Sixteen Candles (1984)

Justin Henry: Mike Baker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Brenda Baker : Don't be a smartass.

  Mike Baker : OK, I'll be a dumbass.

• Long Duk Dong : Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.

  Mike Baker : It's a quiche.

  Long Duk Dong : How do you spell?

  Grandpa Fred : Well you don't spell it, son, you eat it.

  [laughs] 

• Mike Baker : [about Ginny]  Dad, she's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?

  Jim Baker : Where are you learning that stuff?

  Mike Baker : School.

  Jim Baker : Good. I get my money's worth.

• Brenda Baker : Oh, Sam. Sam, I am so sorry about your birthday.

  Samantha : It's OK. I'll recover.

  Brenda Baker : It's important to you. And yesterday morning you were trying to tell me.

  [Sniffling] 

  Samantha : It's OK, Mom. These things sometimes happen.

  Brenda Baker : Oh, honey, I just feel miserable.

  Samantha : You'll feel better.

  Mike Baker : Who died?

  Brenda Baker : Uh... Is there something you want to say to your sister?

  Mike Baker : What? Are you kidding? Where should I start?

  Brenda Baker : I mean about her birthday. It was yesterday. We all forgot.

  Mike Baker : [laughing]  Classic.

  Brenda Baker : Deep down, he's really sorry.

  Brenda Baker , Samantha : [Together]  No, he's not.

• Samantha : This is the single worst day of my entire life!

  Mike Baker : What the hell are you bitchin' about? I have to sleep under some Chinaman named after duck's dork.

  Samantha : Well, where am I sleeping?

  Mike Baker : Sofa City, Sweetheart.

• Brenda Baker : [to Sam]  I'm sorry, you'll have to buy lunch today. I didn't have time to fix your carrots.

  Mike Baker : Yeah, well, she's only eating carrots to increase the size of her breasts!

• Jim Baker : I can't believe it. Ginny's not in the shower.

  Mike Baker : [standing in front of the bathroom door]  I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Grandpa Fred was in there for half an hour. It's totally polluted.

  Jim Baker : Get dressed.

  Mike Baker : [Jim enters the bathroom and closes the door]  It's your nose.

  [after a few seconds, Jim walks out of the bathroom clearly repulsed by the stench emitting from it] 

  Mike Baker : They never listen.