Muriel's Wedding (1994)

Toni Collette: Muriel

Photos 

19 more photos

Quotes 

• Muriel : When I lived in Porpoise Spit, I used to sit in my room for hours and listen to ABBA songs. But since I've met you and moved to Sydney, I haven't listened to one Abba song. That's because my life is as good as an Abba song. It's as good as Dancing Queen.

• David : What kind of person marries someone they don't know?

  Muriel : You did.

  David : I want to win. All my life I've wanted to win.

  Muriel : Me too.

• Muriel : I can't stay married to you, David. I have to stop lying now. I've told so many lies... I don't love you.

  David : I don't love you either, but I think I could like having you around.

• [last lines] 

  Muriel , Rhonda : Goodbye, Porpoise Spit!

• Muriel : He said if I ever left him, he would find out who I was living with and shoot them. Then, he'd shoot me, then himself.

  Rhonda : Shit, he really loved you, didn't he?

• Muriel : Bikkie?

  Brice : Maybe after... I mean later.

• Muriel : When I lived in Porpoise Spit, no one looked at me. But when I moved to Sydney, Brice asked me out and that proves that I changed and I'm not her anymore.

  Rhonda : Her?

  Muriel : Muriel! Muriel Heslop. Stupid, fat and useless. I hate her! I'm never going back to being her again! Why can't it be me? Why can't I be the one?

• Rhonda : I've seen your book. You've tried on every dress in Sydney!

  Muriel : That doesn't mean I'm gonna get married.

  Rhonda : Then what DOES it mean?

  Muriel : It means I WANT to get married. I've always wanted to get married.

• Rhonda : Are you Muriel Heslop?

  Muriel : No.

  Rhonda : Yes, you are!

  Muriel : Why?

  Rhonda : I dunno why, you just are.

• Coach Ken Blundell : Mariel, you've probably seen the news about the civil war in South Africa. Well, just as the South Africans seem to be doing the right thing by the blacks, the police open fire on a black soccer club, and that is bad news for David.

  Muriel : [to David, who is clearly a white South African]  Are you black?

  David : What?

• Bill : After she failed high school, I get her into a secretarial course run by a mate of mine. $300 a term. Two years, $2,000. She comes out, she can't even type.

  Muriel : I could type.

  Bill : Then I get her a job at me solicitor's. After a month, Stevie Mason rings up and says he'll have to let her go 'cause she can't type.

  Muriel : If I couldn't type, why did they give me my secretarial diploma?

  Bill : Because I paid for it!

• Nicole : People invite us to parties because they know we have a good time. We're mad.

  Janine : Pah-ty, pah-ty, pah-ty.

  Nicole : It's our ee-mage.

  Muriel : We're mad!