Captain Ron (1992)

Kurt Russell: Captain Ron

Photos 

Quotes 

• Caroline Harvey : Captain Ron, I was wondering. Are we going to be going to any more "human" type places?

  Captain Ron : Well, you heard of St. Croix?

  Caroline Harvey : Yeah.

  Captain Ron : We're going to the island just to the left of it.

  Caroline Harvey : What's it called?

  Captain Ron : Ted's.

• Captain Ron : Alright, that's more like it, now you're talking! You can do it, mates! I've never seen such sailors. Not in all my born days, I ain't. Naturals! My God, everyone of you, naturals...

  [beat; to himself] 

  Captain Ron : We're gonna fucking die!

• [as Ben, who's 12, moves Captain Ron's beer] 

  Captain Ron : Hey. Get your hands off that.

  Benjamin Harvey : I was just moving it. I wasn't gonna drink it.

  Captain Ron : You bet your little booty, you wasn't. You want a beer, you get your own beer.

• Captain Ron : [telling how he lost his eye]  Yeah, it happened when I went down off the coast of Australia.

  Katherine Harvey : Your boat sank?

  Captain Ron : No, no, no, no. Not my boat. My boss's boat. Yeah, we hit this reef. Huge son-of-a-bitch. Ran the whole coast.

  Katherine Harvey : Wait. The Great Barrier Reef?

  Captain Ron : You've heard of it, huh? Smart lady.

• [Lost in a heavy storm] 

  Captain Ron : The boss is right. We should be okay. 'Cause I know we're near land.

  Martin Harvey : Great, Cap. Great. Ya hear that? We're almost there. Explain to the kids how you know that, Captain Ron. Someone translate for General Armando.

  Captain Ron : Alright, now stay with me: When we left, we had just enough fuel to make it to San Juan. And now... we are out of fuel!

• Captain Ron : Hey! Uh, leg feels a lot better now, boss. I always been a fast healer, you know. 'Course I believe in Jesus, so that helps.

• Benjamin Harvey : Man. What happened to your eye?

  Martin Harvey : Ben.

  Katherine Harvey : Sweetie, that's rude.

  Captain Ron : No, that's alright. Shark attack, swab.

  Benjamin Harvey : A shark ate your eye?

• Captain Ron : [after losing his glass eye]  It never did fit anyway. Guess you gotta get 'em custom made.

• Martin Harvey : [Walks down to the Ship's Cabin]  What's this?

  Caroline Harvey : Monopoly.

  Martin Harvey : No, this.

  [Holding a handgun] 

  Benjamin Harvey : Two .45's and a Mac-10.

  Caroline Harvey : It's this total macho trip, Dad, just ignore it.

  Martin Harvey : Where'd they come from?

  Benjamin Harvey : Captain Ron traded the Guerrillas for 'em.

  Captain Ron : Yeah, I thought we'd ought to have them, Boss. Cause, you know, we're gettin' into pirate waters, here, pretty quick.

  Martin Harvey : What pirates?

  Captain Ron : Pirates, of the Caribbean.

  Martin Harvey : Been to Disney World, one too many times? Have we, Captain Ron?

  Benjamin Harvey : It's true, Dad! They come up on you in high speed boats!

  Captain Ron : You know, I don't believe I've been to Disney World...

  [Interrupted by Martin Harvey] 

  Captain Ron : I've been to DollyWood.

• Captain Ron : Captain Ron: A diesel loves her oil same as a sailor loves rum

• Captain Ron : Hey, you wouldn't be trying to cheat Captain Ron there, would you, swab?

  Benjamin Harvey : Uh, no sir. Uh, so what happened?

  Captain Ron : Ah, nothing. They were just playing hide-the-salami in the shower

  Captain Ron : [Ben spits his beer up]  Oh, come on, man!

• Martin Harvey : [stressing to his family that they need to learn all the things about seamanship that Capt. Ron is trying to drill into them]  You gotta' learn the basics.

  Captain Ron : And, you gotta' be prepared.

  Martin Harvey : That's right...

  Captain Ron : I'm not talkin' Boy Scout prepared, I mean *big-time* prepared.

  Martin Harvey : [downplaying it]  Well, prepared for any kind of *normal* accident...

  Captain Ron : This is the Caribbean, guys. "El Caribe." The Spanish Main. The land of hoo-doo and voodoo and all kinda' weird shit.

  Benjamin Harvey : Whoa!

• Captain Ron : [to Ben]  Hey swab. C'mere. Listen up. Now, the way it works shipboard is, you do your job. You do it good, you get a better job. Maybe you get promoted from swab to mate.

  [Ben nods] 

  Captain Ron : Alright. Get on it.

  Captain Ron : [to Martin]  Sort've an incentive kind of a deal, huh?

  Martin Harvey : Ah. Good.

  Captain Ron : Yeah, incentives are important. I learned that in rehab.

• Martin Harvey : Slow down! There's boats all over the place!

  Captain Ron : Don't worry. They'll get out of the way. I learned that driving the Saratoga.

• [being chased by pirates] 

  Benjamin Harvey : All right! They're pirates of the Caribbean, just like you said Captain Ron.

  Captain Ron : Yeah, squirt. Pirates are easy to deal with. It's the Cuban cops that you gotta worry about. Grand theft auto is a major biggie here in Cuba.

  Martin Harvey : Grand theft auto? You stole this car?

  Captain Ron : Nah, I didn't steal it, boss. I borrowed it. Sort of...

• Captain Ron : [Captain Ron and Benjamin are playing Monopoly for money]  Three houses, 375! That's 37 cents.

  Benjamin Harvey : Well that's... half the money I have left.

  Captain Ron : Yeah, shit happens. Cough it up.

• Benjamin Harvey : What about your other eye?

  Captain Ron : Glass, swab.

  Benjamin Harvey : Too cool!

  Captain Ron : Yeah. I won it in a crap game a few years back.

• Captain Ron : The leg feel's lot better now, Boss. I always been a fast healer. Ya know, 'course I believe in Jesus, so that helps.