Encino Man (1992)

Pauly Shore: Stoney Brown

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stoney : If you're edged 'cause I'm weazin all your grindage, just chill. 'Cause if I had the whole brady bunch thing happenin' at my pad, I'd go grind over there, so dont tax my gig so hard-core cruster.

• Dave : The only thing you have ever cared about was nugs, chillin' and grindage.

  Stoney : Yeah? Well, I happen to care right now!

  Dave : THAT'S convenient. You came along for the ride, and you let ME do the dirty work... 'cause you thought it might work out to your advantage.

  Stoney : [as Dave walks off]  Those are desperate words of a LOSER. Maybe Matt Wilson was right about you all along.

  Dave : [turning to face him]  Take that back, Stoney.

  Stoney : No, YOU take that back!

  Dave : [shoves Stoney]  TAKE IT BACK!

  [they start fighting, Dave takes Stoney to the ground] 

  Stoney : You're a loser.

  Link : [as he separates them]  FAMILY!

  Dave : [Link restrains Dave]  All right! I'm sorry.

  Link : Family.

• [repeated line] 

  Stoney : Meat group!

• Stoney : Um, Robyn Sweeney, bro? She's not going to the prom with you, man. I wish she would, but she's really not.

  Dave : What are you talking about? Robyn Sweeney is mine. She's become a major babe, and she loves me.

  Stoney : She finds you crusty, Dave.

  Dave : I'll convince her! She'll see the truth.

  Stoney : The truth is bro, life's about greasing the 'do back, buddy, and wheezin' on the buff-fest, man. High school was interesting, alright? It was kinda like a harsh ride. Ah, ah...

  Stoney : [howls twice] 

  Stoney : We're going on to bigger and better things, buddy!

  Dave : Stoney, I am on to bigger and better things!

• Dave : Matt Wilson? I mean, what a jerk! What does she see in him, anyway?

  Stoney : Well, he's got the buff spikes chillin' on top of his melon, obviously, right?, - dude, he's checking her cheeks! oh oh! - he's got the serious beak, and his own personal holding company full of fundage, bro, that he weases off of ma... ma...

  Dave : [finishing the phrase]  ... jor.

  Stoney : 18-inch bi's - mine are only 4...

  Dave : ...besides that.

  Stoney : He walks like this, right?.

  [struts in a manly fashion] 

  Stoney : Just like this, right? The nugs fully loose.

• Stoney : [a car horn is heard]  Your parents!

  Dave : My parents!

  Link : AHH!

• [repeated line] 

  Stoney : Bud-dy!

• Stoney : I'm not a geek, I'm a unique weasel.

• Dave : Stop! Stop, where did you go? You just took off after school. Do you know how worried I've been?

  Stoney : God, Dave, you sound like my Mom.

  Dave : God, you can't do that to me.

  [looking more closely at Link] 

  Dave : What's on his Nose?

  Stoney : Ya know what, Dave, just Chill, 'cause you know why? Link and I had a Stoney time at the Mountain.

  Dave : You took him to Mega Mountain? Are you crazy?

  Stoney : Yeah, 'cause they're ridin' The Vapor in reverse.

  Dave : They are?

  Stoney : Unh-huh!

  Dave : Oh, cool!

  Link : Check out Fresh Nugs, wheezin' the juice...

  Stoney , Link : [howling together]  Oooooooowwwwww! Bud-dy!

• Stoney : I hope he doesn't gnaw on our beaks.

• Dave : He melted...

  Stoney : Dave, it wasn't meant to happen. Come on, I'll go buy you some Ho-Ho's.

• Stoney : Look, Dave, you're gonna have to just mellow out, bro, on this whole Robyn thing, she always shines you.

  Dave : You don't understand; we have history.

  Stoney : Hey, you had history: pre-freshman history. Could've had her back then, man.

  Dave : She hadn't hit babehood yet!

• Stoney : Today, buddy, we're gonna discuss grindage. How to fill the furnace, pack the cheeks, and stuff the gills. Okay? You're probably used to eatin' twigs, right?

  [Link grabs a banana] 

  Stoney : But out here in the US of A-age, buddy, we got somethin' called the Four Basic Food Groups.

  [Stoney seizes the banana] 

  Stoney : And, Link, this is not one of them.

  [walks Link to the candy section] 

  Stoney : Look at what we have here: dairy group. Milk Duds. You hide these under your pillow, bro, so your mom doesn't find them. If she does, you're tweaked, buddy. OK, keep on cruisin'. Fruit group. SweeTARTS. These are killer, buddy. So citrusy, dude, you'll freak. Keep on cruisin'. Hi, this is the vegetable group. *Vegetable* group. Corn Nuts. Oh, put 'em on a pedestal, bro. Look at that, yeah. Those are kill, huh?

  [microwave rings] 

  Stoney : Meat group! Come on, check the meat group!

  [retrieves burrito from microwave] 

  Stoney : These are my favorite!

  [Link grabs the burrito from Stoney] 

  Stoney : Hey! Don't-- you gotta be equal! Equals. Fifty-fifty. Here.

  [tears burrito in half; both take a bite and then spit out in disgust] 

  Stoney : Ew! Figures: hot on the outside, icicle in the middle.

• Stoney : Far too much responsibility for me, anyways, I'm already popular!

  Dave : Yeah, you travel in large groups of one, Stoney.

• Stoney : David please do me a favor and stress less bro face high school is over and face it were losers.

• Stoney : Ow, my pancreas!