Double, Double Toil and Trouble (1993 TV Movie)

Gary Jones: Bernard Brewster

Quotes 

• Bernard Brewster : Howdy, Bernard Brewster. Real-Estate Division, National General Bank.

  [Shakes Christine's hand] 

  Bernard Brewster : You must be Mrs. Farmer. So glad to meet you.

  [Enters the house] 

  Christine Farmer : What can I do for you?

  Bernard Brewster : Well, you know, seeing as you're going in foreclosure on Monday, I thought I'd come by, take a little advanced peek and... this must be the living room.

  [Sees Don off-screen] 

  Bernard Brewster : Howdy, Bernard Brewster. Real-Estate Division, National General Bank. Did you decorate this room yourself?

  Don Farmer : [Confused]  Uh, yes we did. But...

  Bernard Brewster : Nothing a little paint won't fix up.

  Don Farmer : Hold on! What?

  [Makes a "Who is this guy" expression] 

  Don Farmer : You can't just come in here! Did you call?

  [Follows Bernard] 

  Bernard Brewster : [Examines the twins' room; Norman barks]  It'll look a lot bigger when all the uh... toys are cleared out.

  Kelly Farmer : What do you mean, cleared out?

  Bernard Brewster : Hey, aren't you two cute? Hey, two... cute. Ha ha ha. I think I'm seeing double.

  Don Farmer : [Grabs Bernard]  That's it. Out.

  Bernard Brewster : [while being escorted out]  Hey, what's your problem?

  Don Farmer : Out!

  Bernard Brewster : Hey look, come on, give me a break.

  Don Farmer : Listen, pal, the Real-Estates Division of National General Bank isn't giving me any breaks. Now get out of here, and don't come back without an appointment!

  [Long silence. The twins look at Christine and Don, confused] 

  Don Farmer : Family conference time.

  [Cuts to the living room] 

  Don Farmer : So, what all that stuff means is... because we've had these problems making the payments, the bank wants to take back the house and sell it. But Daddy is not going to let that happen.

  Lynn Farmer : But why didn't you tell us? I thought we're all supposed to share our problems.

  Kelly Farmer : Yeah, everybody says so. Phil Donahue, Oprah...

  Lynn Farmer : Sally Jessy, Larry King...

  Kelly Farmer : [Pats her on the shoulder]  I think they get the point.

  Christine Farmer : We didn't want you to worry. And we were hoping we'd be able to get the money soon. We even tried asking Aunt Agatha for a loan.

  [Turns to Don] 

  Christine Farmer : If only Aunt Sofia were here. She'd help us.

  Kelly Farmer : But we don't want to leave this house.

  Lynn Farmer : Where will we go?

  Don Farmer : [Walks towards the twins to cheer them up]  Hey! Hey! We'll figure something out, huh?We'll improvise.