Radio Days (1987)

Julie Kavner: Tess, the mother

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mother : I don't know what to do, Rabbi. Every night, he listens to the radio. I can't keep him away. I say, "Go to the beach. Play in the sun. Get some fresh air." No. "The Lone Ranger," "The Shadow," "The Masked Avenger."

  Rabbi Baumel : This is not good. This boy needs discipline. Radio, it's all right once in a while. Otherwise, it tends to induce bad values false dreams, lazy habits. Listening to the radio these stories of foolishness and violence this is no way for a boy to grow up!

  Joe : You speak the truth, my faithful Indian companion.

  Rabbi Baumel : To a rabbi you say "my faithful Indian companion"?

  [hits him in a head] 

• Mother : [as she watches anti-aircraft searchlights with husband during a World War II black-out]  It's so beautiful. Boy, what a world... it could be so wonderful, if it wasn't for certain people.

• Narrator : Then there were my father and mother, two people who could find an argument in any subject.

  Father : Wait, you think the Atlantic is a greater ocean than the Pacific?

  Mother : No. Have it your way. The Pacific is greater.

  Narrator : I mean, how many people argue over oceans?

• Mother : I think you have these qualities that you demand and when you meet a nice man you disqualify him for the smallest fault.

  Bea : That's not true.

  Mother : So, what was wrong with Nat Bernstein?

  Bea : He wore white socks with a tuxedo!

• Narrator : [about a therapist's radio show]  I found the show silly and always imagined my parents on it airing their standard complaints.

  Mother : He's a business failure. He never finishes what he starts. We're forced to live with my relatives and thank God for them. And I should have married Sam Slotkin.

  Father : Sam Slotkin's dead.

  Mother : Yes, but while he was alive, he was working.

  Father : She'd be lost without her whole family around her all the time, and you should see 'em. They're like some kind of tribe. They're like the Huns. Maybe if I had married a more encouraging woman, who knows?

  Mother : So who do you think is right?

  Mr. Abercrombie : I think you both deserve each other.

  Mother : What does that mean?

  Father : Look, we didn't come here to be insulted.

  Mother : I love him, but what did I do to deserve him?

• Bea : Tess, I can't decide if I should take my vacation on a cruise or go to the mountains. I mean, the men are richer on a cruise, but there's more of them in the resorts. What do you think, Tess?

  Mother : Well, I met my husband at a mountain resort. So, I'd advise you to go on a cruise.

• Mother : Pay more attention to your schoolwork and less to the radio!

  Joe : You always listen to the radio.

  Mother : It's different. Our lives are ruined already. You still have a chance to grow up and be somebody.

• Mother : You know, when we were younger, of the three sisters she used to be considered the pretty one.

  Father : Some contest.

• Mother : Better be careful. The daughter believes in free love.

  Father : Why do you say that?

  Mother : You heard what happened to Mrs. Silverman? She couldn't sleep. She was up one night taking a cup of tea and she heard a car pull up 3:00 in the morning. So, you know Mrs. Silverman. She always likes to know what's going on. So, she's peeking out her front door and there's the girl across the street coming back from a folk-singing thing with a tall colored man. You're not gonna believe this, Ceil. She gives the guy a big, long kiss. Well, you can imagine how Rose Silverman reacted. She had a stroke on the spot.

• Ceil : French fries? You ate French fries? You won't eat my French fries but you'll eat the Russian's, the commie's French fries?

  Mother : I'm gonna get him some bicarbonate.

  Ceil : That's too good for him. He deserves an enema!

  Abe : Oh, Ceil.

  Ceil : Yeah, right.

• Father : What do they want, those Nazis? To slaughter everyone on the planet?

  Mother : The Nazis, the Communists. The world would be better off without any of them, believe me. Come here. You know what W.C. Fields said, don't you? He said, to settle a war the leaders of the countries involved should meet in a stadium and fight it out with socks filled with horse manure.

• Mother : If it's a girl, I thought we could name it Lola.

  Father : Lola? What do you want her to be, a stripper?

• Mother : Martin, are you sure you want to call the baby Ellen?

  Father : Sure. Sure. Why not? It's in memory of your cousin Eddie.

  Mother : In memory? He's not dead yet.

  Father : He should be.

• Mother : There are those who drink champagne at nightclubs and us who listen to them drink champagne on the radio.

• Father : Roger and Irene are rich and famous. They have a radio show. They wear fancy clothes, they hobnob with their celebrity friends, they go to all the openings and nightclubs. What, you think they're happier than us?

  Mother : How much time do I have to answer that question?

• Mother : I compromised when I picked Martin. I mean I wanted someone tall and handsome and rich. Three out of three, I gave up.