Rita, Sue and Bob Too (1987)

George Costigan: Bob

Quotes 

• Sue : [Examines a condom Bob gives her]  So what happens if it tears?

  Bob : Not good then. The sperm can get out and fertilise the egg.

  Rita : We haven't got eggs inside us. We're not ducks, y'know!

• Bob : You take the rubber johnny out of the packet-...

  Sue : You didn't think we thought you could put packet on, did ya?

• [to Michelle, during an argument] 

  Bob : When we have sex, it feels like shagging a bag of spuds - you lay there like a bit of wet rag.

• Michelle : [while ironing Bobs trousers Sue finds a packet of condoms inside his pocket]  What the bloody hell are you doin' with a packet of these?

  Bob : Me and Joe were havin' a laugh with 'em in the pub. We were blowin' 'em up!

  Michelle : I'm sorry to tell ya but I don't believe yer.

  Bob : Well go and see Joe and ask him yer self then.

  Michelle : [while tossing the packet at him]  Yer a lyin' bastard, you've been arsin' around again.

  Bob : Don't be silly!

  Michelle : What's the matter, do you think I'm thick? I know you've been pissin' about.

  Bob : How do you know anythin'?

  Michelle : Staying out 'til all hours in the morning and making stupid excuses!

  Bob : So what?

  Michelle : I bet it was that dirty little bitch you was screwing before. The trouble with you Bob is you're sex mad.

  Bob : Ah don't be daft woman.

• Bob : Well, things haven't been going so good with me and the wife.

  Rita : Tell us another one!

• Sue : [after Bob has had sex in the car with first Sue and then Rita]  Is that all she's gettin'?

  Bob : [Dropping used condom out of the car window]  I thought I were great!