Just One of the Guys (1985)

Robert Fieldsteel: Phil

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the English teacher questions Willie and Phil about not doing their homework] 

  English Teacher : Willie, will you give us a synopsis of 'Catcher in the Rye'?

  Willie : [Willie first speaks in his alien language]  'Catcher in the Rye', a novel written by the Earthling Salinger that every adolescent Homo Sapien in America is forced to read.

  English Teacher : You didn't read it, did you?

  Willie : Our mission on your planet is to study human behavioral patterns.

  Phil : Last night, we simulated a daily teenage ritual, homework avoidance. We consumed large quantities of fermented hops and were transformed into degenerate party animal head bangers.

  [Willie laughs in his alien language] 

• [Phil in the cafeteria talks to Willie about finding a weird life form with his imaginary meter] 

  Phil : [Phil makes the sound of the meter]  I'm picking up curious life readings.

  Willie : Is it human?

  Phil : Unknown. It seems to be some sort of carbon-based douchebag.

  [Phil holds the meter up with it alarming through his voice, as he sees that it's Greg Tolan] 

• [the English teacher gives Willie and Phil a hard time about not reading Catcher in the Rye] 

  English Teacher : I don't care what planet you two are from, you've been pulling this routine for three years. You'll be here another year if you don't straighten out. I want that homework now!

  Willie : The Earth woman seems so tense. Irritable. Too much coffee.

  Phil : Not enough sex.

  [as the two continue to talk in their alien language] 

• [Terry sees Willie and Phil sitting side-by-side together next to the gym locker rooms] 

  Willie : Phil. Phil.

  Phil : Oh, Willie.

  Willie : I hate gym.

  Phil : I really hate Gym.

  Willie : I really hate gym, a lot.