Critters 4 (1992)

Brad Dourif: Al Bert

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bert : Like my ex-wife. Anything I say, she does the opposite.

• Ethan : I guess Rick's had a little too much coffee again?

  Al Bert : Rick has got a bug up his butt. See. He's gone and discovered himself a magnetic space anomaly. And he's gotten stiff in the jock.

• Charlie : That's not normal.

  Al Bert : No shit, Sherlock.

  Charlie : No, I mean they don't usually turn from a fight. Or a meal.

• Fran : I thought you said there was no radiation danger.

  Al Bert : Well, Fran, maybe the nuclear core just changed its mind.

• Al Bert : Congratulations, Charlie, you have just murdered the ship.

• Fran : Asshole!

  Al Bert : Eh, Captain asshole.

• Rick : We got a goldmine here. I can smell it.

  Al Bert : I can sure smell something.

• Al Bert : Nuclear core is reading just shy of the red. Nearly to alert.

  Rick : Radiation?

  Al Bert : Negative. It looks more like natural decay. I'd give her about a month before we all glow in the dark.

  Bernie : Don't kind about shit like that. Just show me where the pharmacy is.

  Al Bert : What's the matter? Feeling a little bit under the weather there Bernie?

• Bernie : What's the matter?

  Fran : Rick! Cargo bay.

  Al Bert : Seems our fearless leader has some plans for Terracor's long-lost pod.

  Bernie : You mean steal it? Steal what's inside?

  Al Bert : Yup, leave us here counting R.E.M.s as we glow in the dark.

  Bernie : Scum bag. Are you sure?

• Al Bert : Rick and Bernie are dead. For all I know we may have been infected by some alien germ. So unless anyone else has another suggestion, I propose that we just hole up here and wait for them to come rescue us. They will be here any minute.

  Ethan : Yeah. If we don't blow up first.

• Al Bert : Angela; give me a deck by deck scan and read off all individuals not currently in main control.

  Angela : I do not recognize your voice pattern as one with security clearance...

  Al Bert : Great! Be a snotty TL54. Don't cooperate. Angela; give me security clearance to all levels, please.

  Angela : I can not conform to your request as I do not recognize your voice pattern as one with security clearance.

  Al Bert : Angela; do not, repeat, do not give me security clearance to all levels.

  Angela : You have security clearance at all levels.