- Giles Redferne: [admonishing Kassandra after stopping her crashing the car] Let your attention lie before you, not beside you.
- Kassandra: Check this! Some guy from the seventeenth century telling ME how to drive. How quick they learn!
- Warlock: [placing a hex on Kassandra] Tout, Tout, through and about; your callow life in dismay. Rentum, Osculum, Tormentum: a decade twice over a day.
- [upon meeting Redferne in the present day]
- Warlock: Of all the curiosities here I've seen, none have surprised me more than this.
- Little Boy: You tellin' me you're a witch? You ain't no witch! Witches are girls!
- Warlock: Some are men.
- Little Boy: Yeah? So where's your broomstick?
- Flight Attendant: [pointing to Giles' weathervane] Can I take that for you?
- Giles Redferne: Over my rotting corpse!
- Little Boy: [watching the Warlock play a handheld football game] Hey, you can't punt on first down. Nobody does that, not even Tampa Bay!
- Pastor: Can I ask what your interest is in finding such a book?
- Giles Redferne: Our interest lies in stopping those who would see all good falter. It lies in stopping the powers of misrule from coming of age. It lies in finding that damned book, and thwarting a vile beast of a man who shall not rest until God himself is thrown down, and all of creation becomes Satan's black hell-besmeared farting hole!
- Kassandra: You asked.
- Giles Redferne: [sternly] Lest you favor throttlings to the ears and face, bear west here.
- Cabbie: [to himself] They wonder why we hate the Lakers.
- [Kassandra has aged 20 years in a day after being cursed by the Warlock]
- Kassandra: Why couldn't he just kill me? Nothing could be worse than this!
- Giles Redferne: His very thought.
- Kassandra: [Having been told the Warlock's true goal] He scares the crap out of me... and he KNOWS it.
- Giles Redferne: I'll not let him harm you.
- Kassandra: Next time there won't be any spells, no hexes, no potions. Next time, he's gonna kill me.
- Giles Redferne: I'll not let him harm you.
- [He holds out Kassandra's car keys]
- Kassandra: [upon finding herself cursed with sudden aging] Twenty fuckin' years and not one party. What a total ass burr!
- Kassandra: [when they find Giles' coffin in 1989] At least you didn't have to open it. You didn't have to stare at your putrefied corpse, or anything.
- Farmer: Dad? What the devil do you think you're doing? Who are these people?
- Giles Redferne: If there are children present, make them absent.
- Mennonite: Take them, and leave.
- Farmer: Leave? Wait a minute, I got a schedule to keep here. I can't just traipse off and turn this place over to some...
- Mennonite: Listen to me. The horse that sweats in the morning. Cream that sours overnight. You know the signs. We both know.
- Giles Redferne: Of all ingredients used by a witch, the most coveted is human fat. If that fat is cut from an unbaptized male child, there is but one purpose - one thing is will beget.
- Kassandra: I'm listening.
- Giles Redferne: Flying potion.
- Giles Redferne: The spell book. All witches keep grimoires, yet one is indestructible, one is the bible of black magic - the Grand Grimoire. Always witches have lusted for it, and now, here, I find a page - one lone page!
- Giles Redferne: The warlock holds two parts of the book. This much he confessed. Know you what happens should he gain all three?
- Kassandra: I don't want to know. I don't.
- Giles Redferne: Hidden within that book is the name of God, the lost name of God.
- Kassandra: The lost name of... Huh-uh, I don't wanna hear this.
- Giles Redferne: 'Tis the name invoked during creation. Witches charge that should this name, this true name of God, be uttered back to front...
- Kassandra: I'm not listening.
- Giles Redferne: Should this name be uttered in reverse...
- Kassandra: [fingers in ears] Blah, blah, bah, blah, blah!
- Giles Redferne: ...all creation will undo. 'Twill reverse.
- Kassandra: Hey, you know the Earth is round?
- Giles Redferne: For some time, now!
- Kassandra: Ask me anything, I took two years of high school.