Outrageous Fortune (1987)

Bette Midler: Sandy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lauren : Where are we? We've been going for miles and I haven't seen a single white person on the street.

  Sandy : There's one.

  [Lauren looks out of taxi cab window] 

  Sandy : Oops. They got 'em.

  Lauren : That's not funny.

• Sandy : [after spending the night with Michael, Lauren comes into class with a dreamy smile on her face]  Oh, my! That kind of evening, huh?

  Lauren : Well, not the kind you're used to. No money changed hands!

• Sandy : Well, what the hell?

  Lauren : Well, that's not his?

  Sandy : No way! Look at that!

  Lauren : It's too small.

  Sandy : It's a fuckin' pencil!

• Lauren : Are you out of your mind? We don't have two hundred dollars!

  Sandy : Aw, chill out, wouldja?

  Lauren : Oh, my God, he's going to hurt us.

  Sandy : He's not going to hurt us.

  Lauren : Oh? Why not?

  [They get out of the taxi and are in front of an old, dirty apartment building in an awful part of town] 

  Sandy : 'Cause we're gonna be raped and murdered in this building.

• Lauren : You defiled a Christmas tree?

  Sandy : No one saw!

• Sandy Brozinsky : Look, Frank. We're not just jerking you around. Some guys are after us because one of them stole a virus that's gonna kill and destroy all the plants and all the trees all the way around. We stole it back, so now they're gonna kill us. You get it?

  Frank : Jesus. The sixties sure were good to you, weren't they?

  Lauren Ames : Frank, that's right. Think back to the sixties. People did things for each other.

  Frank : They were wasted.

• Sandy Brozinsky : Does the phrase "Needledick, the Bug Fucker" mean anything to you?

• Sandy : You know what I bet? I bet you haven't been laid in about a year.

• Lauren : This is the happiest day of my life!

  Sandy : [incredulously]  They bought that shit!

  Lauren : [insulted]  Shit? SHIT? You're calling my Hamlet *shit*?

  Sandy : He's a wimp! I mean, look at him! He can't make up his mind about anything! All he does is go around saying "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" Give me Romeo or Henry the Fifth! Now there's a guy I could boff!

  Lauren : Boff? So we're back to boffing again?

• Sandy : [while Lauren is walking towards her acting class, Sandy is using the payphone in the background]  GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKIN' QUARTER!

• Sandy : She's got a great mad scene. No, really, it's great. I just saw it.

• Sandy Brozinsky : [slams the phone down]  Holy Mary! Is there one fucking phone in this whole town that works?

  [Sandy comes in from the outside waiting room] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : You got a phone I can use?

  [Sandy throws coat on couch, picks phone up and dials] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : Yeah. Hi. This is Sandy Brozinsky. Who's this?

  [pauses] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : Howie. Okay, Howie. I'm holding in my hand this thingy that says you're gonna turn off my phone at noon!

  [pauses] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : Oh, yeah? Well, I wanna tell you something! I just got out of the hospital. I get home after 2 months of intensive care. They wheel me into my building. I open my mailbox and I find your thingy screamin' at me that I have 'til 12 noon today.

  [pauses] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : Hey, NO! YOU listen, YOU listen! I just opened the damned thing! I just now laid eyes on it for the first time!

  [pauses] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : What was I supposed to do? Have them unhook the life support machine so I could pay my bills?

  [pauses] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : Oh, really? Yeah? So now I have 3, no make that 2 mins to write a check and wheel myself down to your office, Howie? Is that the drill?

  [Lauren getting more upset, plugs her ears and starts vocalizing] 

  Sandy Brozinsky : 24 hours. 24 big ones. Alright, Howie. You're a Prince among men. I mean it. I wanna have your child.