grab him and throw him backwards] 

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : I'm going!

• Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Do you know what this opportunity means to me? I'm a third-generation police officer. My grandfather and my father were captains.

  Chief Insp. Charles LaRousse Dreyfus : Mm, your family must be very proud of you.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : They still can't believe it.

  Chief Insp. Charles LaRousse Dreyfus : Neither can I.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Me, out of all those millions. My grandfather tells everyone it's a practical joke.

  Chief Insp. Charles LaRousse Dreyfus : [stifling a giggle]  I'm sorry.

• Cato Fong : Allow me to introduce myself. I am Cato.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : I thought you said your name was Sumo, and that Cato was in South America.

  Cato Fong : Oh, only where Professor Balls is concerned. Inspector Clouseau disappeared owing the professor 4,000 francs. And he keeps threatening to close down the museum and take back all his disguises. I'd give him something on account, but I only make enough to pay the utilities and keep myself and Yin-Gow San.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : I don't believe I know the dish.

  Cato Fong : It's my girlfriend.

• Cato Fong : I'm sorry I attacked you.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Oh. You thought I was from the collection agency.

  Cato Fong : No, I know who you are. And I was hoping I could beat you up so badly, you might give up trying to find Inspector Clouseau.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Oh? Why don't you want me to find him?

  Cato Fong : Because he used to beat me up so badly, I kept wishing he would disappear.

• Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : What happened tonight was not entirely my fault.

  Lt. Palmyra : Three years on the police force, you don't know how to handle a common drunk?

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : You had to be there.

  Lt. Palmyra : Sleigh... if it wasn't for the fact that you're a third-generation police officer, and that your father was not only my captain but my daughter's godfather, and a close personal friend of nearly twenty years, I'd have you back doing guard duty at the public library!

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : I request no special attention because of my family.

  Lt. Palmyra : Don't tell me what you request! I owe your old man! Your grandfather talked me into being a cop! He used to walk the toughest beat in Boston, all he carried was a rolled-up newspaper!

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : He still carries it.

• Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : If I succeed, then I've proved once and for all that I'm a credit to the force, that I'm a Sleigh.

  Chief Insp. Charles LaRousse Dreyfus : Well, credit to the force, where do you go from here?

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Well, since Inspector Clouseau disappeared while investigating the theft of the Pink Panther, I thought I'd visit the scene of the crime.

  Chief Insp. Charles LaRousse Dreyfus : Then you're off to Lugash.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : I leave on the next plane.

  Chief Insp. Charles LaRousse Dreyfus : You leave? Good. I-I mean good luck.

• Lt. Palmyra : Sleigh, until this came, I was a desperate man faced with two choices: retirement or murdering you.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Gee, I don't know what to say.

  Lt. Palmyra : Fortunately, you don't have to say anything. The police commissioner said it for both of us. Congratulations, Sleigh. You're assigned to special duty with the Sûreté.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Sûreté? Me? Paris, France? There must be some mistake.

  Lt. Palmyra : Oh, undoubtedly.

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : I trust you'll bring this error to the commissioner's attention.

  Lt. Palmyra : I considered it. But then I remembered the immortal words of Theodore Doppler, the Cousebay Strangler whose death sentence was commuted two minutes before they pulled the switch. "Never look a gift horse in the mouth."

  [opening his office door] 

  Lt. Palmyra : Bon voyage, Sleigh. Bon voyage.

• Prof. Auguste Balls : [In reference to Cunny]  He can whip you up a very nice suit with two pairs of pants while you wait; what do you say?

  Sergeant Clifton Sleigh : Uh... no, you see I'm investigating...

  Prof. Auguste Balls : Of course you're investigating! You're a policeman. I knew that the moment you walked into my emporium: Your courage, your alertness, the way your eyes take in everything. I immediately said to myself "Balls, this is a policeman's policeman."

  [Begins taking Sleigh's measurements]