Columbo (TV Series)

Columbo Goes to the Guillotine (1989)

James Greene: Bert Spindler

Quotes 

• Bert Spindler : [holds up a drink in a toast]  To Max the Magnificent.

  Lt. Columbo : To Max, sir, and all these tricks, you know how they all work?

  Bert Spindler : That's my job. A very beautiful and ancient art.

  Lt. Columbo : And the uh, mind reading part, how did that all work?

  Bert Spindler : Consultant; universities, corporations, government agencies. Exposing those ESP people. He even wrote a book on it: 'Dyson on Mind Reading.' Max was so good himself, he never found a psychic who wasn't a fake. Until yesterday.

  Lt. Columbo : Is that a fact, sir?

  Bert Spindler : He conducted a big test out at some think tank institute. Really shook him up.

• Bert Spindler : He was loved. Well, not by those mind readers and psychics; they weren't so crazy about him, once he got on their case. But magicians loved him. I loved him.

  Lt. Columbo : I've never seen so many wonderful tricks. Those beautiful Chinese rings, and that terrific birdcage. Once, on a vacation with Mrs. Columbo, I saw a magician make a tiger disappear right out of the ring, but I've never seen a trick like that guillotine trick upstairs. That must be some dangerous trick.

  Bert Spindler : Not if you're careful. Max built in some safeguards, made it all foolproof.

  Lt. Columbo : What happened to Max, that didn't look very foolproof. How do you explain that?

  Bert Spindler : Are you sure you won't join me, Lieutenant?

  Lt. Columbo : No, thank you very much, sir.

  Bert Spindler : Max must have gotten careless. Forgot to lock in the safety bolt.