My Own Private Idaho (1991)

River Phoenix: Mike Waters

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Quotes 

• Scott Favor : I only have sex with a guy for money.

  Mike Waters : Yeah, I know.

  Scott Favor : And two guys can't love each other.

  Mike Waters : Yeah.

  Mike Waters : Well, I don't know. I mean... I mean, for me, I could love someone even if I, you know, wasn't paid for it... I love you, and... you don't pay me.

  Scott Favor : Mike...

  Mike Waters : I really wanna kiss you, man... Well goodnight, man... I love you though... You know that... I do love you.

• Mike Waters : I love you, and you don't pay me.

• [last lines] 

  Mike Waters : I'm a connoisseur of roads. I've been tasting roads my whole life. This road will never end. It probably goes all around the world.

• Scott Favor : It's when you start doing things for free, that you start to grow wings. Isn't that right, Mike.

  Mike Waters : What?

  Scott Favor : Wings, Michael. You grow wings, and become a fairy.

• Mike Waters : [First lines, mumbled to self, counting seconds, looking at pocket watch]  5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...

  [Coughs] 

  Mike Waters : I always know where I am by the way that the road looks. Like I just know that I've been here before. I just know that I've been stuck here, like this one f**king time before, you know that? Yeah. There's not another road anywhere that looks like this road - I mean, exactly like this road. It's one kind of place. One of a kind... like someone's face...

  [cracks neck] 

  Mike Waters : like a f**ked up face.

• Mike Waters : This road never ends. It probably goes all around the world.

• Richard Waters : That guy. He was your real dad, Mike.

  Mike Waters : Don't fuck me in the head anymore man! I know the fucking truth! I know who my fucking real dad is!

  Richard Waters : Who?... Who?

  Mike Waters : Dick, you. Richard, you're my dad. I know that.

  Richard Waters : You know too much.

• Mike Waters : This is a nice home. Do you live here?... I don't blame you.

• Mike Waters : [in a coffee shop]  How'd we get home?

  Scott Favor : That German guy. Hans. He brought you downtown, you were passed out. He said he was heading to Portland, so I asked him for a ride.

  Mike Waters : For some reason I'm forgetting a German guy named Hans.

  Scott Favor : Well. You were sleeping.

  Mike Waters : How much do you make off me while I'm sleeping?

  Scott Favor : Just a ride, Mike. I don't make anything. What, you think that I sell your body while you are asleep?

  Mike Waters : Yeah.

  Scott Favor : [Scott stirs his coffee]  No, Mike. I'm on your side.

• Mike Waters : This chick's living in a new car ad.

• Mike Waters : I've been tasting roads my whole life.

• Bob Pigeon : Are you not a coward? Answer that, and that goes double!

  Mike Waters : You're calling me a coward? You fat duck!

  Bob Pigeon : I'd give a thousand dollars to be able to run as fast as you can.

  Mike Waters : It'll never happen Bob.

• Mike Waters : Walt.

  Walt : Yeah, Mike?

  Mike Waters : You think, um, that you could spot me ten more dollars?

  Walt : Ten dollars? What's the matter, you can't get it from your dad?

  Mike Waters : My dad and I don't get along too well, you know that Walt.

  Walt : We're not getting along that well either now, are we?

  Mike Waters : No we don't get along too well... or else he wouldn't have gone out and drowned himself at Boxcar Canyon.

  Walt : Again? He hit the water this time?

  Mike Waters : He survived the first time, this time...

  Walt : Oh, God.

  Mike Waters : You're the only one I can ask, you know that Walt! Please! I'll owe you a date, how about that? I'll owe you a date. Pleeeeeeeease.

  Walt : Oh God, tears crying, hold on. Here you go.

  [slides money under the door] 

  Mike Waters : Thanks!

• Scott Favor : Getting away from everything feels good.

  Mike Waters : Yeah, it does.

  Scott Favor : When I left home, the maid asked me where I was off to. I said "Wherever. Whatever. Have a nice day."

  Mike Waters : You had a maid. If I had a normal family, and a good up-bringing, then I would have been a well-adjusted person.

  Scott Favor : It depends on what you call normal.

  Mike Waters : Yeah, it does. Well, you know. Normal. Like a mom and a dad and a dog, and shit like that. Normal. Normal.

  Scott Favor : So, you didn't have a normal dog?

  Mike Waters : No, I didn't have a dog.

  Scott Favor : Didn't... or... didn't have a normal dad?

  Mike Waters : Didn't have a dog or a normal dad anyway, yeah. That's alright. I don't feel sorry for myself. I mean, I feel like I'm... I feel like I'm... you know... well-adjusted.

• Daddy Carroll : I am so lucky, i was born on April 4th 1944, thats 4.4.44, if you add that up it comes to 16: 1-6, one plus six is seven: luckiest number of all.

  Mike Waters : You know your Math.

  Daddy Carroll : It's more than math Mike, it's... imaculate perfection!

• Gary : Hey man, did you get into that Sinead O'Connor concert last night?

  Mike Waters : To the Sinead? What?

  Gary : You know, the chick with the bald head.

  Mike Waters : I've never been to a concert before, dude.

• Mike Waters : [shouting at rabbit on roadside]  Oooh-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! Where do you think you're running, man? We're stuck here together, you s**t!