- Tara: I speak perfect English. I also cook 815 international dishes, perform 637 sexual acts, use all the popular home appliances. Shall I cook you something.
- Chad Finletter: No. Thank you.
- Tara: How 'bout a blow job, maybe iron your pants?
- Jim Richardson: [to camera] I will not be mocked any longer! I was the star in the first picture, how dare you give me two lousy lines in this picture! I want my agent, I want my publicist, I...
- [Finletter knocks him out]
- Professor Gangreen: Tara is missing! I have worked for years, months, days, minutes, SECONDS to create the perfect woman!
- Matt Stevens: [sings] Oh Rosanna don't ya cry for me. Cos I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee. I do not know the rest of the words, I think I'll make them up. I'm going to walk into my home and wake my best friend up.
- Professor Gangreen: Igor! Come!
- [a handsome blonde man enters]
- Igor: Sir, I am happy to respond to your call and...
- Professor Gangrene: Oh cut it out! I know you're only hanging around here until something opens up in the TV news field, but do you know how embarrassing it is that a villain of MY stature has an assistant that looks like you?
- Professor Gangrene: My tomatoes can be made to look like anyone. A police chief, a congress man... the president himself! We... will... not... fail... AGAIN!