Photos
Quotes
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Capt. Logan : I want to speak with you, son.
[looks at Bill]
Capt. Logan : Alone, please, Bill.
[Bill goes outside]
Capt. Logan : All right, sit down. What am I gonna do with you, huh? You can't be...
Bill : [outside] Great.
Capt. Logan : You lose my keys, you fail history, you spend all your time with your loser friend planning a band that'll never happen. Now, you're not to leave this house again until tomorrow morning.
[the phone rings]
Capt. Logan : Yes?
Bill : Captain Logan? This is Deputy Van Halen down at the station.
Capt. Logan : Deputy Van Halen?
[Ted sees Bill on the phone outside]
Bill : I'm new dude - sir. Look, we found your keys. If you want 'em, better come and get 'em.
[hangs up]
Capt. Logan : When I get back from the station, I want you packed and ready to go. Got it?
[Ted nods; Capt. Logan leaves]
Ted : [outside] We are in serious trouble. My dad already signed me up, my plane leaves tommorow night.
Bill : Only if we fail, dude.
[they look at the phone booth]
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[Captain Logan is questioning Abraham Lincoln]
Capt. Logan : All right, what's your name?
Abraham Lincoln : Abraham Lincoln. That's L-I-N-C-O-L-N.
Capt. Logan : I know how to spell Lincoln. What's your birthday, Mr. Lincoln?
Abraham Lincoln : February 12... 1809.
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Capt. Logan : You pack your bags, Ted.
Ted : What?
Capt. Logan : You're going to military school, Ted.
Ted : But, Dad...
Capt. Logan : [interrupting] No, I don't wanna hear it, Ted.
Ted : But...
Capt. Logan : Ted! You go home and pack your bags now!
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Captain Logan : [Captain Logan sees Bill and Ted pushing Billy the Kid out of the prison block window] Ted, what in the hell do you think you're doing?
Ted : Trash can... remember a trash can!
Captain Logan : Trash can? What are you talking about...
[a trash can with "Wyld Stallyans Rule" written on the side lands on Captain Logan's head]
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Ted : What are you doin' home, Dad?
Capt. Logan : I'm looking for my keys.
Ted : Oh!
Capt. Logan : You haven't done anything with them, have ya?
Ted : No, sir.
Capt. Logan : I spoke to your principal today, Ted. He said you're failing history.
Ted : Me and Bill...
Capt. Logan : He also said that if you fail history, you flunk out of school. You know what that would mean, don't ya, Ted?
Ted : That I would have to go to Oates Military Acadamy, sir.
Capt. Logan : Uh-huh. I spoke to Colonel Oates this morning. He's anxious to meet you, Ted.