Gensomaden Saiyuki (2000–2001)
Illich Guardiola: Gojyo
Quotes
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Sha Gojyo : [cracks open a beer and takes a swig] Goddamn it, this one's hot. Goku, get me another beer.
Goku : Get your own beer, jerkoff!
Sha Gojyo : Okay, you're gonna get me another beer or I'm gonna take this can and shove it up your whiney little ass! You got that?
Goku : You just try and see what happens, ya shithead!
Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah?
Goku : You're just looking for an excuse to touch my ass, aren't you?
Genjo Sanzo : [sighs] Please ...
Sha Gojyo : You little fag! Don't project your fantasies on me!
Goku : All right, that's it! Pull over, I'm taking him out!
Genjo Sanzo : Your little unrequited love affair is starting to get on my nerves! Get a room!
[Gojyo and Goku fall silent]
Cho Hakkai : Good move there, uh, Sanzo.
Genjo Sanzo : I thought so, thanks.
Cho Hakkai : Oh, my, awful quiet back there guys. Are you two making out?
Sha Gojyo : Shut up, Hakkai.
Goku : Yeah, shut up.
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Goku : [laughing] You, a holy man? Yeah, right!
Sha Gojyo : [laughing, mimicking Yoh] I cannot tell you what this means to me. Do no hesitate to call my name!
Cho Hakkai : [laughing] You know what this means, don't you?
[the three become very serious]
Goku , Sha Gojyo , Cho Hakkai : He doesn't know you very well.
[they break into laughter again]
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Sha Gojyo : Stupid monkey, get your own food.
Goku : Leave me alone, you pervy water sprit!
Genjo Sanzo : [pulls out gun and start shoting] Will you both shut the hell up?
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Goku : Oh, great, the carnival's in town.
Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah. I'd like to show a couple of those little carnival hotties what kind of action's going on under my big top.
Cho Hakkai : [blows a whistle] Too much information!
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Sha Gojyo : Sweetheart, when it comes to my women, I'm picky.
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[a demon flies into the hall through Goku's closed door]
Cho Hakkai : Are you all right, Goku?
Goku : [sleepily] Wha? I'm fine. I had the weirdest dream.
Cho Hakkai : More like a nightmare, my friend.
Sha Gojyo : He did this in his sleep? That's bullshit.
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Sha Gojyo : [analyzing their foe] So, whadda ya think, Goku?
Goku : Seems like an asshole and he's got bad hair. I say minus twenty points.
Cho Hakkai : Take off another fifteen. His clothes are lame and he smells.
Monk 3, Demon 3 : [laughing until he realizes they're talking about him] Huh? How dare you! How dare you mock me!
Goku : Oh! Dude! Bad teeth! Take off another five!
[the demon throws his ax at Gojyo and misses]
Sha Gojyo : Bad aim. That's another ten.
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Sha Gojyo : So ya wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes, do ya?
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Sha Gojyo : Man, this giant shitpile ain't easy to break into. It's tough.
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[three shots fire]
Genjo Sanzo : Will you two shut up? Do you wanna die?
[three more shots fire]
Genjo Sanzo : Now if you are quite finished, will you sit down?
Goku : But, Sanzo!
Sha Gojyo : This monkey...
Genjo Sanzo : Shut up!
Resturaunt Patron : Hey, isn't that a monk's robe he's got on?
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Goku : But there are still some spring rolls left!
Sha Gojyo : Beer!
Cho Hakkai : Yes, yes, I know. But if we don't hurry, Sanzo really will shoot us.
Goku : Spring rolls!
Sha Gojyo : Beer!
Genjo Sanzo : Slowpokes!
[fires two shots]
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Hotel Clerk : I know, I have an idea. How about I lay a bunch of blankets on the floor for you guys and you can all sleep together.
Genjo Sanzo , Sha Gojyo , Goku , Cho Hakkai : Sleep together?
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Hotel Clerk : [after opening the door and finding Goku pinned under Gojyo on the bed] Oh, sorry. I'll just leave this right here.
[leaves and shuts the door]
Hotel Clerk : I swear, I didn't see anything. Enjoy your stay.
Sha Gojyo : Be honest with me fellas, does this look bad?
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Sha Gojyo : Well, it sure does look like Sanzo needs some anger management.
Genjo Sanzo : If you don't move your ass I'll show you anger management.
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Sha Gojyo : Moron. That's what you get for pausing in battle to make pretty speeches.
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Sha Gojyo : Well, that certainly is a first, we're all in agreement for once.
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Sha Gojyo : I'm not sleeping tonight unless there's a woman beside me.
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Cho Hakkai : It's such an eerie feeling, though. How he actually seems to anticipate our every move.
Genjo Sanzo : That's not hard with these two.
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Sha Gojyo : Hey, Sanzo!
Genjo Sanzo : Hm?
Sha Gojyo : Lend me a smoke, will ya?
Genjo Sanzo : No way.
Sha Gojyo : Don't be a Scrooge! I gotta have my fix, man!
Genjo Sanzo : If memory serves me correctly, I seem to recall someone saying my smokes tasted like shit.
Sha Gojyo : I need nicotine right now. Cough 'em up!
Genjo Sanzo : Let go of me, that is if you wanna live, you red-haired fairy.
Sha Gojyo : [screams] I need nicotine!
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Sha Gojyo : I'll be damned. He's sleeping with eyes open.
[grabs Goku and starts shaking him]
Sha Gojyo : That's just too goddamned creepy!
Genjo Sanzo : Shut up or I'll kill you!
Cho Hakkai : That's too weird. Sanzo shouts in his sleep.
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Sha Gojyo : I left the monkey back in the forest, if you must know.
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Goku : That lady called Hakkai Gonou. I wonder, that means they were school makes or something!
Sha Gojyo : You can be so naive sometimes, Goku. They were a little more that that. I think ol' one eye was getting some nun action, if you ...
Genjo Sanzo : Enough!
[smacks Goku and Gojyo with his fan]
Genjo Sanzo : If you want something to speculate about, why don't you figure out where we're going to sleep tonight?
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Sha Gojyo : You monks aren't more moral than us. You just rationalize much better.
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Genjo Sanzo : I wish that stupid monkey would just shut the hell up.
Sha Gojyo : Whoo-hee, he's giving me a pounding headache.
Cho Hakkai : Hey, come one, bring on the booze!
Sha Gojyo : Come to think of it, I've never actually seen Hakkai drunk before.
Cho Hakkai : We might have underestimated him.
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Sha Gojyo : Hey, wake up. Your family's here to see you.
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Sha Gojyo : Aww, look, back with his own kind.
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General Kenren : Flowers are great, women are better, but I tell you, a glass of good rice wine is just heavenly.
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General Kenren : So come on, guys, if you've been wanting a piece of me, here's your chance.
[laughs]
Field Marshall Tenpou : You just had to rile them up, didn't you?
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Sha Gojyo : Hey, leggo my egg roll.
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Sha Gojyo : Yeah, Sanzo, have you seen her?
Genjo Sanzo : Why are you asking me?
Sha Gojyo : Well, she is your play pal, isn't she?
Genjo Sanzo : [puts the barrel of the banishing gun under Gojyo's chin] Please continue.
Sha Gojyo : Mommy.
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Sha Gojyo : I never knew you had such a playful side to you, monk.
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Sha Gojyo : Either they're really confident, really polite, or really bored.
Cho Hakkai : I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say all of the above.
Sha Gojyo : Or this could be their way of flirting with one of us.
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Konzen Douji : Tell me, are you and Kenren sharing the same stylist?
Field Marshal Tenpou : Yes, and I think the fashion is bound to catch on eventually!
General Kenren : Don't I look more rugged?
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Sha Gojyo : Holy shit, they're gods.
Genjo Sanzo : I really hate these guys.
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Sha Gojyo : I really hate guys like you. So willing to lay down your lives for some self-serving despot, yet completely unable to lift a finger to stand up for yourselves.
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Genjo Sanzo : Don't expect me to chant any sutras for you if you croak.
Sha Gojyo : Yes, sir. I'd sure hate for you to put yourself out, or anything.
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Sha Gojyo : You look a little winded. You should cut back on those cigarettes.
Dokugakuji : You're one to talk.
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Sha Gojyo : God? Don't you know? God is dead!
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Cho Hakkai : By the way, I'm willing to bet I'm the first guy you've ever held in your arms.
Sha Gojyo : That's right, never again.
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Genjo Sanzo : Pardon me, but don't these guys know they're supposed to be our enemies?
Sha Gojyo : Yeah, so what do you call that thing on your shoulders, huh?
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Sha Gojyo : I ain't dyin'. And I tell ya, I super hate to lose.
Genjo Sanzo : Don't say super.
Sha Gojyo : What should I say? Hella hate?
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Genjo Sanzo : Sheesh. I thought one Goku was bad enough.
Sha Gojyo : You should think of all of the trouble they'll cause for other folks.
Cho Hakkai : Besides, illegal copies are an infringement of copyright.
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Sha Gojyo : For your information, this is the one and only time I take a man to bed, got it?
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Sha Gojyo : You damn Buddha thumper.
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Sha Gojyo : Though I did spend some time with a tall, dysfunctional blond, an impulsive, excitable little airhead, and I had an emotionally unstable head case with a pretty face shack up with me for a while.
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Goku : Why would a demon com all that way just to eat a Sanzo? Are Sanzos that tasty?
Sha Gojyo : Now don't you go getting any funny ideas, hear me?
Genjo Sanzo : I seem to recall the spider woman saying something about eating holy monks. Interesting. Apparently a healthy serving of monks helps you live longer.
Cho Hakkai : So eating a high ranking monk like a Sanzo is as good as eating your fruits and vegetables when you're a demon, is that it?
Sha Gojyo : You've got to be shitting me.
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Cho Hakkai : Being a Sanzo doesn't necessarily make you as strong as a demon. He was probably a proper, serious, ordinary, very devout Sanzo.
Sha Gojyo , Goku : Oh, right, gotcha.
Genjo Sanzo : What do you mean by that?
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Cho Hakkai : I think Sanzo's starting to warm up a little.
Sha Gojyo : He can be twisted at times, but
[lisping]
Sha Gojyo : it's kinda nice to see his feminine side.
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Sha Gojyo : You, dying of hunger? That's I'd like to see.
Genjo Sanzo : What's wrong, Goku?
[Goku faints]
Cho Hakkai : Goku!
Sha Gojyo : I'll go get you some food right away! Just hold on! Don't die on me monkey.
[Goku sits up happily]
Goku : In that case, I'll take some pot stickers.
[Gojyo smacks him]
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Lirin : Hey guys!
Genjo Sanzo : No, it can't be.
Sha Gojyo : If it itsn't Sanzo's little pet. Look at Sanzo has a little pet.
Genjo Sanzo : Peeve. Pet peeve. I hate her.
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Genjo Sanzo : What a persistent little f...
Sha Gojyo : I envy you man. Why don't the chicks pursue me like this, Sanzo?
Genjo Sanzo : I will kill you.
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Lirin : Okay, bald Sanzo, here I come!
Genjo Sanzo : Goku, you fight her.
Goku : Oh, kick ass! Why'd you choose me?
Sha Gojyo : Makes sense. She's your size.
Goku : But Hakkai's the one who's good with children.
Cho Hakkai : No, no! Gojyo's the one that's good with women.
Sha Gojyo : Yeah, but she's, she's Sanzo's girlfriend.
Genjo Sanzo : You're askin' for it.
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Goku : [looking at the sunset] It's more beautiful than a meat bun!
Sha Gojyo : That's quite an endorsement.
Cho Hakkai : Come to think of it, we're always heading towards the setting sun, aren't we?
[sigh]
Cho Hakkai : Ah, sweet youth!
Sha Gojyo : [bursts out laughing] Ah sweet youth!
[keeps laughing]
Cho Hakkai : It wasn't that bad, now was it?
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Cho Hakkai : Boy we sure did leave a mess.
Sha Gojyo : And trash pickup isn't until Thursday.
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Sha Gojyo : It looks like a giant turd.
Cho Hakkai : You are so grossing me out, you know that?