The Magical World of Disney (TV Series)

Hero in the Family (1986)

M. Emmet Walsh: General Presser

Quotes 

• Benjamin Reed : [has been caught in Digger's uniform masquerading as his father to gain access to the base]  Uniform? I don't see a uniform, what uniform?

  General Presser : *This* uniform

  [grabs the collar of the flight suit Ben is wearing] 

  General Presser : .

  Benjamin Reed : Holy smokes, this is a uniform. In fact, it's my father's uniform! Oh! Oh no! I must be having an identity crisis! General Presser!

  [grabs Presser by the collar] 

  Benjamin Reed : You were right! I do need help, you gotta let me in there to see a doctor, please?

  [kisses Presser on each cheek, then struts off] 

  General Presser : This kid *is* deeply disturbed.

• Digger Reed : [Ben has just successfully switched back the minds of Digger and Orville in their correct bodies. Digger, dazed, now is slowly re-orienting himself. The NASA men thinking he is still a threat, and throw a net over him, which he catches in mid-air]  Hey! Don't throw that at me, partner!

  General Presser : [holding Ben]  Watch him!

  Digger Reed : And let go of my son!

  General Presser : Watch him, he may be dangerous!

  Digger Reed : Yeah! Yeah! That's right! That's right, I may be dangerous unless you take your hands off my son, and get out of here!

  Benjamin Reed : You heard what my dad said, GET OUT OF HERE!

  General Presser : [to the men]  We'll regroup on the lawn

  [they leave] 

  General Presser : .

  Digger Reed : [reaching to his wife]  Aw honey, gimmie a hug!

  Lisa Reed : [embraces her husband]  Oh! You're back!

  Digger Reed : [now outside to talk to the General and sees all the cars parked on the grass]  Hey! Hey I'm gonna have to replant that! You know you guys could have parked on the street!

  General Presser : Coloniel! You're ordered for debriefing at 09:00 hours, and that's an order.

  Digger Reed : Well, I'll be glad to debrief with you, General. When I'm good and ready! After I've had some time with my wife and my son.

  [gives a thumb up] 

  General Presser : [General Presser nods and walks away, irritated] 

  Digger Reed : [puts an arm around his wife]  You know something? I am hungry! I haven't had a good meal in weeks, so how about one of your famous breakfasts?

  Lisa Reed : Mmm hmm!

  Digger Reed : All right?

  Lisa Reed : Mmm hmm!

  Digger Reed : All right! Will you join us, Jessie?

  [Jessie nods] 

  Digger Reed : All right!

  Ralph : [rides up on Ben's bicycle]  Did someone mention breakfast?

  Digger Reed : Hey hey hey! Ralph, we did it!

  [slaps his hand, Ralph slaps Ben's hand back] 

  Digger Reed : Yeah, Ralph, I did it! Care to join us?

  Ralph : Aw, you bet Coloniel Reed!

  Digger Reed : Good.

  Ralph : It's good to see you up and around again.

  Digger Reed : [nods]  Thanks, Ralph.

• Benjamin Reed : Mom!

  [running down the stairs] 

  Benjamin Reed : Mom! Mom! Ma... General Presser! I'm glad you're here, Dad's OK, we can straighten this whole mess out!

  Lisa Reed : Slow down, Ben. Now what are you talking about?

  General Presser : Take it easy, son. You've been under a lot of strain lately.

  Benjamin Reed : No, no, you see? There was this mix-up in space. Dad's actually OK, it's just... he's...

  [Ben looks behind him and Orville/Digger walks down the stairs] 

  General Presser : What's that monkey doing here? He could be contaminated!

  [puts his cloth hankerchief over his mouth and nose] 

  Benjamin Reed : Now, I know this is going to be hard to believe... but this monkey...

  [looks down to Orville/Digger, who makes a motion with hand to go on and tell them then holds Ben's hand] 

  Benjamin Reed : , Sigh. This monkey, is Dad.

  Lisa Reed : Oh, Ben!

  General Presser : [stands]  He needs professional help.

  Benjamin Reed : I'm telling you, this monkey is Dad! You know why Dad's been acting so dumb? Because he's Orville!

  General Presser : Sure, yeah sure, kid. I need to take that monkey back to NASA! I mean, if it's contaminated... we're all in serious trouble! Come here, Orville! I'm your friend!

  [moves closer to Orville/Digger, as Orville/Digger steps back] 

  General Presser : You're going home!

  Benjamin Reed : You leave him alone!

  General Presser : This is my monkey!

  Benjamin Reed : That's no monkey, that's my Dad!

  General Presser : Come here, you little creep!

  [grasps for Orville/Digger, who races back up the stairs] 

  General Presser : Get back here!

  [runs up the stairs after Orville/Digger] 

  Benjamin Reed : [Orville/Digger begins to throw books, a ceramic vase, whatever, to keep Presser back]  All right, Dad!

  [Presser gets to the top of the stairs, Orville/Digger jumps to the hand rail] 

  Benjamin Reed : Dad! The chandelier!

  [runs up the stairs and moves the hanging chandelier so it is within reach of Orville/Digger, who grabs it and swings over and down the stairs, then out the door] 

  General Presser : Come back here Orville!

  [runs back down the stairs and runs into Ben, who grabs a jacket off the coat tree and puts it over Presser's head] 

  Lisa Reed : Ben! What are you doing?

  Benjamin Reed : It's Dad, Mom! I gotta help him!

  Lisa Reed : No!

  General Presser : [takes coat off his head and speaks into his radio]  Mayday, Mayday! All units!

• Digger Reed : [Digger and the rest of the flight crew have just been briefed by General Presser on the crystalline ring]  Well, it doesn't sound dangerous to me, sounds like a lot of fun!

  General Presser : Fun? We're not talking about moon rocks here, this is dangerous! It's exactly that kind of carefree attitude that could seriously jeopardize the success of this mission.

  Digger Reed : You've been riding me pretty hard the last few years, trying to get me to retire, well tough luck Sir! You can't argue with my pilot ratings!

  General Presser : I can't?

  [slides Digger's latest test rating results across the desk] 

  General Presser : Your latest test ratings are down! You're losing your fabled edge!

  NASA Flight Surgeon : Digger's ratings may be down, but they're still excellent on any chart. He's still the best we have.

  General Presser : I'm putting you in charge of the mission, but I'm assigning the collection to someone else. Someone dependable, someone who won't give me any surprises.

  Digger Reed : Perhaps you'd like to share with all of us, who that someone might be.

  General Presser : I'm assigning, Orville.

  Digger Reed : [looks around at the flight crew, then back to Presser]  Orville?

  General Presser : [leans back in his chair]  That's right.

  NASA Flight Surgeon : Digger, you two always worked well together in training.

  Digger Reed : [closes his manilla folder with his notes]  No. Orville's OK, Orville's not the problem. I just hate feeling like the hired help.

  [stands to leave] 

  General Presser : Fine. I don't like your shananigans. Your test results are OK for now, but they won't be for long. And when they slip...

  [shrugs] 

  Digger Reed : [stops in the doorway and looks back to Presser] 

  General Presser : [grins] 

  Digger Reed : [shakes his head and walks out] 

  NASA Flight Surgeon : [looks over to Presser] 

  General Presser : [puts his hands behind his head] 

• Lisa Reed : [Lisa enters Ben's bedroom to wake him up for the broadcast of Digger's flight]  Ben, wake up. Beeeennn, wake uuuupppp.

  [Ben pokes his head out from under the covers] 

  Lisa Reed : It's showtime.

  [Lisa and Ben go into the living room and sit on the couch, Lisa turns on the TV] 

  Lisa Reed : General Presser arranged this direct feed from NASA. Pretty good, huh?

  Benjamin Reed : Couldn't we have taped this?

  Lisa Reed : This is history, Ben. We have to watch this live.

  Benjamin Reed : How come Dad has to make history at 2 o'clock in the morning?

  [Lisa chuckles. We see Digger in his space suit coming out of the hatch on the shuttle] 

  Capcom : Atlantis, Houston. Digger, how are you doing?

  Digger Reed : Terrific, Houston. I'll be ready to party just as soon as my buddy Orville gets out here.

  General Presser : Well, he's partying. He better enjoy it while he can, because this is his last flight.

  Flight Surgeon : You'll lose the best pilot you got.

  Capcom : 5 seconds to sunrise.

  Digger Reed : [the sun rises over Shuttle Atlantis orbiting the Earth and illuminates the crystalline ring]  Holy Toledo! Would you look at that!

  Benjamin Reed , Lisa Reed , Capcom : [Lisa and Ben look at each other and smile from home as they watch the feed]  Whoa! Those are some pretty amazing images we're receiving here in Houston! Atlantis, Houston. Be advised, Orville should be clearing the hatch right about now... should be with you any second now.

  [Digger looks down and sees Orville floating up to where Digger floats over the lab/cargo section of the shuttle Atlantis. As Orville floats into view, we see his spacesuit reads - Lt. Starbright] 

  Digger Reed : Welcome to space, Orville. You're about to go down in the history books like Batman and Robin, Anthony and Cleopatra, Abbott and Costello! So, how ya feelin', partner?

  General Presser : This is General Presser, lets's stop fooling around. Get on with it.

  Capcom : You may begin collection procedure.

  Digger Reed : OK, little guy. Just pretend like you're going after some intergalactic bananas!

  [gives a thumbs up sign to Orville and sends him to retrieve a crystal from the ring] 

  Capcom : Orville's respiration rate is quickening, brain patterns fluctuating.

  Digger Reed : He's in big trouble, Houston. Do you want me to go and grab him? Houston, I repeat! Do you want me to go and grab him?

  General Presser : That's a negative, Colonial.

  Flight Surgeon : Pulse rate 105, 115, 120, heart rate accelearting

  [Orville is seen doing somersaults, screeching wildly] 

  Benjamin Reed : [watching the feed]  It's gotta be those crystals! Orville's right next to 'em!

  General Presser : I'm ordering an abort. Atlantis, Houston. Cancel collection procedure. Return to the Atlantis.

  Digger Reed : What about Orville?

  General Presser : You have to leave him.

  Digger Reed : No way. I'm going after him!

  General Presser : Negative, Colonial! This is General Presser speaking! You're disobeying a direct order!

• General Presser : I'm ordering an abort. Abandon collection procedure. Return to the shuttle.

  Lisa Reed : [watching the feed]  Go back Digger, please.

  Digger Reed : What about Orville?

  General Presser : You have to leave him.

  Digger Reed : No way! I'm going after him!

  General Presser : Negative, Colonial! This is General Presser speaking! Return to the shuttle! You're disobeying a direct order!

  Digger Reed : Chew on a desk, Sir!

  Flight Surgeon : Digger's pulse is 99, 104, 110, respiration quickening...

  General Presser : Return to the shuttle! I'm ordering you to return to the shuttle!

  Digger Reed : [floats towards Orville]  Come here, Orville! Come here! Come on, little guy!

  Flight Surgeon : Digger's pulse 118, 125, heart rate accelerating...

  Digger Reed : [beginning stages of delirium]  Wow, you should see these crystals! Unbelievable!

  [takes Orville by the hand] 

  Digger Reed : I have to go closer! I have to touch one of them! I have to bring it back!

  Lisa Reed : Digger, no!

  Digger Reed : I hear music! Sweet, glorious, music! LAAAAAAAAAAAHH! LA! LA! LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  Flight Surgeon : Abandon collection!

  General Presser : Return to the shuttle! RETURN TO THE SHUTTLE! Return to the shuttle!

  Digger Reed : [Digger reaches for one of the crystals. As his hand comes around it, the crystal begins to glow brightly. A bright flash is seen, blinding the screens in Houston. Digger and Orville, still holding hands and Digger holding the crystal in the other hand, begin to spin in a spiral effect]  .

  Flight Surgeon : Atlantis? Bring them in.

  Lisa Reed , Benjamin Reed : [static now shows on the TV at the Reed house. Mother and son look at each other intently, then back to the TV, helpless] 

• General Presser : Get that monkey! He's contaminated!

  [screams and chaos]