Creative Movie Marketing presents 'Night Life.' It sounds like a Ponzi scheme.
The movie starts out with Richard Marx from that "Hazard" music video looking at a dead corpse in a morgue. Yeah, that very one he swore he left by the river. The victim has that whole 'Red Dragon' reflective mirror in its eyes, as Marx isn't too fond of the victims watching his handy work or something.
Marx throws a severed hand away in a bucket, and excuse me for saying, but that bucket came in handy! Yuck, yuck, yuck.
Meanwhile, outside, Roger and Joni are making out, and the dude resembles Slider at first. "Don't make me bust you up, man."
So, it's neither Slider nor Richard Marx.
There's similarities to the 'Karate Kid' scenario to kick the movie off, where jocks rule the hallways and Rupert Grint is singled out. Only ten minutes into the movie, and Grint is looking for a shortcut back to Newark again and is driven off a cliff.
Unless these jocks repeated three times, why are they in Rupert Grint's classes?
And as if a junior high student would be a medical assistant.
A lot lizard thumbs a ride out in the middle of nowhere - how'd she get out here in the first place? - and along comes Rupert Grint in a hearse and pays for the escort service, but ask me, and I'd tell you she's twice his age. Can't she see that he's underage?
Hmm, the movie's going 30 in a 100 zone. You want to step on it, please?
Keeping with the elderly theme, Grint then romanticizes a senior citizen corpse and has his way with her.
Is this a comedy?
It certainly ain't a horror movie.
Rupert Grint is found guilty of tampering with a corpse and fired on the spot, but pending an appeal, he's reinstated immediately as a corpse collector and dispatched immediately to fish out his four tormentors bodies, who all perished in a fatal car crash, which isn't shown.
I guess there'll be no All Valley Tournament at the end of this between Grint and Slider.
Do we really need this blow-by-blow in-depth autopsy procedure examination? They didn't show the car crashing, but they will go into great detail about a corpse on a gurney tray.
I did a traineeship in a hospital back in '93, where they prepped us for operation theater observation in that thick blue smock and surgical mask. (Used to be a dark green smock.)
Long story short, I didn't make it in there. I pretty much got cold feet, wigged out, and practically fainted. I never returned either. I asked to be transferred to the kitchen, and washed plates and potatoes for the rest of my sentence.
I don't know what to make of this movie. It's not horror; there's comedy, but it's morbid and direct in its medical terminology.
This movie is like a pizza served in three portions. The first part was school introductions, personalities, and backgrounds. The second piece was education about funeral home procedures, and the third slice is where the movie fails as it just turns into another 'Night of the Living Dead' zombie walkathon. Been there, done that.
A thunderstorm rages, and lightning causes a bit of Jason Lives electricity to jumpstart the dead bodies back to life.
The rain is a good addition to the movie, and it'd be better to watch this movie when it's pouring late at night, but 'Return of the Living Dead 2' is far superior to this one.
That exploding cabbage guy near the end of 'Big Trouble in Little China' looked fake when he bloated, but the one in this looked half real.
So, Rupert Grint is chased around town by four dead zombies and winds up in a high school basement, or Freddy's boiler room, and Kruger has already educated us that you can't kill the dead by fire.
It takes an out-of-control BNSF locomotive from 'Under Siege 2' to wipe out the four zombies. No doubt there'll be a little 'Sometimes They Come Back' about this movie, as evident by Rupert Grint being chased around the swamp by the dead after the train collision.
Yep, they are indeed back again and have dragged Grint to a cemetery.
So, just how do you dispose of these zombies in this movie?
A handgun and fire? We have already tried fire.
There are shades of 'Drag Me to Hell' in that body-pit scene.
Grint's up to his neck in that six-foot hole.
If the dead are dead, how do you kill them?
What, with a jerrycan grenade?
Again, fire is employed for the third time, but I believe it works this time.
The movie's fine, but there's something a little stillborn about it. It kind of lacks fluent continuity, and I put it down to the miscasting of the main child actor, Rupert Grint. He seems a little too young for this more senior role.
Who should have been cast for his role is Keith Coogen. It would have been more believable.
I see the Irish band Fastway contributed a song for the movie. They provided the soundtrack for 1986's 'Trick or Treat.'
That's what was missing in 'Night Life,' a proper eerie score.
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