Heaven Help Us (1985)

Stephen Geoffreys: Williams

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Quotes 

• Brother Constance : Are you familiar with the term "miserable"? Because miserable is what I'm going to make your miserable lives, every miserable minute of every miserable day!

  Rooney , Caesar , Michael Dunn , Corbet , Williams : Yes, Brother.

  Brother Constance : Yes Brother what?

  Rooney , Caesar , Michael Dunn , Corbet , Williams : Yes Brother, miserable, Brother.

• Rooney : [Standing in line for confession]  Hey, Williams, you got your list?

  Williams : Oh, yeah.

  Rooney : Let's have a look.

  [Reading Williams' list] 

  Rooney : Jesus! You got here you jerked off 168 times? And it's been one month since your last confession? That's an average of...

  Williams : 5.6 times a day.

  Rooney : Oh, my God, you can't tell him that. He'll cut your balls off. Here's what you do. Say you jerked off 18 times, divide the rest up among impure thoughts and desires, and add another lie.

• [Brother William brings the five into the gymnasium, where Brother Constance is standing in front of the exercise horse] 

  Brother Constance : That's far enough. Thank you, brother.

  [Brother William leaves] 

  Brother Constance : Gentlemen, we will dispense with the traditional accusation denial ritual. It is such a bore, and not likely to convince me that I don't have before me right now at least one, if not all of the vandals. But since I'm a just man with no taste for punishing the innocent, I will afford the guilty the opportunity to speak now and to save the innocent from an impending state of wretchedness. Well?

  Rooney : Could you repeat that, brother?

  Brother Constance : [walks toward Rooney]  Shut up. All right, who did it? Speak now or you will all suffer for it.

  Michael Dunn : I did.

  Brother Constance : [walks to Michael]  Mr. Dunn.

  Rooney : He didn't do it. Uh, Williams did it.

  Williams : What do you mean "I did it"? Corbet did it.

  Corbet : No, it was Caesar's idea to take the head off.

  [the five protests and argue about the incident] 

  Brother Constance : [impatient and angry]  All right. All right! That's enough!

  [the boys fall silent] 

  Brother Constance : Have it your own way, gentlemen.