Torch Song Trilogy (1988)

Brian Kerwin: Ed

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ed : Whoops.

  Arnold : Whoops? Ed, did you say "whoops"? No, Ed. "Whoops" is when you fall down an elevator shaft. "Whoops" is when you skinny-dip in a school of piranha. "Whoops" is when you accidentally douche with Drano! No, Ed. This was no "whoops." This was an AAAAAAAAAAAAAHA-HA-HA-HA!

• Ed : I can't believe you're STILL mad.

  Arnold : I ain't STILL mad... this here is BRAND NEW!

• Ed : 'Casual'? We've known each other for nine years!

  Arnold : Seven of which you spent with another woman.

• Ed : Care to talk about it?

  Arnold : I am upset, I am uptight, I am up to my nipples in Southern Comfort, and you're trying to take advantage of me.

  [He sprawls in Ed's lap] 

  Arnold : Fine!

• Ed : You know, I'm not sure the sex we had was always as good for me as it was for you. Sometimes it was a little wild, out of control.

  Arnold : And that's... bad?

  Ed : It's not what I want.

  Arnold : Funny. It's what I pray for.

• Ed : I want another chance with you, Arnold.

  [Arnold reacts] 

  Ed : Arnold, I'm forty years old. You know what that means? It's time for me to stop screwing around. This time I've spent with you and David is the closest thing to whatever it is I want.

• Ed : Why don't you ask Arnold? I'm sure he has lots to say on the subject.

  Alan : He says you're a boring, self-centered, insensitive old fool who wouldn't know love if it wore wings, diaper, and shot heart-shaped arrows at your butt.

• Ed : Did anyone every tell you you have a really sexy voice? Is that natural or do you have a cold?

• Arnold : You can't expect me to sit around all the time waiting for you to call.

  Ed : Oh, I never asked you to. I told you to go out, have a good time, meet other people.

  Arnold : I can't. I'm not built that way.

  Ed : Well, I'm just not ready to make that kind of commitment.

  Arnold : I'm not asking you to. But if I have to accept you going out, then you have to accept that I'm not.

• Ed : Oh, you are really draggin' me over the coals!

  Arnold : Well why should I be the only one around here with a barbecued ass?