Two-Bits & Pepper (1995) Poster

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5/10
Two Bits and Pepper
Ely-girl9 September 2008
Two Bits and Pepper is definitely not the best horse film I have seen and it does have a lot of faults. Adults will most likely find this film predictable and irritating but little kids are bound to enjoy it. The story is very simple - two girls are kidnapped by two very stupid kidnappers (the kind you would see in Beethoven 3, only more stupid because they can't even add 1+11!) and the kid's ponies (Two Bits and Pepper) decide to rescue their owners and bring the kidnappers to justice. The ponies do speak (Homeward Bound style) but have very irritating voices that I felt were unemotional and past caring. This film does have a lot of flaws and unfortunately they are noticeable.

The kidnappers do not speak with any emotion and sounded like they just wanted to get on with it and the girls, I think were the only ones that acted well. There were a few good scenes such as when a fire breaks out but it is fairly easy to lose interest and the film gets boring towards the end because we all know what is going to happen. Yes the horses are cute and the stunts preformed were OK and the scenery was nice but nothing could save this film from the lack of professionalism. I think it will appeal more to little kids. But one good point is that the film teaches them that they should not talk to strangers or get in a stranger's car. This film is not great and I have seen better but for the money (£1 in Woolworths) it is OK though I would not view it more than once. 5/10.
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3/10
More fun than a root canal
jowhite-511 April 2012
Joe Piscopo delivered a fairly good performance, although "Zike" was a shade too contrived. He can do better. By far he was the best actor - everyone else was either wooden, too stage-y, or couldn't deliver their lines with appropriate intonation or emotion. The script left a lot to be desired. Why would the mom not think to look for her daughter in her horse's barn? Why would a girl run off without her horse (DUH - teen girls and horses, ya know - LOL!)? Most disturbing - why would a movie show a little girl chatting with and exchanging insults with two men who have just invited her into their car? She wouldn't have gotten away with that in real life.

Oh well, we have a lot of fun with interpreting what the horses are really saying. Most of the time, they're asking, "Are you gonna give me that treat, or what?" The little horse tries to dominate the big horse in many of the scenes. Best of all, when one horse is supposed to be encouraging the other, he's doing the equine equivalent of flipping the bird! Park your brain at the door, but do pause and talk about things from time to time with your kids.

I gave it three stars because of Joe Piscopo, and because I can think of movies that are a lot worse.
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3/10
Wow...just....wow Warning: Spoilers
I cannot believe my sisters and I were obsessed with this movie.... rewatching it as a young adult.... I found it laughable.... I recall a scene where Katie is running in a field away from the bad guy...and the camera is showing her in the field but it doesn't even look like she's going anywhere....it looks like she's running in place lol. Another scene I remember is where the mother catches her daughter out in town when she's not supposed to be there....well it looks like the mom will march right over to her and scold her...but no....the mo walks toward her daughter but not enough for the daughter to see her...and then the mother starts saying something like "oh when you get home you're I so much trouble"...clearly the daughter is out of hearing range and it shows very clearly that the daughter is oblivious to her mother's presence. It's so horrible🤣😂 I rate it 3 stars just because it WAS a part of my childhood.
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1/10
One of the worst movies I've ever seen.
mikelippenkrantz16 March 2015
Warning: Spoilers
I'm a fan of "Mystery Science Theater 3000," so I've willingly sat through some of the worst films ever made. But when it comes to children's entertainment, it doesn't get more bottom-of-the-barrel than this little disasterpiece. Normally, there wouldn't be any need to write a review about movies like this. This movie disappeared into a well-deserved obscurity. But now I find it in 10 movie children's film DVD packs available for $5 at Wal-Mart. So some unsuspecting parent will stumble upon this film, think it a harmless piece of entertainment for the kids, and then proceed to traumatize their children for life with a story about bratty girls, creepy, repulsive, yet idiotic kidnappers, a dream sequence about a horse getting killed, a reference to white slavery (I'm not kidding), and a wonderfully bloody scene of a horse on an operating table after getting shot. Please...if you love your children...avoid this film. It's not for kids. It's not for ANYONE.
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A star vehicle for careers in decline
spamqill1 December 2002
Mind numbing would be a compliment for this film. Children's films should entertain kids and make them want to talk about the film, not what they're going to do after it's over.

For anyone over age ten, this is insulting to the intelligence. Huge plot holes, kids behaving smarter than their age, and adults who are incapable of the obvious help you forget the insulting dialogue. I almost felt sorry for Dennis Weaver and Joe Piscopo being a part of this.

I had to use this film on DVD with subtitles to teach English to my Japanese students; they were 11 and found this painful to watch. Clearly it's not for anyone smarter than "Zike" or "Spider".

Exactly what was the point of the horse rustlers who never appear again? At least in Monty Python's "Life Of Brian", the UFO scene was put in for humour. And _do_ horse rustlers really exist in this day and age?
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1/10
the most boring and terrible family movie of all time
sandlot19923 June 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This cheesy family movie is truly that terrible, the story is awkward, the characters are forgettable including the 2 burglars who are like clone versions of Marv and Harry from the 2 Home Alone movies with Macaulay Culkin and even the Horses talk that's similar to "Homeward Bound the Incredible Journey" and "Look Who's Talking Now!" since some certain animals talk without there mouths moving and of course the scene when Two Bits was shot is really that sad. and so just see this once and never watch it again.
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8/10
Funny
tonismeaton13 May 2020
The reason I'm rating this high is I absolutely loved this movie as a kid and I'm rewatching now and I see more of the humour in it, I'm only 20 and I still love this movie
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light hearted fare, my girls loved it and have seen it 4 times.
nomad-1017 January 1999
Nice little story about 2 girls and their horses. The horses talk to each other in the style of Homeward Bound or Look Who's Talking. Toss in two bumbling kidnappers (both played by Joe Piscopo) for some comic relief and we have a story with a little drama, comedy, parental conflict on the trials and tribulations of growing up. Although predictable, it is charming and will appeal to little girls everywhere.
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10/10
Best. Movie. Ever.
perfectponies24 February 2017
Watched it every year for my birthday for seven years still going! While others who don't like it may not appreciate it, as a horse lover I loved it and found it hilarious! This movie is like home alone with horses and is definitely worth more than 2.9 stars! I gave it 10 and I believe it deserves more of those!!!
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I loved this silly movie!
cherylsplace9 December 2013
As a grandmother and horse lover/owner, I loved this movie...of course it was beyond slap-stick silly...but that's half the fun! My grand daughter LOVED the old Mr Ed talking horse series and would watch them religiously. I wish I could have shown this movie to her before loosing her! My husband and I both watched this...we're well educated but not too sophisticated to where we don't enjoy a few silly movies. Loved the scenery...Santa Barbara California is one awesome place to live...is beyond beautiful! Loved the sunshine, green pastures and rolling hills. My 20 yr old grandson said this movie is terrible...too silly...but he's a college sophisticate! I'd watch this again and share with my other grand kids...they'll have a good laugh!
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