Three Men and a Baby (1987)

Ted Danson: Jack Holden

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jack Holden : You're a good man, Peter.

  Peter Mitchell : I'm a goddamn saint.

  Jack Holden : Saint's a little much.

• Jack Holden : Somebody leaves a baby at the door and you automatically assume it's mine? The baby doesn't look anything like me! I'm bigger... and I've got more hair!

  Peter : [reads note that came with Mary]  "Dear Jack, here is our baby. I'm sorry I can't handle this right now..."

  Jack Holden : [snatches note from Peter and reads]  S-S-Sylvia?... Stratford! A year and a half... a year and a half ago. I did 'Taming of the Shrew'; she was the Shrew! I did some of my best work in that one... got great reviews!

  Michael Kellam : Jack, you're such a jerk. You're always thinking of yourself! I wanna kill you...

  Peter : [holds Michael back]  Don't worry, Michael, you won't have to. Jack, I would like to introduce you to your daughter, Mary.

  Jack Holden : But... uh... what am I supposed to do with it?

  Peter : We've put our lives on hold, Jack, taking care of this kid. And now, it's your turn.

  Jack Holden : Okay... okay... I'm an actor. I can do a father. Shouldn't be that hard.

  Michael Kellam : Goodnight, Jack.

  Jack Holden : [as Mary begins to cry]  Wait, what's wrong with her?

  Peter , Michael Kellam : [walking back to bed]  Goodnight, Jack.

• Peter Mitchell : Look at this.

  [Peter hands Jack a news clipping] 

  Peter Mitchell : This is your friend Paul Milner! 'Don't let this happen to you!'

  Jack Holden : 'Commercial Director Hospitalized After Mugging'... they're trying to intimidate us, I hate that!

  Peter Mitchell : I've had enough of this doo-doo!

  Michael Kellam : I want to FINISH this, okay?

• Jack Holden : Angelyne! Whew! Boy, you look different. What happened?

  Angelyne : I'm dressed.

• Jack Holden : [changing Mary]  How do you put on these goddamn things?

  Peter Mitchell : Figure it out for yourself, dickhead.

  Jack Holden : Oh, no! Not on the silk sheets! Not on the silk sheets!

• [Jack, Michael, and Peter are waiting by a pay phone with Mary for the drug dealers to call. They are helping the police set a trap. The phone rings, Peter answers] 

  Peter : Hello!... Yeah, we got your message!... Uh uh! No good! We do it our way!... 'Cause we've got the stuff! And, if you don't do it our way...

  Jack Holden : [whispering as Peter gathers himself]  Say it, say it!

  Peter : We FLUSH it down the toilet! Now, listen, there's a construction site...

• Jack Holden : [On the phone]  I'll bring you guys something back from Turkey. Maybe a drumstick.