The Witches (1990)

Jane Horrocks: Miss Irvine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mr. Jenkins : Thought I'd like to say hello to a fellow philanthropist.

  Miss Ernst : You collect stamps?

  Mr. Jenkins : Charitees. This RSPCC.

  Miss Ernst : What is this RSP...?

  Miss Irvine : [whispers]  Cruelty to Children!

  Miss Ernst : Oh, of course, you give money for the little...

  [gags] 

  Miss Ernst : children. And... we of course... we also give money for the little...

  [Irvine holds out a basin for he. Jenkins throws some change into it] 

• Henrietta : Poisoned sweets? We'll wipe them out like weasels!

  Grand High Witch : Who spoke?

  Miss Irvine : [points at Henrietta and laughs]  She did!

  Henrietta : It's brilliant!

  Grand High Witch : Poisoned? And you don't mind getting caught, exposed, vilified?

  Henrietta : [nervously]  Well, I just thought...

  Grand High Witch : Mindless bumpkin! You blithering bogvumper!

  [Henrietta winces in fear] 

  Grand High Witch : No wonder that England is swarming with...

  [Eva takes a deep breath to keep her cool] 

  Grand High Witch : [now calm]  Everything you sell that day will have to be treated with my very latest and very greatest magic formula.

  [Eva holds out a tiny purple vial, Formula 86] 

  Grand High Witch : [points and shouts to enunciate at Henrietta]  Witches work only with magic!

• [after being rejected from the banquet] 

  Miss Irvine : I didn't want to be one of them anyway.

• Miss Ernst : What are you doing here?

  Miss Irvine : The banquet, Miss Ernst.

  Miss Ernst : No, no, no, no! You must go to your room and prepare for...

  Mr. Jenkins : Hello!

  Miss Ernst : ...tomorrow's flight. Yes.

  [Waves to Mr. Jenkins] 

  Miss Ernst : Have a good flight.

  Miss Irvine : But, it's our banquet!

  Miss Ernst : You are not here to enjoy yourself, you are here as my staff! Go to your room, NOW.

  [to the Witches at the table] 

  Miss Ernst : Ladies...

  Miss Irvine : [long pause after Eva Ernst walks off]  I quit.

• Marlene : [entering the room as they leave]  Evening, madam. Just popping in to turn down your bed.

  Miss Ernst : How is the room service here?

  Miss Irvine : Diabolical.

  Miss Ernst : Good.

  Miss Irvine : How do you know that woman upstairs?

  Miss Ernst : Come along. Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order.

  [as they walk downstairs the elevator chimes] 

• Miss Ernst : You may remove your shoes! You may remove your wigs!

  [Grabs her wig with one hand and pulls her face mask down to her eyebrows with the other] 

  Miss Ernst : The doors- are they locked and bolted?

  Miss Irvine : Locked and bolted, your Grandness.

  Miss Ernst : Good. Help.

• Miss Irvine : [to Luke's two mices]  Off you go, back home to Luke.