Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

John Lithgow: B.Z.

Photos 

Quotes 

• Cornelia : Merry Christmas, Uncle.

  B.Z. : It certainly should be.

  [laughs evilly] 

• Patch : Don't you believe in Santa Claus?

  B.Z. : Why should I? He never brought me anything.

  Patch : That's because you were probably a naughty boy.

  B.Z. : Yes. I guess I was... no angel.

• B.Z. : A sequel. That's it. We'll bring it out on March 25, and we'll call it... Christmas 2!

  Patch : Christmas 2?

• [Towzer has revealed the dangers of the puce lollipop] 

  Towzer : B.Z., this stuff kills people.

  B.Z. : Are you going soft on me?

• Patch : You'll fix it so I can get on the telly... what's-it?

  B.Z. : When?

  Patch : Uh, Christmas Eve.

  B.Z. : How long?

  Patch : Is a minute all right?

  B.Z. : Yeah. What channel?

  Patch : [simply]  Well all of them.

  B.Z. : All of them?

  Patch : Yeah.

  B.Z. : Which country?

  Patch : [simply]  All of them.

  B.Z. : [shocked]  ALL of them?

  Patch : [pleased]  Yes! All the countries, all the channels!

  B.Z. : [incredulous]  That would cost a fortune!

• Towzer : The retailers are pulling our toys off the shelves so fast you'd think they're disease carriers.

  B.Z. : Cowards.

  Towzer : And an article in the Post said that anyone who gives his kid a B.Z. toy ought to have his head examined.

  B.Z. : Swine! Cancel my subscription.

  Towzer : We have to meet a payroll by the end of the month for 2,000 factory workers.

  B.Z. : Commies!

• B.Z. : This stardust, this reindeer cornflakes. What would happen if we were to juice up the formula, make it stronger?

  Patch : Well, it's self-explanatory it would make them fly!

• B.Z. : What would it cost?

  Patch : Cost? Cost who?

  B.Z. : The people, who, who buy the toy.

  Patch : Well, nothing. We're going to give them away free.

  [B.Z. starts spluttering and his face turns red] 

  Patch : Oh! Oh, that's fantastic! How do you turn your face so red so fast?

  B.Z. : FOR FREE?

  Patch : Well, that's how we do it at the North Pole.

  B.Z. : WELL, THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO IT HERE! In a free enterprise system!

• B.Z. : Santa Claus... is FINISHED!