Micki + Maude (1984)

Dudley Moore: Rob Salinger

Photos 

Quotes 

• Maude Salinger : [at the wrestling match]  Come on, Gorilla, kill that son of a bitch!

  Rob Salinger : Gorilla Muldoon, is your father?

  Maude Salinger : That's not his real name.

• Rob Salinger : I don't want to divorce, Micki, I just want to marry Maude.

  Leo Brody : You can't have your cake and eat it too.

  Rob Salinger : I've been with her for ten years. I can't give them up just like that. And it's have your cake and eat it too.

  Leo Brody : What do you mean?

  Rob Salinger : To have your cake, anyone can do. To eat it and still have some left, that's the trick.

  Leo Brody : Eat your cake, have your cake, who cares? You're about to get a plate of sauteed brains thrown into your face, your entire career is the toilet, and you're correcting my grammar?

• Rob Salinger : Come on, Micki, just one child. A small one.

• Rob Salinger : Will you marry me?

• Nurse Mary Verbeck : [telling a spaced out Micki about Rob's infidelity]  I have some bad news, Mrs. Salinger. Dr. Fibel and I... how shall I put this. Dr. Fibel and I...

  Micki Salinger : It's okay, I know.

  Nurse Mary Verbeck : You do?

  Micki Salinger : Yes.

  Nurse Mary Verbeck : And you don't mind?

  Micki Salinger : Why should I mind?

  Nurse Mary Verbeck : Frankly, I'm shocked.

  Micki Salinger : What am I supposed to do cancel surgery because my doctor's having an affair with his nurse?

  Nurse Mary Verbeck : What?

  Micki Salinger : [laughing hysterically]  You're having an affair with Dr. Fibel.

  Nurse Mary Verbeck : What on earth are you talking about? I'm not that kind of woman and neither is Dr. Fibel.

  Rob Salinger : [Nurse Verbeck leaves the room in a huff and Rob steps in to find Micki laughing away]  Micki, Micki, is everything all right in here?

  Micki Salinger : Oh, Rob, did you noticed that Nurse Verbeck is just a little bit menopausal?

• Rob Salinger : [the morning after sleeping with Maude]  God, I'm so hungover, my head feels like a tuning fork.

• Rob Salinger : What am I supposed to say? "Micki, a decade is a long time to be intimate with another human being, but I'm..."

  Leo Brody : A little stiff. A little stiff, Rob. How about "Dear..."?

  Rob Salinger : Dear? What do you mean "dear"? I don't call her "dear", she's a lawyer.

  Leo Brody : Oh... "Councilor"? I'm just not good enough for you.

  Rob Salinger : Oh! Common, Leo... Jesus! Wait a minute. Uhm... Oh! Common, Leo... Jesus! Wait a minute. Uhm... "Sometimes in a relationship, uhm... Sometimes in a relationship things happen that neither party anticipates."

  Leo Brody : Yeah, you've got the punch, now you need the pillow.

  Rob Salinger : What do you mean?

  Leo Brody : You'll gonna knock her out with this news, you need a pillow for her to land on.

  Rob Salinger : Yeah, I suppose...

  Leo Brody : "Micki, I love you. I'll always love you."

  Rob Salinger : Yeah.

  Leo Brody : Uhm... "These years with you, I've seen you blossom from a young girl into a mature woman."

  Rob Salinger : No, no, no. I mean, she was always a mature woman, even at 25.

  Leo Brody : All right, you like the part "Micki, I love you. I'll always love you", like that, right?

  Rob Salinger : Look, Leo. It's all right, but it's not exp...

  Leo Brody : Well, "Micki, I love you. I'll always love you..."

  Rob Salinger : "And... and... I'm..."

  Leo Brody : "... and I've knocked up a girl, I'm gonna marry and I want a divorce."

  Rob Salinger : Great, where's the pillow?

  Leo Brody : "We'd like to name the baby after you."

• Micki Salinger : [on the way to the doctor's office]  Does a sonogram hurt?

  Rob Salinger : Only if it's a singing sonogram.

  Micki Salinger : [chuckles]  Hee hee.

  Rob Salinger : [singing]  Oh, you're a pregnant mother. You're in the club again. You've got one in the oven, now it's coming down the lane.

  Micki Salinger : Oh!

  [laughs]