Ruthless People (1986)

Helen Slater: Sandy Kessler

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barbara : So, when do I get out of here?

  Sandy : As soon as Mr. Stone pays the ransom.

  Barbara : Well what's the problem? What is the ransom?

  Sandy : It... it was $500,000.

  Barbara : That shouldn't be a problem.

  Sandy : He complained

  Barbara : He complained?

  Sandy : And then we dropped our price to $50,000.

  Barbara : Yeah?

  Sandy : He didn't pay.

  Barbara : He didn't pay? So now what?

  Sandy : So now we're dropping our price again to $10,000.

  Barbara : Do I understand this correctly? I'm being *marked down*? What is this? The Bargain Basement?

  [Starts crying] 

  Barbara : I've been kidnapped by Kmart!

• Sandy : I don't think he loves her.

  Ken Kessler : Well, let's face it, she's not Mother Teresa. Gandhi would have strangled her.

• [on finding out that Sam has a mistress and was glad she was kidnapped] 

  Barbara : I've got it, I tell you, I've got it! Listen to this, all right? Sam arrives on a motorcycle, wearing shorts! No shoes, no shirt, nothing... maybe we'll just put him in a jock strap! Then he has to drive all over town. Sam burns really easily, he'll be bright red in no time!

  Ken Kessler : I can't believe this is happening...

  Barbara : Then he has to cover himself with honey, and go to a bee farm! We'll make him dance around, so the bees go absolutely nuts!

  Ken Kessler : [to Sandy, who looks disturbed]  I don't think she really means it...

  Barbara : Then we all watch, while they sting him to death! YEAH!

  [she makes kicking and punching motions] 

  Ken Kessler : Barbara, don't we want something that'll last, something that'll keep stinging him for the rest of his life?

  Sandy : My God, he must have been seeing this woman for years...

  Barbara : CASTRATE HIM! I want to castrate him!

  [she mimes cutting something off with scissors, then tossing it over her shoulder] 

• Sandy : [about the kidnapping of Barbara]  I feel terrible about this. Do you feel as guilty as I do?

  Ken Kessler : Guilty? Are you kidding me? He takes our money, steals your idea, goes out and makes a million dollars and you feel guilty? I can't believe this! How many times have we been over this?

  Sandy : Honey, not again...

  Ken Kessler : [pulls out a People magazine with Sam Stone on the cover]  Let me remind you of something. YOU are the spandex mini-skirt king. Not him! He is the spandex mini-skirt thief. He's the one that should feel guilty!

  [turns to a page] 

  Ken Kessler : Look at this! Do you remember this? You cried for a week when you saw this. Look at the smile on that asshole!

  Sandy : I know he stole it! But she didn't do anything.

  Ken Kessler : She was his partner! Damn it, Sandy! Do you enjoy being stepped on? Do you? Because I don't, and I don't feel guilty.

  [after a pause] 

  Ken Kessler : I take it back. I do feel guilty. I feel very guilty because I trusted a sleazeball named Sam Stone with our life savings on a handshake deal, and then just sat there and watched him take it all away from us!

• Sandy : No matter what I do, there's nothing I can say... she just tears into me! She hates me.

  Ken Kessler : Sandy, you're her kidnapper. She's *supposed* to hate you.

• [Ken is horrified to hear that Sandy has let Barbara go] 

  Sandy : Kenny, she really, truly loves us now! She can be trusted, she's changed!

  Ken Kessler : Changed? What did you do, perform an exorcism?

  Sandy : Kenny, she lost nearly twenty pounds!

  [He stares at her, uncomprehending] 

  Sandy : Well, you should have been here. It was a very special moment.

  [Suddenly someone pounds on the front door. Both Ken and Sandy look at each other with dread] 

  Ken Kessler : I'm surprised they knocked.

  [while Sandy bolts for the back door, Ken opens the front door to a police officer with a "Wanted" flyer] 

  Cop with Killer Picture : Good afternoon. I was wondering if you've seen this man. He was sighted in the area a few weeks ago, and again earlier today. He's psychotic, extremely dangerous, and extremely violent. He's killed half a dozen people...

  Sandy : [off-screen, panicked after seeing the cop at the door]  Oh no, oh no... I've gotta get out of here!

  Ken Kessler : [forcing a smile]  My wife... she's late for work.

  [glances at the flyer] 

  Ken Kessler : Doesn't look familiar.

  Cop with Killer Picture : [gives him the flyer]  Well, keep this and give us a call at that number if you do see him. And under no conditions should you try to subdue him yourself. Like I said, he's extremely violent.

  Ken Kessler : He looks it. Thank you very much, Officer!

  [the officer smiles and leaves. Ken waits until he is out of sight, then bolts for the back yard, where Sandy is trying to climb over the fence] 

  Ken Kessler : [whispering]  Sandy! It's okay, it's okay! They're looking for somebody else.

• Ken Kessler : Wouldn't it be better if we were to strike at the core of Sam's being? His reason for living?

  Sandy : Well, what would that be?

  Barbara : HIS TESTICLES!

• Ken Kessler : We've got to be ruthless. Think ruthless.

  Sandy : What if I can't think ruthless?

  Ken Kessler : You've got to. It's good for you. It makes you strong. I mean, what the hell's the sense of being a decent person when nobody else is?