Danielle Harris: Melissa
Photos
Quotes
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Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : You have spent over $3,000?
Zach Crandell , Kenny Crandell , Melissa Crandell , Walter Crandell : [sheepishly look at her]
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : You're grounded! You are ALL grounded! How could you steal from me?
Kenny Crandell : Well, now, they didn't really steal. They "borrowed". They were just following your irresponsible example.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Oh, shut up, Kenny! I am in deep SHIT!
Melissa Crandell : Quit your job. Get out while you can.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : I'm an embezzler. They're gonna throw me in prison.
Zach Crandell : Nah, the judge will probably go easy on you considering that you're a minor.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : I'm not gonna give up. I'll keep working. I'll... work overtime if I have to. A few more paychecks, I'll be able to put it back and no one's gonna know, right? I'm innocent!
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Melissa Crandell : How come you gotta go?
Mom : Because, I have had a very rough 37 years, and I need a break.
Melissa Crandell : You promised you'd sign me up for baseball!
Mom : Little League will be there next year.
Melissa Crandell : So will Australia! I wish Dad was around.
Mom : No you don't.
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Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : [searching the house for the money] She must've had it on her!
Melissa Crandell : Well it's ours! Go back and get it from the old hag!
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Oh yeah, we'll just go down there and say "excuse me, we left our money on our dead babysitter". No way!
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Zach Crandell : We told you to talk to her. We didn't want you to send her to the glue factory.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : I didn't kill her, Zach. She died in her sleep.
Melissa Crandell : Probably choked on her whistle.
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Kenny Crandell : Um... what should we do with her body?
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Call an ambulance, call the cops, I don't know. Well... I mean they're gonna come and get her and they're gonna ask us a lotta questions...
Kenny Crandell : They'll probably blame us.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : [scared of the thought] They'll definitely call Mom!
Melissa Crandell : SHE'LL blame us.
Kenny Crandell : Yeah, she'll hop the next flight home and then be in our faces.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : I don't want Mom to come home.
Zach Crandell : I don't either.
Melissa Crandell : No way.
Walter Crandell : Me too.
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Kenny Crandell : This place is a crock! We're never gonna make it through the summer. Man, I'm gonna hold up at Lizard's.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Oh, that's real brotherly of you Kenny. Always taking the easy way out. Don't you have any pride?
Kenny Crandell : No.
Melissa Crandell : I got an idea. When our food runs out, we can eat Elvis.
[the dog Elvis runs out of the room]
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Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Look, we are a family of felons. Our summer freedom's going to be a winter prison unless I get some help around here. I want the house spick-and-span by Saturday night or I'm turning us all in. Are you with me?
Kenny Crandell : Guys, what do you say?
Walter Crandell , Zach Crandell , Melissa Crandell : Yeah.
Kenny Crandell : Yeah? Come on, guys, what do you say?
Walter Crandell , Zach Crandell , Melissa Crandell : YEAH!
Kenny Crandell : YEAH! We're with you, Sue, ROCK AND ROLL!
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Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Melissa, it was your turn to take out the trash this week.
Melissa Crandell : Well I couldn't fit it into my schedule.
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Mrs. Sturak : Time for little girls to dress like little girls.
[angrily]
Mrs. Sturak : Sugar and spice!
Melissa Crandell : [Sticks up her middle finger at Mrs. Sturak who walks up the stairs]
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Melissa Crandell : We have to get up at the butt-crack of dawn to tidy up the garage!
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Kenny Crandell : What are we going to do for cash for the next two months?
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : What about a garage sale?
Kenny Crandell : We live in the boonies.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : What about calling Dad?
Kenny Crandell : Dad doesn't care.
Zach Crandell : What about blackmailing Dad?
Melissa Crandell : What about donating blood? Don't they pay you for that?
Kenny Crandell : You have to be over 18.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Well, there goes our great summer.
