Easy Money (1983)

Rodney Dangerfield: Monty Capuletti

Photos 

Quotes 

• Saleslady : May I help you

  Monty : No, we're just browsing

  Saleslady : How long do you intend to browse

  Monty : that lady over there, You didn't ask her how long she's going to browse.

  Saleslady : You don't look like browsers

  Nicky : Yeah, what do browsers look like.

  Monty : Yeah, maybe I'm half browser.

  Nicky : Yeah, on his mother's side.

• Monty : My mother-in-law, for years I wouldn't kiss her face; I end up kissing her ass.

• Monty : [about his Mother-In-Law]  She says I drink too much, I smoke too much, I gamble. I mean she's right, but what can I do? I got no... what's the word...

  Nicky : Class.

• Dr. Vindaldo : [In the hospital room, commenting on Monty's bullet wound in his rear end]  He was hit in the fleshy area of the gluteus maximus...

  Monty : Ah, you're wrong! He got me in the ass!

• Mrs. Monahan : You pollute the air with your smoking. You reek of liquor and god knows what else. You're an ecological menace!

  Monty : Yeah, well you were the inspiration for twin beds!

• Blanche Genaro : Look at him, he's such a beautiful boy! He's got my eyes!

  John Genaro : And he's got my nose!

  Monty : Yeah, and my sympathy.

• Monty : Good stuff!

  Nicky : It oughta be... I got it off a cop.

• Blanche Genaro : [During the photo shoot of Anthony the fat little kid on the rocking horse]  We want some wallet size pictures too.

  Monty : This kid wouldn't fit in a wallet size

• Monty : [Nicky and Monty while browsing in Monahan's Antique shop]  Hey. what do they got in here? Antiques?

  Nicky : [seeing a quite elderly patron]  No, those are the customers.

• Monty : [During the photo shoot of Anthony the fat little kid on the rocking horse. He's out of control hitting Monty with a rubber bat, screaming and yelling]  I'm tired of telling you the same thing. Kid ya gotta stay quiet... quiet now. Talk to him will ya. Be quiet will ya? Blanche, John, Grandma talk to him will ya? Stay quiet! Be quiet will ya... somebody will ya shut the fat little bastard up!

• Monty : [Addressing the stuffy saleslady in the Monahan's antique shop, the "Odds and Ends" department.]  Hey lady, if I buy two Odds will you show us your End?

• fat anthony's grand mother : Montey, did you ever see a face like this.

  Monty : No. If I did I'd remember it.

• Belinda Capuletti : Someday I'll be out of you're life.

  Monty : Yeah, well for now get out of the bathroom.

• Monty : [Discovers a neighbor is letting his Doberman crap in Monty's yard]  Hey, King! Not here! Not here! Why don't you take him on your property, huh?

  Bill Jones : Hey take it easy. You interrupt King's business, he get's very upset.

  Monty : Yeah, what makes you think I want to inherit the business?

• Nicky : Do you have any mens shirts for men?

  Monahan's Clerk : Have you tried the Army/Navy store?

  Monty : Ha ha ha very funny. One more word outta you and he gets it all right

  [pointing to the bald manikin] 

  Monty : Why dont you two put your heads together and make an ass outta yourselves.

  [refering to the manikin again] 

• Monty : [Nicky and Monty while browsing in Monahan's Antique shop. Monty picks a sculpture of a couple of flying ducks]  Hey... ducks in heat.

• Monty : Yeah, well you where the inspiration for twin beds.

• Monty : [after putting a six tier wedding cake in the back of Nicky's van]  It's not going to bounce around in there is it?

  Nicky : No, I got it wedged against the toilet.

• Monty : Nicky, just in time.

  Monty : I didn't want to see her fucking face.

  Monty : Mother.

• Allison Capuletti : [as Monty is walking her down the aisle during her wedding ceremony]  He's everything I ever wanted.

  Monty : You don't ask for much do you?

• Rose Capuletti : All I ever wanted was a happy family. That's all I ever asked for: a happy family. A family that loved each other. I never cared about anything else!

  Monty : Stop it, will ya'? I can't take it no more!

  Monty : [continues, looking frustrated and upset]  Money caused all this. I don't wanna' be rich. We're not *supposed* to be rich. We don't look rich. We don't talk rich. We don't smell rich. No more rich!

• Monty : I didn't even eat... I gotta take out the garbage!

• Monty Capuletti : Rose, there's a Messerschmitt in the kitchen. Clean it up will ya?

• Monty Capuletti : Closest we came to food... .we almost hit a deer.

• Nicky : Ho! can sombody help us here?

  Man behind the counter at Monahans : [bald man pops up from behind the counter]  I dont think so

  Monty : [talking to the bald manikin]  I tell you my friend here

  [stops and looks at the man behind the counter] 

  Monty : I tell you my friend here is looking for a shirt.

  Nicky : Yeah something in a dark black?

• fat anthony's grand mother : [During the photo shoot of Anthony the fat little kid on the rocking horse]  Did you ever see a face like that before?

  Monty : No, if I did I'd remember it.