The Charmings (1987–1988)

Alex Henteloff: IRS Agent

Quotes 

• Queen Lillian White : [Lillian has been called in for an IRS audit, and is speaking to herself]  They're not going to intimidate me, they're not going to intimidate me, they're not going to intimidate me.

  IRS Agent : Next!

  [points to Lillian] 

  Queen Lillian White : You can't do anything to me, I've done nothing wrong.

  IRS Agent : I hear that all the time. When it comes to tax fraud, everyone swears they're "lilly white."

  Queen Lillian White : But I am Lilly White!

  IRS Agent : Sure, sure, sure. Now sit down!

  Queen Lillian White : I'm warning you, I'm a witch!

  IRS Agent : Oh, yeah? So is my wife. Now, you say you're self employed. Doing what?

  Queen Lillian White : Doing this.

  [she makes the lamp on the desk levitate] 

  IRS Agent : Not bad. But I saw that on a Bud Light commercial.

  [Lillian then zaps up a huge snake] 

  IRS Agent : Any other dependents?

  Queen Lillian White : Tough room!

  [zaps the snake away] 

  IRS Agent : Now look, lady, I've been doing this for 22 years. I've seen it all, I've heard it all. Now where did you get the money?

  Queen Lillian White : I tapped into the credit system through my magic mirror.

  IRS Agent : Ok, I haven't heard it all.