The Critic (1994–2001)

Jon Lovitz: Jay Sherman, Woody Allen, Jon Lovitz, Michael Dukakis, Babbling Brook, Goblin of Griffindor, Harvey Fierstein, Herb Wrathberg, Look-a-like contest winner, Man with moustache, Rabbi

Quotes 

• Theater Employee : Excuse me sir, the show is over.

  Jay Sherman : But I have nowhere to go...

• Jay Sherman : [finishing a movie review]  ... and that's why Goldie Hawn should be shot!

• [repeated line] 

  Jay Sherman : It stinks!

  [repeated line] 

  Jay Sherman : Hotchie Motchie!

• Theater Clerk : Excuse me, the show's over.

  Alice Tompkins : Get away, pipsqueak!

  Jay Sherman : That's why I love her!

• [End Credits] 

  Usher : Excuse me, sir. The show's over.

  Jay Sherman : Is the snack bar still open?

• Jay Sherman : Celebrity voices are impersonated. No celebrities were harmed in the filming of this episode.

• Jay Sherman : [Driving a truck]  I've got to keep driving, I can't stop for anything!

  Roadside Farmer : Meet Ingmar Bergman, 25 cents!

  Jay Sherman : [Disappointed]  Oh...

  [Keeps on driving] 

  Roadside Farmer : [to Bergman]  Well, you'd best get back to the strawberry patch with Polanski and Bertolucci.

• Theater Employee : Excuse me, sir. The movie's over.

  Jay Sherman : I'm stuck in the chair!

• Alice Thompkins : Listen to your heart.

  Jay Sherman : Everybody always says that.

  Jay's Stomach : Nobody ever listens to me!

• [repeated line] 

  Jay Sherman : Aw-kward.