Cocktail (1988)

Bryan Brown: Doug Coughlin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Doug : The luck is gone / the brain is shot / but the liquor we still got.

• Doug : [in his suicide note to Brian]  My dearest Brian, A guy like me looks in the mirror, he either grins, or he starts to fade away. And I haven't seen anything to grin about in a long time. This may not be the most graceful exit, but I know when the bottle's empty. The only thing I'm really going to miss is the conversations we had. At least I get the last word, even if I had to mail it in. Coughlin's Law: Bury the dead. They stink up the joint. As for the rest of Coughlin's Laws, ignore them. The guy was always full of shit.

  [chuckles bitterly] 

  Doug : But I guess you knew that already.

• Doug : Coughlin's Law: anything else is always something better.

• Doug : You see, there are two kinds of people in this world: the workers and the hustlers. The hustlers never work and the workers never hustle...

• Brian : Should we let it breathe?

  Doug : It hasn't breathed for fifty years, it's dead. Let's just drink it.

• Brian : You're offering me a job?

  Doug : Uh huh.

  Brian : The waitresses hate me!

  Doug : You wait till you've given them crabs. Then you'll really know hatred.

• Doug : Coughlin's Law: bury the dead, they stink up the place.

• Brian : I'm looking for the Manager.

  Doug : What's the problem? Did you find a hair in your quiche?

  Brian : No, I'm looking for a job.

  Doug : Ah, you'd like to put a hair in somebody else's quiche.

• Doug : Mighty Casey has struck out.

  Brian : The game's not over yet. It wouldn't be any fun if they fell over with their legs in the air, would it?

• Doug : [Introducing himself]  Douglas Coughlin, Logical Negativist. Flourished in the last part of the 20th Century. Propounded a set of laws the world generally ignores, to its detriment.

• Doug : I don't care how liberated this world becomes - a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume - and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not.

• Doug : Coughlin's law: never tell tales about a woman, she'll hear you no matter how far away she is.

• Brian : I'll stick with the brew.

  Doug : Beer is for breakfast around here, drink or be gone.

• Doug : Couglin's diet: cocktails and dreams.

• Brian : Not a goddamned thing any one of those professors says makes a difference on the street.

  Doug : If you know that, you're ready to graduate.

• Doug : When you see the color of their panties, you know you've got talent. Stick with me son and I'll make you a star.

• Doug : However, falling down the stairs is allowed!