User Reviews

Cheap, gloriously bad cheese from the 80's, the decade of cheese. I watched this one first uncut and un-MST3K'ed, and it was pretty much laugh out loud funny even without the comments.

The plot(such as it is) revolves around a post-apocalyptic world in which the AI robots revolted(sound familiar?) and destroyed pretty much everything, leaving a world in ruins with air so bad no one can breathe it. The few humans that are left act as slaves to an enigmatic being called the Dark One, which seems to be part computer and part organic being. The 'air slaves' work to produce energy for this being in return for breathable air. Every once in a while, the Dark One has the strongest of the air slaves fight to the death, so that no one will rise as a leader in a revolt against the Dark One.

Okay, that's the so-called serious stuff. On to the silly stuff, such as the ridiculous quasi-futuristic clothing that everyone sports, including car seat cover 'fur' garments, loin cloths, and spangly stuff and feather boas(worn mostly by the Dark One's henchwoman, a chick with an unrecognizable and almost non-understandable accent). Or the wooden acting and stilted lines sported by all of the so-called 'actors', who's dialog is high on pretension and low on sense. Or the dime store special fx, including pink socks with teeth glued onto them for 'deadly' sewer snakes, a bomb made of strung piano wire and a tin can, and terrible 'mutants' with Halloween rubber masks on.

A band of air slaves follow their leader, a mysterious wanderer who has adapted to the air outside, to go to the energy plant to destroy the Dark One. The guy's name is Neo, which explains where the Wachowski brothers got the idea for the Matrix. They meet up with a group of Amazons along the way, with the obligatory fight scene in which the female is bested(of course). Has anyone else ever noticed that in every Amazon movie or t.v. show ever produced, these so-called amazing warriors always get their butts kicked by either men or women? Amazons are just pansies, I guess.

This band of determined warriors makes their way through Central Park...errr...the ravaged lands beyond the last standing city(good way to save money on the matte paintings of a destroyed New York City, anyway) and journey into the sewers leading to the Power Station where the Dark One and his go-go girl henchwoman Valeria hang out. Here they vanquish such ferocious beasts as the sock puppet worms, a giant spider no one sees, and the goofy lobster robot who is one of the Dark One's personal guard.

The final showdown is pretty sad. One of the slaves, a girl who's father was taken by the Dark One because he'd produced a way for people to breathe the foul air, sees that her father has been 'consumed by the Dark One's true form", which involves him being eaten by a giant avocado until only his head is sticking out. The three remaining adventurers destroy the Dark One by turning off a few switches, and the robot holocaust dies not with a bang but with a whimper. The two humans exchange some amazingly wooden last lines, and that's it. The End.

This is one of those gems that's so hilariously bad that the MST3K commentary can only detract. Do yourself a favor and watch the original.

Where to start? First there's the title. We're told by the narrator that robots rose up "by the billions" against their human masters; however, there are only a handful of robots and one of them is with the good guys. The chief bad guy is "Dark One", who is not a robot at all. Rather, he's a blob in the spirit of those things that bet "quatloos" on Earthings in that old Star Trek episode. The Dark One uses a "power plant" to control the air quality so he can enslave humans so they can work in the power plant so he can control the air quality so he can enslave them, etc, etc...beyond that he's doesn't seem to have much of a plan.

This film has pretty much everything that's ever appeared in a post- apocalyptic sci fi movie: robots, radiation, mutants, amazons, (some) gratuitous nudity, bad hair, and even a giant spider, thrown in in more or less random order. There is, however, a notable lack of Mad Max style vehicles and chases. I'm sure this was a bitter disappointment to the director, but clearly even even if they had magically been able to score a couple of cars, the required street shoot permits would have been way, way beyond their budget.

Which brings us to production quality. Most of the props look like they were bought at Spencer's gifts. No, really, there's even a plasma globe! Most of the shoots were done in Central Park (there's even a sign that says "Central Park"), and a couple of basements. The "cave worms" rank with Ed Wood's flying saucers and Ray Milland's head on Rosy Greer's shoulder for least convincing effects. On the other hand, the fight where the plastic heads fly is pretty good, too. They couldn't afford to go to an actual power plant, so they use a badly painted backdrop.

And ah, Angelika Jager. Beautiful, but perhaps the worst actress ever to appear in film. She mumbles though her lines in a thick German accent sounding like she's just slammed a bottle of schnapps. I can easily imagine that the director met her in a bar and cooked up the whole movie as a plan to sleep with her. That's about the only explanation that makes sense for any of it.

I could go on, but you really need to see this for yourself.

haha I LOVED this AWFUL movie! Gotta love the pleasure chamber scene; so COMPLETELY out of place, only for the sake of having some raunch on film; I love crappy movies!! I loved the rubber worms and the same three bad guys that kept popping up. The expression on the guy who gets eaten by the slimy green egg is fantastic; the whole movie he looks SO bored haha! I'm not sure what I loved most about the movie, but it was so bad it had me hooked! I couldn't even really follow the plot, but it was fun watching it to see what zany thing would happen next; I don't recommend this if you are looking for something serious to watch, but campy film fans you will love this!

Tim Kincaid may have directed movies like Breeders and Mutant Hunt, but he may be more well-known as the adult film director of movies such as Orange Hankey Left and Joe Gage's Sex Files Vol. 2: Uncle Pruitt Taught Me How to Do It. He was made a member of the GayVN Awards Hall of Fame in 2001 and in 2011, he won the XBIZ Award for Gay Director of the Year.

Thirty-three years before this movie began, a robot rebellion destroyed most of mankind. All the people who are left are either nomads or slaves to the Dark One, who power the city and fight in death matches, which are used to weed out the number of humans left alive.

Our hero Neo is a drifter who even has a robot sidekick Klyton. They head off to save Deeja's dad and destroy the Dark One and his Power Station, along with some new allies that they meet on the way.

The music in this was taken directly from Laserblast. Somehow, even that movie is better than this one.

Perhaps most interesting, the man who played Klyton is Dr. J. Buzz Von Ornsteiner. Before he got his degree, he was in this film, Zombie Death House and Slash Dance. Since then, he's become the project director for Brooklyn Arraignment Court's Mental Health Court Advocacy Program and appears on the Reelz Channel show CopyCat Killers.

Some films are just plain silly beyond explanation. This is one of them. Words cannot do justice to the wooden acting, the stupid plotline, and the ever-predictable outcome. About the only thing that makes this film halfway worth watching are the scantily clad women (and the mute guy for you ladies) in it. The leader of the warrior women and Valeria are quite appealing to the eye. But that's about all this movie has going for it.

Some silliness in point: One scene, when they start to journey to the lair of the Dark One, they are walking away from a supposedly destroyed land. But we clearly see a 1980's New York behind them. About 2/3rds of this movie looks like it was filmed in a high school basement. The deadly sock puppets look about as scary as a sesame street monster. I have to agree with Latronic in that many 1950's trash b-movies did a better job than this. About the only one I can think of that didn't was Teenagers from Outer Space.

Robot Holocaust is about the lamest, most pathetic attempt at making a post-apocalyptic movie that I've seen. And I thought the Italians were the masters of wretched Mad Max wannabes. Some of those movies like Escape 2000 are positively brilliant in comparison with this piece of poo. The plot is nonsensical – even with a narrator setting up every scene. And boy does it drag. Scene after scene with nothing of any interest happening. The special effects (and I use the word "special" loosely) consist of sock puppets. Yes, that's right – sock puppets! The acting is abysmal. Angelika Jager is in the running for worst performance I've ever seen. Sure, she's French or German or whatever – but man is she bad. I cannot think of a single positive thing to say about the movie. So I'll stop there because ten sentences on this junk is about ten too many.

However, and fortunately for me, I saw the MST3K version of Robot Holocaust. Some of the things that made the movie so bad helped make this MST3K episode a winner. For a season one episode, the riffs come fast and furious and hit their mark just about every time. On my MST3K rating scale, I give this episode a 4/5 – seek it out.